Hey so yeah my name def describes whats going on in my life...my end goal is trying find a good girl to date but in the meantime if i find a few hotties to sleep with that doesnt hurt either...however today i went on my first date in 2 yrs. I dated a girl for 5 yrs and havent been dating a lot but have had a few hook ups here and there.

The night started out with us meeting at my friend Katies house. I was welcomed in by her father and met Leta (the girl Katie was setting me up with whom I never met before) She didnt stand up and so i jus leaned over and hugged her. I then hugged the mom and talked to the parents for a while. Leta didnt say much so made me presume she prob didnt even want to do this. Katie comes downstairs with her bf later and we chat for a bit then head out.

We all drive to dinner together, im in the back with leta and of course we arent sitting next to each other. She has her bag inbetween to show distance. I try to talk to her, ask her about school and what shes doing but its very short answers and she doesnt ask me anything. Im an intelligence and russian major; what major is more interesting than that? So i try make small talk not much and we do not make much eye contact. When we get to the restaurant she said im getting out your side but i didnt hear her and closed the door then katie locked her out...it was pretty funny and we turned it into a joke and everyone was laughing

we get to dinner and we sit by each other and talk a lil and she plays with her hair a little bit so i start thinking okay things can get better. We all start having some good convo but its between the whole group and not to each other. By the end of the dinner I was like alright fuck this i jus want to leave but no we have to go out to dessert. We get in the car and she has the bag inbetween us again however she is leaning a little bit towards my direction. Still no convo between us very quiet and im starting to get confused. Later i realized when she sits she jus leans to the right which is the side i was sitting on. We drive around trying to find icecream but everything is close end up at a diner and get some dessert. Basically the same as dinner...go back to katies house and talk a lil bit. We then head out, i purposely leave at the same time as leta and walking out is quiet, she said well im this way and i said alright nice meeting you take care and jus leave

so heres the questions:
1) what could i have done to change things around
2) there was very little kino jus a touch and when i helped her out of the car and the hug so how do i help initiate that
3) how do i get convo to go? should i have been ignoring her for a while? (i kind of did that at the beginning of the night when i was talking to the parents and playing with the dog)
4) what else did i do wrong?

In my opinion, she was acting normally for a girl who is nervous. Of course her shields are up, she doesn't know you.

If I were you, I would have just had a conversation with your friends and tried to include her in your conversation.

There are many reasons why things may have worked out the way that they did, it's tough to tell. You spoke about her body language, what about yours? You have to initiate kino almost immediately! Do not wait until later on in the interaction, I repeat, DO NOT.

Did you at least set up a Day2? Get a phone number? Anything?

Dude, just be confident and have a strong frame, you can get away with just about whatever you want!

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Life is a game. Win.

no i didnt get a number of set up anything else...i was jus getting annoyed and wanted to leave...my body language was open and relaxed...rarely did i have my arms crossed, usually leaned in to a convo to convey interest or laid back to show relaxness or openness to talk

It honestly sounds like she was just nervous/didn't really want to be on a double date(or a date in general).

As for conversation, if she wasn't talking to you much/answering your Q's, then you should have focused more on the group and tried to include her that way.

Give it a few days then ask your friend if the girl said anything to her about the date.

alright ill do that thanks bud

It seems like she was being really shy. Did you try to ask her any opinion questions or try to DHV at all?

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yeah i tried to ask her opinions and i thought i demonstrated higher value but i donno maybe i wasnt doing it very well...she knows one of my friends and is going into his area today so im gonna call him up ask him if he knows her..not mention much about her and tell her shes in his area should call him and talk to him about whats going on and let him talk to her...hoping hell say yea dev called me mentioned you were here and she may ask if i said anything about her which i didnt and see how that plays out

Sounds like she was shy or really didn't want to be thier.

Talking to shy girls is an absoloute pain in the ass; the main deal is figuring out shyness from dis-interest. Big mistake alot of new guys make i assuing that no conversation and distant body language means it's a no go.

With these girls, mirroring and social calibration are a must have.

Also wide open questions like "So what do you do in your spare time" You should be careful of as it tends to put girls on the spot and mke them more nervous.

It's like asking someone to tell you a joke, they may normally be very capable of providing converstion, but when they feel they are being pressured or co-erced into conversation they freeze up.

To summarise.

1. Know the difference between timidity and dis-interest.

2. Learn how to mirror, and think about how to frame the conversation in such a way that she can participate without feeling pressured.

And it wasn't a disaster, it was a learning eperience.