So I'm in college and have a girl that I am just friends with. We spend lots of time together and are like best friends. Only platonic.

Well, when I would go out on dates or spend time with other girls, she gets really jealous. Then the other day, she told me that I was not allowed to have a steady girlfriend because it would mean we would spend less time together. I guess she doesn't like sharing or having to find someone else to hang out with if I am busy with a girlfriend.

Well, I thought she was just joking but she was serious. She didn't convey it in a threatening way, but in a humorous, vulnerable kind of way.

So whats her deal? Does she like me or are their girls that just jealous but it doesn't get deeper than that? She hasn't given me any indication of interest that she wants to be more than friends.

Sounds to me she's into you. Are you interested in her in that way? If so, go for it.

If not - talk to her and tell her she's overreacting and that you can't stay single all your life just so you can have time to spend with her.

yeah id be into it but dont want to ruin a good thing in terms of our group of friends. would really change the dynamic and there are other girls out there. but it would be worth the gamble if she gave me ANY indication of interest (other than the jealousy of course). i mean this girl DOES know how to use her sexuality and with me i just dont get that sense from her. my gut says shes just the selfish type, or like the other poster whos dealing with something similar.

any other opinions out there?

Yeah man, I would talk to her about it... It definitely sounds like she is into you and is just too afraid to tell you in case it ruined the friendship. You already know that you get along with her well if you spend all of this time with her, and if you can honestly say that you would like to be with her then why not give it a shot?

There is always going the physical way about it, just setup like watching a movie with her at your place and sit next to her and kino escalate the whole time and if she is receptive then continue, although this is more high risk, it also provides a greater return if she is receptive to it, it won't seem like a desicion that you made her make, but something that her body is telling her is soo right to do.

Good luck either way bro, and let us know what happened?

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But the truth is, you have to do a LOT of wading and searching and trial and error before you meet a quality girl. There are so many stupid, emotionally fucked up, manipulative, shallow, uncultured, uninteresting, retarded bitches out there.

thanks for the reply. not to be difficult but just trying to give you more info, i have asked her to hang out with me 1 on 1 either going out to dinner or hanging out at my apartment, but she either 1) invites other people so it turns into a group thing; or 2) declines. we do study together alone sometimes or have dinner together but its infrequent and is casual.

and the times when i do kino i get little, if anything, in response.

so if it werent for the jealousy, i would know for certain she wasnt interested in anything more. thats why i have been seeing other girls. this one is tuff nut to crack and shows how difficult the other species can be to read. sometimes i think they are confused themselves.

do you think it would be the best course to seriously date someone else and have her get jealous and make a move???

thanks!

bump

She doesn't necessarily sound like she is into you. She turns you down when you try kino and one on one hang out sessions- this is a big indication she isn't interested.

Like you said, you get the feeling she is selfish- maybe a little but I would think more so it is exactly what she said to you about if you get a girlfriend, you wouldnt be able to hang out as much wityh her. Look at it from this way- if you had a girlfriend who had a very very very close male friend (even though they were entirely platonic) would you not be slighlty jealous- wondering why is this guy closer to my girlfriend than I am? She knows that if you were toget a girlfriend, more often than not, the girlfriend would feel like this (women are very competitive with each other!) and she doesnt want to lose your friendship to another girl.

When someone is in a relationship and they start to really care about that person, they will want to spend more and more time with them and without realising it, may dog their other friends for their new partner who they are falling in love with.

It has happened to me before and I'm sure it has happende to A lot of other people out there too.

You could always set her up with another guy and go on your ways doing you own thing.

thats what I tell girls when I don't want to be with them, my guess is you have alot of fun with her but you think you could do better

you turned out to be exactly right. there was no attraction from her side.

I'm sorry to hear that - don't worry you will find an amazing girl one day who really cares about you.

she's sounds awfully selfish if she isn't attracted to you at all but she wants to forbid you from having a GF.

I had girls like this in my AFC days.

My theory is I was always kind of their silver medal or back up plan. They never liked any of the girls I hung out with/dated. They wanted me to be single, so that if they ever decided to 'settle' I would be available.

Essentially if your friends with girls long enough you become what Mystery calls an orbiter.

I've slept with all my single female friends now, and everything is fine. It was weird with one for like 3 weeks but thats it.

Good Luck,

B-Man