Do you sometimes see a movie, and you think to yourself...that guy in that movie is sooo cool. I want to be just like him. And than, you start to behave like him in one way or another?

Or do you think about things when you are alone and you think to yourself, how great it would be if you would be that cool guy that everyone admired?

Do you maybe secretly harbor thoughts of superiority over other guys who have the success that you envy them?


Well, there is much more to it. But generaly, what this all means is, you havent found your way in this world yet, and you are outside oriented on what should you do, you are confused about what should you say or do or how to behave or how to act.

And like that is not bad enough, you dont have the ability to attract any woman in your life unless you use techniques, manipulate, lie, get them drunk or catch those skanky hoes that are sometimes reffered as "party girls". You feelin` me right

So whats going on here?

Well, your confusions and fantasies of perfect, ideal world, turn into your inability to attract women because, women dont feel safe and secure with you. They feel like youre this creepy guy who is trying to get something from her.

And what do you do? You go, tired of rejection and inability to attract women, buy books on how to meet women, go to dating seminars and boot camps. And than you struggle with material, learning pick-up lines-hoping this will get you into bed with that hot chick that you saw in playboy last month.

How do you really solve the problem of attracting women?

Well, you maybe heard me post some post on what it means to be a real man and some guidance on how.

But Im gonna give you a quick fix, a quick answer.

The way you solve your problem with the ladies is, you sit with a pen and a paper and you start to be honest with yourself. You writte down where you are in your life, wich bad habbits do you have and you write what you would want to be, where would you want to be.

You write what you will take in your life and what you wount, you write down your values and belifs, what you believe is right and what you believe is wrong.

You create an identity of yourself and than you commit yourself to make something out of yourself.

So basicly, in a nutshell, you become attractive when you take the journey of your life in your controll. When you start to focus on what you want out of your life, you start to be incredibly more attractive.

When you find your "path" and you know where do you want to go, you instantly get an explosion of power in you that makes you more "sexy"

Why?

Because when you know what you want in your life, when you know who you are, than you begin to be in controll of your choices. And controll of yourself is one of the most attractive things to women.


So what am I trying to explain. Im trying to explain something that it took me a looong time to figure out- when you become CLEAR about what you want, chick love you.

Im trying to say, that no matter how many pick up lines you know, how many new "tricks" or openers you know, if you dont have your life "together" you are losing your time.

Mystery cant help you, stealth attraction cant help you, adam cant help you, no moderator in this forum and I cant help you.

IF you want to become good with girls, if you want girls to love you for who you are as a person, start focusing on your life and what you want out of your life.

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Thank you.

thanks for the post. It really caught my attention
I just wonder..
If i had all my shit together and i identified being good with women (whatever that means to you/us) is a highly desirable goal.. than all those things that you said cant help me, will help me.. but only after i figure my shit out?
I think someone who hasnt figured thier shit out, but still wants girls, or whatever, will still benefit from those things you mentioned (pickup or whatev). and having your 'stuff' figured out will definately help you out in getting girls or whatev. but having all your inner shit sorted out, while nice, isnt necessarily a prerequisite.
its really f'ing hard to sort all your personal shit out.. bordering impossible. anyone who tells you they have it all figured out is full of shit.
in reality, pick up, and the confidence and skills that come with getting better at it, helped me figure out my some of that inner stuff a little better than i was able to before. so, in a way, it worked backwards. that confidence and the practice of taking a long hard look at my beliefs about myself and others was a huge spring board for my own personal growth.Yeah, i probably shouldnt base my selfworth on how well i can get random attractive ppl to like me. still.. there are worse goals to have.
so, what im trying to say is... i totally agree with you 100%, but disagree with your conclusions. also, i just dont like when ppl cheapen pickup by describing it as tricks and lines and stuff and pretend they are better than all that. cuz the best of the best pickup ppl ALL started by doing that crap. and sometimes having something canned to stack foward with is all you need to keep you fun and interestnig and keeping the good times going.

*for the record, i dont mean to be rude, and i really do appreciate and respect your thoughts and that you posted them for us. also, I DEF DO NOT have my shit together and I totally suck at pickup

I dont know man.. I think henry ford said it "if you think you can or you cant, eighter way you are right"

Becoming a man is not inevitable. It has to be invoked. So when you go on your journey to become good with girls and start using your techniques it kind of starts that process in you. It did for me.

At the end, when I could approach any girl I wanted and have a conversation with her, had the confidence and the right "lines"... But I felt like something is missing.

I didnt want to use tricks anymore, it didnt feel right. I wanted this all to come out of my strong masculinity. Not out of my head.

So the real progress I made, when I sat in a room and asked myself a question: What do I REALLY want?


And when I figured that out, I started focusing on only that things. I started thinking on how can I make this happen for me.

Strange thing happened. Girls were approaching me. When I saw a girl that I liked, I stepped up to her with no AA and started conversation with total composure.

And the response was amazing. Girls could see on me, that I am the one who is choosing. They were actually nervous because they didnt want to screw their chances.

Why?

Because *FINALLY* they met a guy who has that what they were looking for and what they are all telling us that they are looking for.. They found a guy who knows what he WANTS.

Do I regret my years learning PUA? No. However, if somebody would tell me in the beginning.. what kind of life do you want? I would have advanced much faster.

Its OK to learn techniques, lines and "tricks" to have some fun.

But if you start depending on them, you are missing your life big time.

I can see you are a inteligent guy. So start using your integlligence to first, figure out what you want and than second, to come up with creative ways to make that happen for you.

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You can try it here Here: New AA Cure

Thanks a lot for that man that makes a lot of sense. Maybe no one has Everything figured out but it seems like people who know where they are going, always know what they're doing and are constantly focusing on bettering themselves seem a lot happier or at least more content than people who don't including me. I'll definitely take some time to do that i mean if anything it can't hurt.

Inspiring

good stuff! =)

We dont FIND ourselves. We CREATE ourselves.

Fuckin awesome, I commend you for reminding me of something I've read 4 years ago in the works of Napoleon Hill and have come accross many times in literature/ self improvement but still haven't found out what my true self is.

I have no doubt that if I were to roam the desert alone, sail accross the earth by myself or be locked in solitary confinement for a month, everything about who I am would become clear to me. The closest thing I can come to that would be keeping a self discovery journal with be, and just go sit for hours outside in nature alone and work on breaking down the barrier between me and myself.

One question for OP tho, how does one deal with nihilistic beliefs when defining themself? I know that I can choose my own fate but still am not absolutely certain of anything; I control how I respond to my environment, but have no absolute beliefs about what by life is/will be. Also I have no moral belief system at all, nothing is good or bad. I do have many unique underlying values that influence my actions though which are worth discovering more about. But I never been sure what my true person is, or if my self percieved values are just something I use to justify myself by. Any insight is appreciated.

_________________

When you stop thinking about who you are, you become yourself.

My personal way out of nihilism has been Zen/Buddhism for the last several months. One of the basic "lessons" i learned (of which there were many) was that, intellect is only a subset of mind. It is a tool that must be set down when it is not useful.

Nihilist beliefs are a product of intellect, and hence are only a subset of a subset. They are not important for being who you are. If you call yourself nihilistic, its like calling an apple red. Of course, an apple can be red and green at the same time, on different sides. Or, it could not. But what, then, is the apple?

I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of " Gateless Barrier: Zen Comments on the Mumonkan " by Zenkai Shibayama (just type it into Amazon exactly like that without the quotes). Any further explanation by me would be counterproductive. I'm afraid I have already said too much.

Then just do it.

sweet post

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really good post.
really helpful man, thanks

Thank you very much.

Just in addition to what you guys were saying about never being in control or knowing exactly what you want, at the end we are human beings, what makes us unique is our intellect, we are in constant change, if you sit down right know and think of what you want, have no doubt, you will be 100% right, but in 2 years you do it again and it will be completely different to what you want right now, doesn't mean that you were wrong at this particular time, it just means that you evolved and your priorities chaged. I will definitely do this exercise, and I will probably go back and do it in a later time, why? Because by that time and with the commitment necessary we probably have achieved what we desired at this time, and will move on to the next goal.