Hi all,

Quick bit of background - I am your textbook AFC, never been good with the fairer sex, and usually take home the dregs at the end of the night, if at all. On top of all that, I reckon I currently have a case of oneitis!

Anyway, my lack of success in the female department has started getting me down somewhat, so I've made it an (early) new year's resolution to turn it around! I've read some of the material out there, notably 'The Game' and 'The Mystery Method', but always been too chicken to actually get out into the field and see what I can do for fear of rejection.

So this girl at work...

I'd pitch her at 9. She's been working on my team for about 2 years now, and during that time we've become pretty good friends. Recently, there's been a lot of touching and hugging etc, so on the face of it, things seem to be going OK.

Anyway, I've made 2 decisions. The first is that I want to take this relationship further, and the second is that I'm going to start thinking about our interactions in terms of game, and use this as a practice case study (so I'm sure I'll be posting on here again!) If something happens between us then great, if it doesn't then at least I'll have learnt some lessons.

We both had an interview this morning for the same job on team, and most people expect either of us to get it. I was texting her last night to see how she was feeling about it all, and we had a nice little text conversation. In one of her messages, she was talking about the chances we had of getting the job, and she signed off by saying "you're better than me at interviews x"

Question number 1 then... does this mean anything at all in terms of our dynamic, or is it just a comment made by a friend trying to prep herself in case I get the role over her?

I asked her about her plans for the weekend, and it turns out she doesn't have any. I decided to invite her out (which was a massive step for me, I might add!). I said I need to go into town over the weekend and do some xmas shopping, and could do with a hand in picking something out for my sister. "You can join me if you like. I might even throw in lunch as a thank you!"

Question 2: Doesn't strike me as the best invitation in the world if I'm trying to game her - can't help but think that the offer of lunch is a DLV. What would have been a better approach?

As it stands, she came back with "Ooh I might take you up on that! Mines a happy meal!" Not a commited Yes! but not a flat rejection either I don't think. (she did break off the conversation after that with "I'm off to bed now etc.")

Onto to today then... we'd both been having pretty bad days. I went to speak to her this afternoon, sitting at a colleagues desk so there was a desk in between us. I held out my arms as if to say "do you want a hug?" She then asked me to go over to her and give her the hug. I thought about it for a moment, then went through the whole AFC thought process of a hug is probably better than no hug, so I jumped through her hoop and went over to her - another DLV.

Question 3: How could I have better coped (or coped at all!) with this hoop?

Finally, question 4: How do I follow up on my invitiation to take her shopping over the weekend?

Apologies for the lengthy post, but any feedback you have for me would be very much appreciated!

Thanks,
A very frustrated and lonely Godders

First of all, you are doing a good job! I will not recommend you do as they write in The Game or Mystery Method, it's somewhat outdated and you seem to want a relationship with this woman, so pretending to be Mystery won't work.

Answer to question one:
Its a good sign, not necessarily because she's preparing for you maybe getting the job over her, but because she wants you to say "Oh no sweety, I'm sure the executive team are going to take a long talk about us, I mean you're so good at.. Blah blah"

Answer to question two:
It's your approach, and it's great. A good friend of mine once said that that "Practice makes progress", and you my friend are making progress.
It was a fine opener and you just got to stick with it. If you get cold feet now you'll never get past the co-worker zone.

Answer to question three:
Sure in the pua books it was stupid. But in the relationship books it was good, it showed you're a loving and sweet person. What you could have done was meet in the middle or say next time, you move over to me or whatever.. Just to show you aren't a complete AFC, I mean after all you aren't in a relationship yet..
But it was decent of you.

Answer to question four:
Talk to her.
Call her up her up and say "So Christmas shopping on Saturday with me and a happy meal?" or whatever, but you have to get in touch with her and not let it slip. Because if you do let it slip, and she actually wants you - you'll never get in! It will make her lose hope and allow her to go find someone else. Remember women are just as shy as men when it comes to dating!

Final Words:
You have to sexually escalate if you want out of the co-worker zone! If you take her home for a movie one night at your place, sit and talk to her when its done and create a deep rapport, by that I mean ask her questions you wouldn't normally ask a coworker, and stir the conversation towards stuff like "On you entire body, what is your favorite place to be kissed?" and that stuff. Then you just massage her legs while talking. Start moving further and further up to her vagina and make hot.

Its pretty simple and like I said, practice makes progress. It'll take time but make sure you are committed in reaching your goal (In this case, her).

How outdated mystery is or not, I'd still recommend you to do the newbie drill and THEN interact with this chick at work. Man will it be different.

At least you're doing something about it, nice job.

But what will he gain from it? If godders want a relationship with this woman, studying Mystery's technique is like saying I want to learn how to swim - that's why I play golf. It doesn't add up.

If you insist on researching, I'd recommend you look for videos by David Wygant on youtube or Articles from Wayne "Juggler" Elise - AND read men are from mars, women are from venus. But I think you know what to do already, you just need to do it.