I had 3-4 great dates with a guy - slept over at his place twice, had sex once, mostly dry humped. He faded - I thought he was nicer than this - he treated me like a gentleman would treat a lady, paid for everything, drove me places. What should I do now? I texted him and said I hoped he was feeling better (he had really bad allergies when I saw him last) and nothing.

First of all IMO you gave it up to soon...4 or 5 dates might seem like alot but trust me Its worth waiting until you are a "couple". You know why? because now you prob feel used and cheap? sounds harsh but its the truth and he might not have as much respect for you...it would have also meant alot more then just sex if you would have waited.

Any way what you should do is call him out on his bull shit...tell him you dont usually sleep with men that you dont intend on seeing and that you feel like he used you and now that he got what he wanted he has no need to hang out with you...he will says its not like that (any guy would) then ask him If you are just wasting your time or If he see's a future with you or not? If he says no or I dont know then say "Ok bye w.e we had is over" and end it...If he says he likes you then ask him to show it.

It simple men want you to be up front...dont play games just be honest and stick up for your self.

Welcome to the forum medicalqueen.

Me and my friends have a really simple saying we use to determine the proper course of action in everything in life. It consists of two words: "Act accordingly."

The problem here seems to stem from the fact that you wanted this guy to be your boyfriend, but you gave him no indication of that fact other than by sleeping with him (which, as it turns out, isn't a very strong indication at all, as women sleep with guys all the time for no reason other than wanting to sleep with them).

The easiest way to avoid this situation is to be 100% clear and upfront about your intentions from the getgo, which incidentally is the exact same advice I give to guys on here. That's right--I instruct guys who only want sex from a girl to make sure the girl knows this BEFORE any sex actually occurs.

Similarly, if you want a relationship you need to be clear that you're not interested in meaningless physical pleasures (although I would suggest giving meaningless physical pleasures a shot, cause they're pretty damn fun ).

So in the future, remember, the steps are 1) figure out what you want, then 2) act accordingly.

Hope this helps

Your boy,
870

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