BEHIND THE SCENES OF INTERATCION
Introduction:
In this post im going through the things which i see that are relevant to the interaction in a more deeper sense.
So without any further presentations, here we go!
1.We are human beings- ” Humans are bipedal primates beloning to the species homo sapiens ( Latin: ” wise man ” or ” knowing man ” ) in hominidae, the great ape family. They are the only surviving member of the genus homo.”
2.We have highly sophisticated brains due to evolution
- ”Humans have a highly developed brain, cabable of abstract reasoning, language, introspection and problem solving. Human brain is believed to be more ” intelligent ” in general than that of any other known species.”
3.Our brains create emotions via what we hear, see, smell, feel ( touch ) or imagine ( consciously or subconsciously )
- ” The human brain perceives the external world through the senses, and each individual human is influenced greatly by his or her experiences, leading to the subjective viewes of existence and the passage of time. Humans are variously said to posses consciousness, self- awareness and a mind which correspond roughly to the mental process of tought. The extend to which the mind constructs or experiences the outer world is a matter of debate.”
So basically when you are talking to a girl in a bar, her brains are processing information that she sees, hears and feels ( kino ). For example if you touch her innapropriately, she might feel scared or if you are talking something that wars against her perception of how she sees the world than it may disgust her and leave you standing there like an idiot. This leads into a fact that its not only the words that make her evaluate you, it goes far more deeper and this is the reason why a solid frame is very important when you first contanct your set. These factors are pretty much behind those judgements when they are evaluateing you whether spending time with you or not ( = they evaluate you through their senses )
4.The range of those emotions ( how hard these emotions affect us ) dependes on how strongly our brains construal this data that we usually hear, see and feel ( kino )
- If you send this ” data ” to her which matches with your behaviour ( eye sight ) and what you say to her ( hearing ), than you are one with your info that her brains are dealing with. For example lets assume that there are two identical guys ( ” two man theroy ” ) with the same physical traits. Now, the first guy is acting like a king ( he has very dominant essence, he has good bodylanguage, he reflects leardership qualities through his behaviour, etc. ) and decides to reveal that he is actually a king in his own country.
The second guy is also a king but aint acting like one meaning that he has a very poor bodylanguage ( looking down while speaking, keeping his hands crossed, poor posture etc. ) and above all this, he is talking like a mouse which naturally eats his value as a dominant guy. Now, at the end of the night he also decides to reveal that he is a king in his own country ( remember that these guys where identical from the outside so we can eliminate the physical factors away in the sense of her personal preferences ). What just happened?
Conclusion: Because the first guys behaviour matched with what he eventually told her, her brains wont rebell as hard as what the situation would be when dealing with the second guy. Now why is that?
Its because:
Behaviour ( eye sight )= words ( hearing )= Guy number one
Behaviour ( eye sight )≠ words ( hearing )= Guy number two
When you are one with your data through your behaviour, there is virtually no conflict inside her head compared to what it would be if my actions and storys where battleing to each other.
5.So basically you can affect how she feels when you are ” manipulateing ” the data which you are sending to her ( via talking, touching, and behaviour/ bodylanguage )
- For example you can make her happy by telling how beautifull she looks today or you can make her angry by saying that she looks like a bogeyman without her make up. You have the power within certain limits to affect her emotions. But because we all embrace our own values and personality traits through genes and the social circumstances ( such as the environmental factors ) its hard to find those specific magic words that would open every girls legs wide open.. Instead, what we can do, is that we can try to understand the basics of human personality which im about to ” expose ” through a theory. If you try to understand the ”key elements” of human personality, at the same time you are dealing with the basics that makes her what she is in a very deep sense ( Breaking her persona into pieces and searching those drivers behind those pieces ).
This is called the ” Big Five ” personality dimensions:
- Extraversion: This trait includes characteristics such as excitability, sociability, talkativeness, assertiveness and high amounts of emotional expressiveness.
- Agreeableness: This personality dimension includes attributes such as trust, altruism, kindness, affection, and other prosocial behaviours
- Conscientiousness: Common features of this dimension include high level of thoughtfulness, with good impulse control and goal- directed behaviours. Those high in conscientiousness tend to be organized and mindful of details
- Neuroticism: Individuals high in this trait tend to experience emotional istability, anxiety, moodienss, irritability and sadness
- Openess: This trait features characteristics such as imagination and insight and those high in this trait also tend to have a broad range of interests
Now, you might be wondering that do i really need to know these five big personality dimensions... Well, the thing is that emotions can be assosiated to our persona so if you truly want to grasp the concept behind all this than this may be at least worth reading through. Its nothing you ” have ” to learn but can benefit you to undersand the wheels behind other human beings. In this scenario it would be you idealistic woman.
When you see that her personality is based on five big factors ( extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openess,) this may help you to target your skills to those certain areas which could open up her persona more to you ( when you have tools to understand her persona, at the same time you can affect to her emotions because they create a mutual link which can lead to deeper attraction ) Now, for creating deeper connection, you can affect to those five things which basically stands behind those curtains of her personality. For example you can affect to her ” Openess ” by manipulateing ( her ) imagination, insight and interests. You can for example create positive futuristic images in her head by telling a story or implying something that would lead to it. On the other hand you can try to penetrate her outer shield and ask/ share things that are related to the way she sees the world ( insight ).
Insight= The derivation of a rule which links cause with effect. The mind is a model of the universe built up from insights.
Example of the big five:
Imagine that you are in a bar and a hot blond comes next to you to order a drink. Now, you see an opportunity and you open her but when you are trying to create a deeper connection after the fluff talk, she seems pretty uptight and not so emotionally expressive ( this can be related to the ” extraversion ” which was one of the big fives ). Now, when you realize that if she aint emotionally expressive, you can try to affect to those other four features like building up comfort which should lead to trust ( agreeableness ), talking about goals in life and building up futurisctic pictures through stories ( Conscientiousness and openess ) which should in the end have enough leverage to expose the last dimension ( extraversion ).
So all in all:
Big Five <=> Persona <=> emotions
6.When you ” manipulate” how she feels, at the same time you can affect how she acts
- For example when you tell your girl that she looks like a bogeyman, she might get angy and there fore act in the sense of those emotions. So basically what you are doing is that you are feeding her information that shocks her brain ( because its something that wars against her self image ), than that processed information is turned into emotions and finally those emotions can be turned into actions like throwing your computer through the window.
Basically what you say has an impact on how she may act in a future. With this said, its obvious that saying something that shocks her in some way can have a negative or positive outcome through her behaviour.
Emotions => actions
Conclusion- Few pointers to improve your game:
1.Be one with your information.
- With this i mean that create a solid frame around you by being one with your words through your behaviour. For example if you tell a girl this cool DHV story of you being a real apha male and than after your little storie holding her drinks because she wants to dance with her friend, i might ask you where is your value/ frame now mister cup holder?
2.You have the power to affect her emotions and through that how she will act
3.Entering one idea at a time in her head and building up that futuristic image stronger is more efficient than feeding multiple things at the same time
4.Imagination is more potent than knowledge when dealing with the mind of another; or stated thus: imagination of the subject is more potent than her knowledge.
5.Every thought or idea causes a physical reaction.
- Her thoughts ( or yours ) affect the various functions in her body. For example worry thoughts may bring on ulcers or frightful thoughts affect her pulse rate.
6.Take advantage of those emotions when they hit the top level ( Emotional hooking points )
- When you know that her emotions are hitting the top spot ( for example during/ quickly after the first kiss ) you can ask her to come back to your place. In this stage, her emotions are in its peack and thats the reason why its easier for her to accept your question and further more, you to ask it. This is better than asking her after the tension has felt down due to the fact that you two already made the first physical contact. When you are done with your first kiss, there is a high risk that the sexual tension between you two dissapears because it was something that made her and you to play the game. Now that you both have reached what you wanted, expecting that the attraction is mutual, this may cause a lowering level of energy in your interaction. Further more, if you stall your primary question ( F- close ) right into the end, there are usually awkward silent moments in your socialization because you are running low ammo. Moving further in the club than kissing and scrobble can be pretty hard in most cases also...
So why not benefit that emotional moment ? Just remember that if you do like i suggested here and she agrees, dont stop building up the the comfort/ rapport/ sexual tension because this still counts. You just sealed the deal in the best moment and nothing more!
Sources:
http://www.content4reprint.com/psycholo ... n-mind.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human
http://www.supersubconscious.com/self-h ... uman-mind/
[ Johnny B ]
CHAT