You're absolutely right, she does think the same and she will jump in.

I've been acting like such a pussy because I recently got out of an 8yr ltr and have been out of the game for so long.

But you know what, my ex was hot as fuck and I had plenty of ex’s before her who were hot as fuck too, and this was long before I even knew what pick up was.

Despite my recent weak and needy state she keeps chasing me because I'm a good-looking, fun, awesome fucking dude that she’s been infatuated with for years. All this bullshit ends tonight, IT’S FUCKING ON!!

Alright . . . let's shift this ride into gear! It's on . . .

Just a few thoughts however:

1. "Driving" you life isn't a decision but a continuous act. It's absolutely OK if you let go of the wheel once in a while as long as you're mindful of what's going on and self correct.

2. Your name is probably mentioned a few hundred times in this girl's diary AND she's your sister's friend. This is has "LTR, possible marriage" written all over it. You just got out of an 8 year relationship. Make sure that your goals match the girl. If you're looking to fuck around, this girl is probably not a good fit. Make sure that this isn't the girl you're working on due to convenience. (She's around you all the time and you KNOW she likes you)

3. The idea behind our little game is that it allows you to PICK UP girls regardless of her current mindset towards you or logistical convenience. Meaning, you can get just about anybody who crosses your path to jump in for a ride on your fun life.

Have fun.

You should go to that party, but not to game HER. Game her friends, game any fucking girl at the party, dont kiss them though...be fucking seductive to every person, guy or girl, make the guys your friends and the girls attracted to you. Don't be obvious about it though.

You have one-itis, but this is a win-win situation right now. By being popular at that party, she will:

- See you're moving on, and having fun
- Become more attracted to you

You can only win, you can score new numbers from girls, open up new relationships, and maybe you can still win her over indirectly. Because if you really are 'loved' at the party, she will see the qualities in you and she will seek contact again.

If she opens on you during the party (DO NOT OPEN HER, if you see her just say Hi and move on to other sets), and if all of this worked and she wants to go on a date or whatever or hang out, tell her "No, because you're not worth my time since you keep flaking on me". Make her work for it really hard.

I've been suggesting you let go but, you can't seem to forget her that easily. Go out to that party to have fun, but don't try to game her. Put on a strong, 'i dont give a fuck' frame and kick some asses.

SHE DIDN'T SHOW! After talking with her friend at the party, it sounds like they ran into my roomate on the street and that's why they came in our house the other night. They didn't stop by on purpose with the intention of inviting me to the party. The party came up in conversation and I think I was invited out of obligation. Also, I heard she was spotted out with another guy about a week ago.

I still had fun and made a good showing at the party. The other girls there were really into me.

Kind of sucks though

then now it is time to let go, to fully let go of her.

I hope you can look back at this situation and learn something from it mate.

Best of luck,

Chillburg.

Chillburg,

Wrong analysis, wrong strategy, wrong mindset.

R Swerve,

After you read what I am about to write, do yourself a favor and just give yourself 5 minutes of silence. I'm not asking you to meditate for a month like some Buddha-boy. All I ask for you to do is just see if you can sit and do nothing for 5 minutes.

You wrote:
Screaming is easy isn't it? It's a great way to begin but you have some habitual patterns you seriously need to shatter. Screaming is a good beginning but you'll need to do MUCH MORE. So I followed up with this:
Just because you screamed once that "It's fucking on!!" doesn't mean that it will CONTINUE to be on. You must CONTINUE to monitor your emotions and your actions because you have a habit of allowing life to DRIVE YOU around. Read your last post on this thread and think about what was going on in your mind. Hell, just read the first sentence:
Ohhhh . . . boo hoo . . . my LITTLE SISTER'S LITTLE FRIEND didn't show up to the party. Boo hoo . . .

Here's EXACTLY what's going on:

Cast:

You: 30 year old MAN
Girl: Younger sister's friend.

Synopsis: Girl has a crush on her friend's older brother. She's had a crush on him for a LOOOONG time. His name is featured on her diary extensively. Every day that goes by without her speaking up makes it incrementally more difficult to speak her mind. But every day that goes by also makes her think, "Why isn't HE speaking up? If he liked me, he probably would. He's had relationships . . . he probably just sees me as a little kid or something . . . . boo hoo . . . " (This is what girls do. She's a chick. She has no balls . . . She is "supposed" to sit there and go boo hoo . . .)

The 30 year old MAN lost his balls along the way somewhere between some sappy Walt Disney Movies and an 8 year relationship. He forgot that 1. Man sees a woman he likes. 2. Man engages the woman in conversation. 3. Man offers to spend time with the woman.

For some reason, this 30 year old "MAN" doesn't have the balls to do any of this. And although this isn't great, it's also not so bad. Plenty of kids on this forum do not have the balls to engage women in the 3 step process. R. Swerve, what is astounding to me is that you're throwing a "hissy fit" over a YOUNGER GIRL who can't do the steps above FOR YOU. Remember . . . YOU CAN'T DO IT EITHER. You expect a little girl to "ask you out", set everything up, and run you around as if you are her "little girl"? You're disappointed because she didn't follow through?

You wrote:
The bullshit is still stinking it up and "IT" is not even close to being warmed up.

Let's think about what JUST HAPPENED. Do you really believe for one minute that she invited you, then didn't go in order to set you up or do something crazy? Right now, you're not even registering in the girl's head. She's going along with what ever is in front of her and what ever is fun. You are neither in front of her or showing her anything fun. (Sitting at home and calculating one liner PU cliche' zingers is just lame . . . )

You are not a kid. You are not a girl. Based on your posts, I can tell that you are not short on words. You have the power to just dial her number and go, "Hey, ever been to ______? I hear it's a ton of fun. Let's check it out on Friday." This is what MEN do. You don't do this because you are thinking, "Will she? Won't she?" (This is what WOMEN DO sitting at home while waiting for guys to call them)

You don't need primers on "pick up tricks". What you need to do is get your shit together and RELAX. This has nothing to do with oneitis and this particular girl. You think those girls at the party were into you? Get real. Until you can get:
Really turned on and keep it fucking turned on, you're going to spinning in a circle chasing your own tail. Give yourself 5 and mediate on this.

Well I spoke up, and I probably went a little overboard with this advice but fuck it. I felt like I had nothing to lose at this point. I left her a voicemail saying I wanted to talk with her that night and she never called back so I e-mailed her the next morning.

I wrote about five paragraphs basically saying:

-This whole time I’ve wanted to hang out with her and connect with her 1-on-1 without a bunch of family and friends around but it didn't seem like she wanted that. (Kasabi, I did make plans with her for drinks a couple times in the beginning but she flaked, and I texted her to meet my friends and I a few weeks ago but she didn’t respond)

-I don't want to quickly jump into something serious but if something serious naturally develops over time then great, but I don't want there to be pressure on either of us.

-I always thought she was cool as hell but was too young. I said that now I think she’s gorgeous, hilarious, and straight up told her that I like her. Was this a major AFC move? I just wanted her to know that I don't still think of her as a little kid.

-I said the timing is finally just right in both of our lives for us to give this a shot and asked her if she wanted to go out.

She said she was flattered by my email and would like to go out. I’M BACK IN THE GAME!!! AND I BELIEVE KASABI DESERVES TO BE KNIGHTED FOR THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!

I was going to take her out for a drink last night and ran into a whole new problem. My sister is not cool with her brother and her best friend going out… and she cockblocked the living shit out of me!

Before the date, my sister brought my date down to my parents house (where I've been living recently since my marital separation), poured everyone glasses of wine (and kept my date’s glass topped off) and broke out a bunch of old photo albums. I kept my eyes peeled for opportunities for the two of us to leave but there was no escape! We spent two hours with my family and then she went back to her place with my sister.

I rolled with it and tried to make the best out of the situation. We had good rapport but there was zero sexual tension. My attempts at kino didn't help and it was impossible to enter or project a sexual state with my whole family there. We had a total friend vibe going on.

She was a good sport and sent a text after she left saying, “I think your family might have cock blocked you”. I texted back saying I am going to need to kidnap her to get her away from my family”.

I'm thinking of sending another text playfully saying, “Still recovering from the best date of your life?” And then I’ll thank her for being a good sport and try to set another date up. Should I text her this today or wait another day?

How am I doing guys? Any suggestions?

Also, before I got back in the game with her I set up a date with another girl. Should I go on it or cancel? I definitely can't let my sister find out about this, right?

It’s Back Off

My sis just told me that her friend “just thinks it will be too awkward”. This girl doesn’t like me. After all of my AFC moves I sealed my fate with the biggest AFC move of them all by telling her how much I liked her and shit like I’m a 10-year old girl. When I was writing that e-mail I thought I was writing a masterpiece but I was writing my own death certificate. My sister wasn’t cockblocking me. My sister is a wonderful person. She was helping her friend get out of a date that she didn't want to go on but didn't have the heart to reject me after I spilled my guts to her.

I know I need to check my emotions but this gets to me. I feel so fucking embarrassed. I’m going to feel so awkward around this girl and all my sister’s friends now. They are all very close and I’m sure they all know what went down. I always thought I was the cool older brother but now I’m just a weak and needy little girl.

Learning this game is tough man, especially when you're 30 years old and going through a divorce? I'm making all these boneheaded moves AFTER reading a few books on pickup and WITH the help of all you guys who are more experienced. I can't imagine how much worse things would be if I didn't have these resources. And the other date I have lined up... it's not actually a date yet. It's just a phone number I got from a girl I work with (I know) and probably an obligatory one at that. Shit’s going to get awkward at work too. By the way, TODAY actually happens to be my 4-year wedding anniversary. Well I sure fucking hope this is my rock bottom.

I'm sorry to get all sappy. I'm just really feeling the hurt right now.

Thanks for all your help guys.

R Swerve,

Ha ha ha . . . ^^this is a great fucking Woody Allenish monologue. Sorry about the laughter but damn, you are one funny dude.

Well . . . simply put, you DIDN'T MEDITATE ENOUGH.

How much time did you give yourself before you decided to email this girl? How much time did you give yourself to think about STRATEGY prior to actually writing the email? You are a passionate guy. . . .I can totally feel it, but you have absolutely no direction. One little thing and you're changing your mind like a teenage chick lost in a shopping mall.

Think about this . . . you did nothing, nothing, nothing . . . then you went crazy and spilled your guts out. When she didn't answer the phone, you could have just, "Hey, jingle bells . . ." and hung up . . . and then you could have called her later on. It would have been great if you could have begun acting like the "older 30 year old guy" instead of acting like a 14 year old kid writing a love letter to his high school English Teacher . . .

But Still . . .look at what happened.

I still think she LIKES YOU. . . You wrote her an email and it wasn't a phone conversation. She had time to think . . . she had time to absorb . . . and she told you that she'd like to try it out. Girls who try to "not hurt" a guy's feelings will seldom agree to a wussy offerings like the one you just offered. They will give you ALL THE EXCUSES about "friendship, blah, blah, blah . . . " but don't actually say, "OK, let's go out . . ."
- Could work both ways . . . She might want shift the responsibility of dissing you to somebody else or she might be trying to tell you, "I want to fuck you but your fucking sister is a COCK BLOCK!!!" The only way to get an idea of what's going on would be to just relax, relax, relax . . . and just focus on your tasks.

You went from calling your sister a "cock block" to a "sweetheart".

You went from "It's fucking on!" to "it's fucking off".

Settle the fuck down man. These premonitions and insta-analysis have very little to do with reality and too much with your mind that seems to be spinning at the speed of light. You get PSYCHED over little nothings and you get totally FLATTENED by little nothings.

At this point, I am somewhat afraid to tell you what I think. I don't want you to get sooooo excited that you just drop all your shit and call her up again acting like a 15 year old. Yet, I don't think you should be moping around like a 15 year old chick who just broke out with zits on her prom day.
- Think about this carefully. Whose words are these? Who says this to who and why? Just relax. . . and if you can figure this out, relax even more. Write down a plan . . . follow through.

Look, I wrote this before and I will write it again. You are not a kid and you are not a girl. When girls go crazy, the MAN put them back to balance. When a kid throws a tantrum, the MAN puts the kid back to place. You are the root. You are the Lion. You are the one who should be riding this horse steady and straight. However, you've been the most skittish character of this "play" so far. This is doing NOTHING for you.

Those are my sister's words and she said them to me because she wants me to give up, right? However, I did get an email from her friend saying, "I don't think it's a good idea if we go out on a date. I have a lot going on right now and I'm not looking for a relationship. I value our friendship very much and don't want to jeopordize it. I hope we can still hang out and mess with your sister!! See you soon!"

I responded saying, "I know, bad idea…my bad. And we’ll be cool cause last night we built up a supreme tolerance to awkwardness p.s. After 8 years, it’s understandable if your game is a little rusty, right?" (I emailed her back before I saw your post)

If she likes me, why did she email me saying she didn't want to go out? Think my sis convinced her it wouldn't work?

I never texted or called her today, think that played any role? She emailed me at 4.

How do I put her back into balance? What kind of plan should I have? I need some help/guidelines here cause I'll just dig myself a bigger hole.

Just stop... you're all over the place.

You're reading this but none of it is sinking in.

This girl still likes you. All she is waiting for you to do is stop behaving like a little girl and start behaving like a man.

She wants you to DEMONSTRATE this. Thus far all you have done is talked the talk and sent her emotionally taxing emails. DEMONSTRATE this.

And stop thinking about IF she likes you, how will it be for your sister...Blah blah blah. SHE STILL LIKES YOU- PERIOD. What she doesn't like is how you have BEHAVED.

All this thinking is doing you NO good because you're going up and down like an emotional yo-yo and it is FUCKING you up.

You send her a soppy email (you're down) she replies that she's flattered (you're up). She drops you in the friend zone (you're down)...What should you do, what should you do, what should you do....?

Just calm down, in fact don't even think. The moment the thought of this girl comes into your mind do something else. Do a few bench curls down the gym, go make yourself a sandwich. Do anything but think about this girl because it is doing you NO favours.

Relax have a good Christmas break. Then when you're finished relaxing, read the following thread. There's an excerpt by our friend Kasabi who has written what a guy might do if he's in the friend zone. You are THAT guy.


need-to-break-contact-without-seeming-l ... 58252.html

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Swerve,

Tweeby's probably right. Just take a break. Read my initial comment on your situation. You're doing it again . . (but most likely, YOU NEVER STOPPED)

"Does she like me? Does she hate me? Will she go out with me? etc, etc . . . "

NONE of these things matter. Imagine you're hanging out with James Bond or any other character(fictional or non) who the chicks seem to love.

What are the things they would tell you if you began talking about chicks? Can you imagine of these guys telling you anything remotely close to what you're telling us?, "Shit! Do you think she likes me but she's telling me something else? Does she hate me but she's just saying something else because of my sister?"

No . . . they just go, "Hey, see that girl over there? Give me 30 minutes . . . " And let's say it doesn't work . . . They just come back, smile, and say something like, "Hmm . . . Quite the spunky little girl . . . "

I have to apologize . . . While reading Tweeby's post, I've realized that I probably gave you too much information and got you too excited over the possibilities. I just felt that in terms of "logistics", everything is RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU . . . but I've failed to see that the most important part of the equation isn't there. YOU . . . Dude, you're not there. You're OUT THERE, thinking this, thinking that, changing minds, changing emotions, spilling your guts, holding your emotions in . . .

Forget this PU stuff for now. I agree with Tweeby . . . go kick start your life first. Find your position first. Right now, you're like a lost, inexperienced sailor on a boat with no compass, no charts, no plan, and no specific direction to which you'd like to travel. Any little wind kicks up and you're going, "Shit! Shit!, What now?"

Also . . . this might seem like it's coming from left field but I'm wondering . . . How much sugar do you think you consume in a week? Soft drinks, chocolate, candy, figure everything into the equation.

Ok, I'll take some time off from this and chill the fuck out. I'll take that OTHER girl out that I got a number off. I'll work out, hang out with my friends and family, and enjoy my Christmas.

Then, I will read that link you sent me Tweeby and I will revisit this, and try to start acting like a fucking man.

On a side note, do you guys know anything about Vin DiCarlo's Diclassified Drills Bootcamp. I already have read alot of his work and from what I know about it, the drills help you to change your thought and behavior patterns so that you start thinking and acting like a dominant man. It seems like I'm the perfect candidate for this.

Well, I have taken some time off from pursuing this girl. After she put me in the friend zone, we exchanged like 2 texts, completely unrelated to “us” and haven't been in contact with each other since. I have been trying to get my life back together. I've been making plans to move out of my parents house, planned a trip with some friends, hooked up with a couple girls that I gamed at bars (using the seduction knowledge I have recently learned), and I signed up for one of Vin's upcoming bootcamps. I have been trying not to think about this girl for the time being.

However, I'm still pretty embarrassed by my behavior and can't seem to shake these thoughts. I remind myself that this behavior (and your comments about it) helped me to realize what a weak and needy state I have been in, and this has prompted me to take action to get my life together. This helps my mindset but only to a certain degree. The email that I wrote her is particularly embarrassing. I really spilled my guts and wrote some pretty stupid stuff in there.

Anyway, if you guys could help me out with a few of the thoughts that I’ve been having, it would really help me get them out of my head. Here’s what I'm wondering.

1. Think of a girl that you had a HUGE crush on when you were younger. Imagine that you ran into her today and she was 400 pounds with 10 kids, what a disappointment! I feel like I’m the 400 pound women with 10 kids, like I've really disappointed this girl who had a HUGE crush on me. WHEN I really get my act together (I know I still have a ways to go), will she realize that I was just going through a really bad phase in my life (a divorce) and wasn't acting like my usual self? Will I be able to get the frame back that I once had (her dream guy)?

2. I've got to stop beating myself up about this e-mail. Give me something to help me get my mind off of this (but be honest of course).

Thanks for all the help guys!

p.s. I recently found out that she had a boyfriend at the time (and probably still does) when she agreed to go out with me after my sappy e-mail, so she had an easy out. The only thing that would make me doubt that she still likes me is the fact that I tried to escalate Kino (tried to briefly hold her hand a few times when she came over for the date) when she was showing signs of disinterest. Big mistake! If she really does still like me then her crush must run pretty deep. (Sorry Kasabi, James Bond wouldn’t dare think such things …….I need to make myself a WWJBD bracelet)

p.p.s. Great advice in that friend zone link Tweeby and Kasabi but I think it's best for me to keep my distance for a little while longer since I’m still not quite all there yet.

So what?

The other day, I was walking around Barnes and Nobles. After some careful inspection of the aisles, I ripped a fart that would make an 800lb gorilla proud. Within seconds, a pair of cute ladies walked by and kept on walking. I turned and saw both of them IMMEDIATELY bring their fingers to their nose.

So what?
So what?

You're a beautiful man . . . I mean that. You have a big heart. But you don't ALWAYS have to play "big brother". You don't always have to be strong, take care of your kid sister, and be there to entertain the young kids ALL THE TIME. Jeesh, do you really feel the need to improve your sister's friend's fantasy perception of you? Don't worry, your sister won't think any less of you. If you have always been the way you are now, your sister's a lucky girl.

Go out and get yourself some tail. And look into this:


The first time I saw this was about 30 years ago. The guy who led the session wore a white T-shirt but free-balled it for the bottom. Half the class was naked too. And they didn't sit down to laugh. They stood, jumping up and down for the "ho ho, haa haa . . ." (I can still remember those hairy fucking balls and penises just dangling and flapping about. Naked ladies jumping around however seemed less remarkable.)

I found a somewhat "scientific explaination".