Guys, I need your help! I realised recently that I have a huge thing for my best friend! She and I have been friends for about 11 years and I think that I may be lodged deep in the FZ and with no way out. I'm not the most attractive person, but I'm quite funny and witty. I think there is something there between us and I want to explore it further but I dont wanna risk losing a good friend!

Plz help, this girl is all I can think about at the moment and its affecting me when I try with other girls!

Have you ever tried to escalate on her?

Remember that if you go after her, you're risking killing the relationship. Is it worth it?

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"Intelligence is nothing. Action is everything." -Tony Robbins

I suggest you take it very slow.. test the waters.. see her reaction if you escalate things. Since you've known her for so long, I'm sure you'll know the meaning of her mood or reactions. Just do it step by step or else you'll risk shocking her and losing that friendship.

Do things for her that you normally don't. make her feel a little more special than the usual. If you get a good reaction, you can continue and send her stronger signals.

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This is a perfect thread for me, because I've JUST done it myself. Hopefully my story will help you out..

I've no idea if I'm alone in this belief or if its widely-thought. Maybe I'm going to be hunted down by the more experienced on this board but here goes...

I personally don't believe in the friend-zone theory.. or at least not the way it's talked about. I think its a theory formed by guys and girls who haven't got the confidence to give it a go with someone they're friends with. They've made this little brick wall that they think they won't able to climb... I know this because I used to be in one.

But recently I decided to try and make something more of two long-standing close-friendships. Both endeavours turned out differently, but both were positive.

The first began a few months ago and resulted in me taking her to bed within a few days.. which isn't bad considering there had been NO sexual content to our friendship until that point. Nothing has happened since and our friendship is stronger if nothing else.

The other, I ended up "bedding" the night that I made the initial move. We went out clubbing and I just made everything in the conversation as flirty as possibly. I was bolshy and boisterous (which I am anyway, so nothing was out of character), she knows I have a sense of humour but I just pushed it so far that she knew I wasn't mucking around it. Then she invited me back to her place afterwards and one thing led to... everything else. Turns out she has had these thoughts about me for a long time and was delighted that I had made the initial move, finally.

We both knew that we weren't looking for a relationship but we've continued to have lots of "fun" since.. no strings attached.

So it's worked out well for me... BUT now to you. Are you looking just to have some fun or do you want something more serious. A few years ago I ended up getting into a relationship with my best friend of 3 years. We broke up 7 months later and we haven't spoken since. It was a good 3 years but now I've lost one of my best friends.

In my opinion, sex is OK between friends BUT relationships are tough in the long run.

But don't let the friend-zone stuff bother you too much.. if she wants it and you want it then there isn't a wall between you after all.

Best of luck with it... I'd love to hear how you get on.

V.

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Vince Wagner

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