Hi everyone

I'm a 19 year old History student in Southampton, UK. I'm looking, rather than than to act as a different person to pick up girls, to learn how to accentuate my natural personality to win over the best of them.

Over the past year or so I've been fairly successful with women without considering myself a pickup artist at all - I've slept with 8 girls. To put it in perspective, a good friend of mine, same age, is approaching 30 conquests now. However, he will shag anything whereas I tend to have higher standards (or so I tell myself ).

I'm 6'1, slim built and decent-looking enough to get with a fair amount of alright girls on looks alone. However - my sticking point is getting what I consider my good qualities across to girls without coming across as too deep too early and being friend-zoned - I'm fairly smart, a deep thinker, I read a lot, I want to be a writer - and I'm also a pretty good athlete. A man of contradictions, lol.

I tend to be fairly confident to approach, and can flirt easily enough. However, the attract part is the difficult part - demonstrating my value without being too high-brow to be considered anything other than a friend. It can be fairly frustrating!

I just started reading The Game yesterday and am already half-way through - and see a lot of potential in the Mystery Method for achieving my goals..

tl;dr version: I don't want to change my personailty drastically (well, maybe a little).... I want to change the way I present myself to get girls to like me for who I am, not for who I appear to be!

So hi all, prepare to have me squeeze you dry of tips!

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“There is an ecstasy that marks the summit of life, and beyond which life cannot rise. And such is the paradox of living, this ecstasy comes when one is most alive, and it comes as a complete forgetfulness that one is alive.”

you are definitely doing something wrong if girls will respond to your looks but you are still getting friended.

since you like to think, I'd say be analytical and after meeting X number of girls then reflect upon it think about how you behaved when it went well with a girl... and what you were doing when it went to the friend zone.

Surest way to get to the friend zone is to be boring and/or talk a lot about yourself (although if the girl likes you, she will look past you talking about yourself too much - but it is not really a good thing to do). But being boring is probably not your problem since flirting is easy for you. But getting kicked to the friend zone is definitely a sign you're doing something wrong, so find out what it is.

Just be yourself is always the best advice I say... but just remember that when you are hitting on a girl you would be showing a girl a different side of your personality than you would if you were chatting with a buddy. A lot of things I find fascinating and love to talk to my buddies about, make girls' eyes glaze over.

What you want to achieve is that the girl just wants to be around you, because of who you are...

Oh, one other thing. Another reason you might get friended is if you are not interacting with the girl enough... remember a girl's favourite topic of conversation is herself... hmm perhaps I should say her favorite object of conversation is herself...

thanks, duly noted. I think what happens is that I'll ask the girl a question - she'll reply..and then ask what I think back - and because I'm a thinker, my answer is fairly in depth..so I give the impression I am talking about myself too much when in fact I was the one asking questions.


To be honest, I haven't been properly friendzoned in over a year but I still have the problem of things going cold after one or two dates..

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“There is an ecstasy that marks the summit of life, and beyond which life cannot rise. And such is the paradox of living, this ecstasy comes when one is most alive, and it comes as a complete forgetfulness that one is alive.”

well there is serious (aka. boring) and there is fun... girls like to have fun. Get them smiling, laughing and giggling all the time. That is money in the bank. I guess you probably know this, but may not be sure how to do that consistently... well that is something you'd need to figure out on your own - or maybe there are pickup articles somewhere about that.

If you reply too in-depth, what's entertaining about that? I know cause I have this problem too (I go on and on.... talking to girls or guys, but only when I'm not in a great mood, like if I'm run down from too much drinking)

What you want is girls to be telling you "I always have so much fun with you" or "you always make me laugh"

now if you've been sleeping with these girls on these dates and things then went cold, that could be something else... )