Hey Mate,

I just put up a video on YouTube on How to Break Out of the Friend Zone. Check it out here. [youtube]<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/r9jeyLvpuBM&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/r9jeyLvpuBM&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>[/youtube]

Haven't forgotten about it! Trying to personally answer all of these takes a while. :0)

Alright dude, this is a good one. This girl is obviously into you, otherwise she would lot be texting and meeting up with you. However, you might have made her nervous by telling her that you liked her.

The best thing to do in this situation is to escalate physically while comforting her verbally. A girl would not go home with you and sleep in your bed if she wasn't expecting something to happen. Her coming out of a relationship is something still on her mind so she needs to know that things won't move too quickly and she won't be burned emotionally.

Ensure that things will be casual and "safe" yet escalate them physically and sexually. Good luck mate!

Hey Clayton,

I did EVERYTHING. I practiced absolutely everywhere you could think of. I started as soon as I walked out of my door each morning. I would go to Leicester Square in London and approach everyone that came by. Throughout the day I would then go to coffee shops, bookstores, shopping centres, etc. throughout the day.

At night I would then go to pubs, bars and clubs. I tried it all! At the very beginning I would approach any female I saw so I could get the practice in. The better I got the more selective I would be.

Do it however you like and tweak it as you get the results you are looking for. Have fun mate!

At the very very beginning I did use standard routines but dropped those very quickly and started coming up with my own stories and material to use that actually related to me. Using stuff that is about you and relates to you specifically is the best way to go!

Adam, I just watched your LJBF video. Are the steps in that video applicable with a girl who flat out tells you she isn't interested in a relationship with anyone? I've been involved with this HB 8, and though I've finally killed the oneitis I had for over a year, I still want to see if something can happen. I'm not interested in a friends with benefits situation with her, but I'd be willing to go back to dating her if the option for a relationship was on the table. Short story is: we made out a year ago, I liked her but had no game at the time. After a long time of not seeing her, we eventually randomly met up and she started hanging in my circle. We ended up going on two dates, not much kino on the first but tons on the second (that date was on the 23rd of December).

However, when I was driving her home she asked me what I was looking for, stating the above problem. The idiot I was, I told her straight out that I would like that with her and blah blah blah, dead date from there. Two days later she texted me and I asked her what she meant by that and if it was her not wanting one with me or not wanting one period. I joined this crowd that night, been doing better ever since. A week later, a bunch of us went to a bar and she decided to sit next to me, I started with the kino again but she pushed me away saying her head wasn't right as she'd had too much to drink. So I pull off and go back to my group. Is she still game, or should I completely move on? I've had a few day 2s since then and a few prospects are still in line, but a part of me doesn't want to give up. Still haven't re-kclosed. I think I built too much comfort and not enough attraction, but she still doesn't want a relationship so I'm unsure of how to proceed.

_________________
"All the dragons in our lives are perhaps princesses expecting us to be handsome and brave, all the terrifying things are perhaps nothing but helpless things waiting for us to help them." Rilke

Hey man,

Don't worry, I will not sugar coat everything and be completely honest. Yes, you have a disability and that means some women will look at you differently, but most wont. This really comes down to a preference thing. The same way some women might only like blonde guys or tall guys, some might not like that you have a disability. However other women won't care and this will not affect your game.

The best way to get women to take you seriously is to to comfortable with your situation. It is not a common situation but if you are actually making a genuine connection with someone then they will be able to look past it. The connections you make with them are more important than your disability.

Lastly, yes, I have absolutely worked with people who are disabled, both mentally and physically. I have taught guys with only 1 arm, guys in wheelchairs who have no legs, and so on. They have to find ways to work around their situation but it is only a speed bump along their journey.

Keep meeting people and making those connections. Your journey might not take you on the same road as everyone else but you will get there.

Hey SPAM,

The main way I was able to recover from a rejection is by knowing that the only way I would improve is to do it again and again. It sounds cliche but when you fall off your bike you have to dust off your scraped knees and get back on.

You learn much more through your failures than you do your successes. Those failures are gold because you can use them to shape your future interactions.

The best technique I use to get back into the swing of things is to do 5 quick approaches and give compliments to those people. Don't wait around and try to take it further than that, JUST give a compliment and put a smile on their face. When you have had 5 positive reactions from strangers you will be in a better mood and able to get back into it!

Good luck bro and don't be so hard on yourself!

Hey Vandaman,

This is a fun one to answer! OK, DHV stories don't officially have a place in my formula however they are definitely good to use at a specific time in the conversation. The best time to use DHVs is when you are relating to a girl on a specific point and you have a story or experience that will put you in a good light and help further the conversation. So I guess it would be in the (C-R) part. It's building comfort because you are relating to the girl yet breaking rapport because it is helping build that attraction.

Also, there is no set time for qualification just make sure you aren't getting into a string of question asking. Using your smoking example, it is OK to follow up with a why type question, just make sure that when they are finished answering you then give a bit of information about yourself. Doing that is rewarding their compliance and also matching their investment into the interaction.

Keep at it mate!

Hey Omar,

The advice I give to someone wanting to game a girl that lives with their boyfriend is very simple... Don't. I never ever ever advise or encourage it. Make friends with her and meet her single friends. If they do break up then you can swoop in as the shoulder to cry on. But until then keep it as friends.

Since I've been home on break I've hung out with a girl I use to kinda have a thing with (I know she liked me and all but didn't act on it) Anyway she's a ton hotter and I wanna get on that asap. She says she would like to see me with all that bullshit, blah blah. I hung out with her and her friend in a kinda ice skating double date but the focus was on her friend. I tried to isolate and add some kino, and go for a k-close but it was so hard getting there. She's kinda quiet and is a bit unresponsive to my moves

Any suggestions?

Hey Adam!
Big fan of yours. Never really felt comfortable with the whole Mystery Routine based stuff and your "method" just fit me much better. Feels real.

As it is right now - I can't imagine any situation where I wouldn't know what to do and be comfortable at the same time - even when making "mistakes". I still, and it'll probably be like this forever, need to get into state. Playing the room with short openers and greetings, or the street for that matter (doesn't gain you any social proof tho), as warm ups does work - but what I'd like to know is if there's any way to see more of you in field. I've seen the one with comforting kino, the one with where you game the mexican girl and a few more. I'd like to see more, and I've read that you still have more out there - so how would I get acces to these ?

I've also got another question -
I've been reading alot of NLP which has really helped my inner game and helped me realize I could change - but I've also read Speed Seduction by Jeffries. The shit seems kind of weird, and I'd much rather make a genuine bond than trying to create one with patterns - but I tried a pattern once with a girl with whom I was already doing quite well - and after I had done this she's been way into me. Now of course doing it once does not qualify as scientific proof - there could be much more to it - but I do believe the experiencing like these trance states together is very powerful.
So my goal is to be able to get anywhere I want without these games - but I'd like to use them once in a while for the fun of it, and to really manifest attraction or comfort. So how would you go about delivering these kinds of patterns?

So far my guess would be when you've already established attraction and everythings going smooth - at this point where you can maybe even move her around, have her beeing comfortable with you on a physical level it would seem quite likely to me that this would work.
Your thoughts?

Thank you so much for your time

Hey Adam,

Thanks for all the free stuff you are providing... I do appreciate this soo much mate. Just thank you

I have this female friend I know for more than 6 yrs.

This new year I finally grow the balls to go all in and got till a kiss-close and made out with her quite hard.
One week bevore I left my country to go back to GB where I study, we had very passionate long lasting sex, she stayed with me the whole last day and called me till I was in my plane.
I played quite good I think (even though I was not calibrated at all... and maybe overdid it a little. She once said she can't hold track with me). I showed her that I am a leader, independent, strong, protective, smart, funny, manly, sexual... and she accepted it all and agrees.

She always says that she feels very good in my arms and when shes close to me. When I play these lill "Imagine we would life together as wife and husbent.. What would we do if...."-Games, she totally is into it and plans our future together.
We still have contact every day...

Here is my problem:

She has a Boyfriend. And hes a dick!
He doesn't treat her half as good as I could, did and would (even she sais that) but jet he is in her heart and she always had trouble to decide things (in this case between him and me).

He was away for work for about 6 month.. Now he will return for a month, then leave again. In that time the die will cast.

I don't know how to act right in this situation.
I don't try to "convince her" of me. She sais she is very torn since she fears to loose everything if we do not match after all...

Shall I completely stop any contact (mails) as long as he is there?
Shall I stop any contact at all?
If I shouldn't (actually I don't want to stop it, its the best part of my day to talk to her in the evening)... How should I behave to attract her even more?

I never did sth. like that. I really like her and wouldn't do it if I would not think that I am the better deal.

I gained several FBs the last months... But I don't feel like visiting them anymore... This time it really could work out good for all parties. You know what I mean?

Can you give me an advice?

Sincerely

MiRu

Hey Foxtrot,

Gaming old flames is slightly different as you have a history, the formula doesn't change but the application of it does as she already has a previous in mind a previous dynamic of the two of you. You need to revitalise this concept and make it so it's all new.

She stated that she would like to be with you, which of course means she likes you but as you had so much trouble with escalating and her being unresponsive it sounds like she's not quite ready to jump to the next phase just yet.

It's best to start from scratch with Comfort and Break Rapport, focus on these two things. Keep jumping between them. Remember to always go back to comfort with kino “I'm only joking” then give her a hug after any Breaks in Rapport, Talk some more and Break Rapport again.

With the constant jumps from Comfort to Rapport Breaks and back again, she'll begin to loosen up, which will ultimately get her to join in (invest) and start to break your balls too.

Once this happens, she won't be unresponsive when you're escalating and you can ride off together into the sunset ;0)

Good Luck,
Adam

Hey Phantomnote,

Thanks for the props man, I love that my work is liked!

Honestly mate I have never liked the idea of using NLP patterns in game. It's just not something I agree with and is definitely not something I teach so I wouldn't know. Sorry

Once she's invested in you and the interaction, there's really no need for patterns or NLP anyway, All that you need to do from there is keep the interaction fun and escalate. Why wouldn't she want to be part of a fun, exciting journey with a cool guy? Why add patterns and other similar things when you're on the way to sharing an intimate connection without it anyway? ;0)

As for my videos, I regularly produce new content and put up all of my videos, new theories and concepts on here.

www.instantattractiontraining.com

Hope this helps,
Adam