Before how people judged me mattered. I was confident, believed in myself, yet a single rejection might send me into a week of social isolation, or cause me to go home and throw something through my wall. I was truly an AFC.

Then I found the PU Arts. What they have done for me is not given me a laundry list of stupid lines to use on girls, but a new perspective on human social interaction in general. It is the study of social interaction on the field of experience. Rather than more generalized theories which focus on overall mating and dating rituals, peacocking, and Alpha-Beta, it focuses on whats happening in the moment.

Being in the moment, existing as you are, not worrying about the future, and having no expectations. Why are men who have lots of women called players? Because they are playing the game. The arena of social interaction is a game wherein one person is attempting to win the trust of the other person. For me, this is done because I want to know who the other person is, I want to experience them and I probably desire them, and therefore I also want them to experience me.

Seeing it as a game is everything. This was the death blow to my inner AFC and Beta qualities, and the moment I realized this, everything flowed smoothly and naturally. You can only be a player if you see it as a game, otherwise your taking it all to seriously, and its really not serious at all. At the same time, I dont advocate the "player image" since I believe in treating women with the respect that you yourself would want to receive and that the goal of social interaction is to find someone to share your life with.

In football things are taken on a play by play basis. You may study the opposing team, you may go over videos and talk about strategies, but what it comes down to is whats happening in the moment. Then the ball is snapped the quarterback is judging his surroundings, looking for the ideal player to throw the ball to. If you don't receive the ball, at most you may feel a temporary sense of a lost opportunity, maybe you were wide open, maybe you feel that you could have done better. However, when was the last time you saw a football player storm off the field in existential anguish over having not been chosen? Never.

Why?

Because in both football and in the game of social interaction, rejection is not personal. In football, the quarterback made a choice based on what he saw, the image of the field, not on his personal feelings towards one particular player. In the game of social interaction, when you are rejected, she is rejecting her idea of your image, not you, since she does not know you, therefore it should not be taken personally. It should be taken with a grain of salt, the only thought you should have is "That's to bad, that might have been something good" and you move on to the next play.

She is rejecting HER IDEA of your IMAGE. You are a complex, multifaceted being, and therefore there is no way to convey everything you are in your image, you can only project a limited aspect of yourself at any one time. Even if that image is congruent with how you feel internally, or with the kind of women you are trying to attract, it is only a part, and only an image.

Live in the moment, exist in the now, take things play by play. After all, the only ones who are players are those who are actually playing a game.

First you need to believe its a game. This is easy to do by observing first that there are clear rules to the game, things you do or do not do. At the most obvious level these are things that are considered "socially unacceptable". At the less obvious level, these are all the things that the PU Arts try to convey.

For example, those who play the game realize that Kino is important, but while Kino is the study of the effect of touch in social interaction, it really comes down to the more simple idea that you touch those who you want to trust you, and you do it in a way which ensures that they can.

It is socially unacceptable in most cases to walk up to a stranger and stick your hand in her pants, however you can actually open with a Kino placed gently on the shoulder while you make your initial greeting to a complete stranger. That's one strategy of one play in one game.

You must tell yourself continuously it is a game until you believe it. If you don't believe, just look at how the PU Arts are conveyed. The game is the overall relationship you have with women in general, this is football. Each time you play a football game, its a game with a women in specific. And each step in winning her trust is a play.

If you still dont believe, look at those who are defined as Alpha males. They appear happy, relaxed, in their element. Its because they are playing. Sure, sports players often look intense, angry, what have you, but the best are existing in a serene inner space, they are putting forth great effort however they are not thinking about it, they are just existing in the game, and they are playing, like children play.

Does a woman want a man who can't play? What kind of life would he lead her into? A life of misery and expectations, of boredom and routine, of well defined rules and laws. She wants to be taken seriously, but she also wants a good life, and a good life is one that is enjoyed, and people are manifestly happiest when they are playing.

This is of course different from fulfillment, which comes from a sense of purpose in the universe and having accomplished that purpose. Yet the accomplishment of purpose is the arena wherein being serious is expected and, again, this is also an attractive quality to a woman. A man who knows his Will and is seeking to define it in the universe. He is a potent force and he moves without hindrance to achieve the goal of his vision of a life fulfilled.

Humans choose to play many games. For example, politics is a game of power. Whether we are talking about politicians or office politics, and its a game we choose to play. Those who are successful play and while they risk losing something, they will certainly gain nothing by standing around on the sidelines.

For all the AFC's out there, and all the Betas you need to realize this: You have nothing to lose because at the end of the night, if you do nothing, you will have lost it anyways. You already have lost it if you paralyze yourself into indecision.

Have you ever seen a football player freeze in the middle of a play with a confused look on his face? If you have, you probably watched him get pulled off the field in the next moment.

So, you need to get used to the idea that this is a game, and then get into a playful attitude. If you can, try to laugh at yourself and the absurdity of being afraid to talk to another human being. Laugh at your own AFC image and you destroy it, because you no longer take it seriously. Your one step closer to being in the game rather than on the sidelines.

One way to achieve the vision that this is all a game is to learn all the theory of the PUA, then go to a bar and sit there like you always have, assuming your a AFC or rAFC.

Choose a spot in the bar where you can watch the other patrons discreetly and just observe them. Each guy talking to each girl is playing a game, watch them play. Watch each play as it unfolds, as the ball is passed back and forth. Observe how many games are going on, how many plays are being made. Watch as people take each other home, and as guys are left standing alone after not making an f-close.

Doing this you can see that everyone is playing a game, they seem to be doing fine. Sure, they have feelings, but is anyone judging them for winning or failing in the game? No, nobody actually cares, they are involved in what they are doing. Unless you do something extreme, do you think any of those women will remember the guy who doesn't make a #close or a *close in a week?

Or do you really think women are such horrible creatures that they are going to judge you into eternal damnation for not being Rico Suave?

You deserve to play the game, all humans do, its fun, and its what we do as social creatures.

Continue on these lines of thoughts and on this meditation until you believe, through actually seeing it, that it really is a game and it really doesn't matter. There are hundreds of bars in most cities, thousands in the country, millions of women, and literally tens of thousands of opportunities to work on your game. That is, if you are up to being a player in it.

It doesn't matter if you aren't perfect at first. Only the insane believe they are going to be perfect at something the first time they do it. It is believed that a person is a Master at something once they have practiced for 10,000 hours, which is the equivalent of 28 solid years of doing something.

You think women don't feel the same anxiety, the same insecurity as men? That because they are pretty and men want them that somehow its easier for them? Look at all the theories about the HB10 constantly needing verification of her sexuality! This would indicate that the hottest ones are the most insecure, and in reality this is backed up by the fact that many women are "hot" they just don't go to the extremes of makeup, dress, and style that the HB10 goes to for whatever reason. This is proved by the transformation someone can undergo during a makeover.

They want to play with you just like you want to play with them.

well done..! well written..!
thank you.

_________________
smile.. its all good

really well writen, and helpful, thanks a lot mindwrap and it opens a new way to overcome some inner game issues.

I think that's the main problem of an AFC, taking everything too serious, then becomes needy and stuff like that for the fear of losing what's really important in his/her mind.

Somehow everything flows better if you dont care too much about something, the best thing to do is to actually enjoy whatever is going on around you and be part of the game.

It's fun to watch it, but it's a lot more fun to actually play it.

Thanks for the post.

Very well written, really spoke to me. i am finaly starting to figure this game out

Great posts.... bump

So that's why I was never good at football..