Hey guys, I know i'm going against the grain and and a lot of you are going to advise me to ditch and move on. However, that's not the advice I'm looking for.
My last LTR of almost 4 years contacted me today, it's been 2 months since our break up. I'd like to see if I can revive our old relationship because for awhile things were really well and I was certain that she was the one.
I blame a lot of the sour part of our relationship on myself not behaving like a good boyfriend. I was selfish, and just overall lacked good communication and relationship skills. All while convinced that she was the one being too needy and controlling. In retrospect I know there's a lot of things I could of done to save the relationship.
I know that we both have feelings for eachother, And i'm pretty certain that it's possible for us to get back together,(we have many times in the past while I was still a shitty boyfriend,) although it is going to require a lot of work. Right now I'm sure she feels frightened to get back into our relationship and I know that she has a lack of confidence, self esteem and trust in herself and I.

All while reading relationship and PUA material since, I think that I have made the right changes to actually be commited in a LTR now. But I'm unsure how to start on square one. Obviously I need to build her trust and comfort with me, which is going to be a huge investment that won't be easy. Anyone have any tips on how I can start this off? And any other advice on how to produce decent results until I can lock into the relationship? I don't know if I need to display myself as independent and not needy of her company or what. Maybe this situation calls for a different approach than pick up.
I appreciate the help guys.

To be honest I think you need to make some changes within yourself before you can get back with this girl. If you don't make some serious changes then the whole cycle will keep repeating (getting back together then breaking up). I would buy the book "creative visualization" by shakti gawain. This will help you in every aspect of life especially relationships. It will be the best $12.99 you will ever spend. If you don't think so send me the bill and I'll reimburse you.

I would keep in contact with her but don't get serious until you finish that book. I'm telling you this shit will change your whole perspective on life. You will understand that this is the right chick for you and you should stop being such a fucking prick to her (sorry if that sounds too harsh) or you will understand that something better is waiting for you and maybe you two weren't meant to be together.

This may or may not be the PUA thing to do but I'm telling you it will work.

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Don't take life too seriously, you'll never make it out alive.

Thanks, I will go out and buy the book. I'm not offended by what you said. For the most part I'll even agree with you. I was a prick, it wasn't intentional however. I just didn't know how to act and make sacrifices for another person. I've already made changes to myself, But i'm always looking to improve so I'll be glad to give it a read.

Once you know why 9/10 of everyone tells you to ditch and move on you may break that rule and face the consequences.

Share your wisdom with me

i was kind of interested in this post cuz the girl i recently broke up with in my eyes is the one but she felt a little diferent due to the fact im leaving for the airforce within a month and when it comes down to it i want her to do what is gonna make her happy and i have since started moving on...anyway i say about the book that was suggested creative visualization.... i went to amazon and looked at the summary and decided to say skrew it and buy it just for the sake of new expierience and spontanuity. haha it will be here thursday i hope it is as life changing as you say-travis