So I met up with this girl recently to have some coffee and chat. Unfortunately she laid out all her problems for me (i immediately start thinking....FUCK). Just that she got out of a bad relationship, and had recently been hanging with some mutual friends that got into drugs in a bad way.

Anyways, I tried to DLV these people, and she isnt planning on seeing them. I also tried to DHV myself, showing some mutual interests, but I really didnt talk so much. She definitely wants to hang out again, I just dont want to become her friend, and this seems like one of those situations.

Anyways, the day after coffee (yesterday) she texts me at 12:30am to see what im up to. (she gets drunk and the first thing she does is think of me? Not bad I guess). Now unfortunately I was just sitting at home, not doing anything interesting. So I ignored the text and went about my business (establish social proof? Ill just tell her i was at a bar and didnt hear it?), intending to let her know i missed it. I really just didnt want to make myself available to her every whim.

Not sure if what i did was right, so i was wondering about that.

Having a small party friday, I will invite her over for that, but yeah. Opinions?

Telling her you missed it because you were in a bar is not a bad move at all.

Invite her to that party bro, but make sure you kino escalate. Have you kino'd at all? If you dont do it from the 'start' you can end up LJBF'd.

When you are having your party, pay attention to her but also to other women and make sure she notices. Be loved. Be the center of the party (it's your party so you should be able to handle that).
Isolate her and work your magic.

You'll do great bro good luck.

Chillburg

...and if she start talking just say to her: "..OK, let's not talk about bad things, with ME you're having FUN!!!"

talking about problems with a girl is either what friends do or what couples do, you don't want to become friends, and you're not a couple yet

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"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"

Thanks guys. From the sounds of it I am handling the situation pretty well. I haven't kinod yet but sitting the way we were in Starbucks it wasnt really possible (i gave her a hug when I left, but that was about it).

I am getting much better at my kino escalation and will work it on her at the party (backrubs during beer pong, etc etc). My friends are all great guys, and pretty decent wings. They will definitely help demonstrate that I know how to have fun.

@Streetlight: That sounds like a good line for if she brings up something bitchy/negative

Bullshit...

Even if the table you're sitting between is huge you lean over and say...

You: Heyyy you look competitive... Are you?
Her: no/yes.

You: Well let's see. Do you know how to play thumb wars? Come on let's do best of three. The winner gets to choose where we go next.

Her: Umm OK ( holds out hands )

You: Ewwww, you could have told me your hands were clammy before.
Her: What? Ha ha sorry.

You: Don't worry, you can make it up to be later. Anyway you look kinda cute when you're nervous... One, two three four. I declare a thumb war...

You:Damn girl, are you always this aggressive?

Her: No/yes

You: Gotta keep my eye on you kid. Don't I.

And so on.

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tweeby is right, there is always a way to kino.

Your right!! When I get her over to my place later this week I will not let opportunity slip by!

When you're in a she's across the table situation you can also do palm reading. If possible, always try to take the chair right next to her instead of across from her so you have an easy time doing kino and I find it to be a more comforting situation when talking.

100th post woot

Say things to her that her friends wouldn't ever say. For example,

"If I didn't want to fuck you, I'd still hang out with you."

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Is this serious? I can't tell.....

in the right situation why not



and a word or two about kino
just be a touchy guy, don't make a big deal out of nothing. Hugging her/Kissing her on the cheek when you leave is NOT enough, everybody do that.

tap on the arm or on the shoulder when you talk, stroke her hair like she's a dog (in a playful way), thumb wrestle, walk arm in arm, piggy back rides JUST BE TOUCHY...

when you say goodbye and hug, give her a big kiss on the cheek, like you mean it, and then if there would be a kiss situations it wouldn't be weird if you'll kiss her

the idea of escalating it means you start with touching her on the arm when you talk, then thumb wrestle, them walk arm in arm, then hug then kiss then sex then group sex if she's into it (I overdid the last bit didn't I)

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"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"