I need some advice [apologize for the long write-up, wanted to give some perspective on the situation]. I met two girls a month or two ago while out one night (we will call them Girl A and Girl B). We hit it off, graduated from the same college, live a block from each other, I played it CF all night since that is naturally how I am, yada yada yada. Bottom line was I was interested in Girl A but ended up getting stuck talking to Girl B all night. I played things pretty reserved since I had no interest in Girl B despite the fact that we got along. At the end of the night, Girl B ended up going out of her way to give me her number before I left and stressed that we needed to hang out again. Only reason I was happy with this was because it was my only way to get in touch with Girl A again.

I ended up trying to get Girl B out (with Girl A of course) on 4 different occasions over the span of 1-2 months.

Attempt 1: I shot Girl B a text message letting her know I was going to a bar down the street from us with some friends and told her that she and Girl A (her room mate) should meet up with us. I got a very brief response only stating "Out in "XYZ" (XYZ being a different part of the city which wasn't worth going out of my way to get to given that her friend wasn't THAT hot plus the fact that I got a crap/non interested vibe/response).

Attempt 2: Same invitation as Attempt 1. She let me know she would be out with her girlfriends that night around the same spot for one of their birthdays and that we should join... later that night I followed up and got a similar response to attempt 1 that kind of indicated she had no interest in meeting up.

Attempt 3: Some similar invitation and I either got no response or another crap response..

I usually don't bother following up after this especially if I haven't had the girl indicate any interest beyond a basic response [in looking back at this, I never called her and was only communicating via text message so its not like I ever indicated real interest]. I was going to play the whole "I'm a little disappointed we haven't hung out yet given that we really hit it off, so I am going to give you one more chance"... but instead played it low key and just shot her a message this past weekend indicating that I was having a bunch of people over at my place [which I was] before going out and she and her friends should come join..... This time I got absolutely no response, but was not surprised and really didn't care.

That was a week ago.... I ended up getting a text message from her last night saying that she was sorry she hadn't responded in a bit... her schedule has been nuts .. yada yada.. how was I doing?

A) Anyone have an explanation for this? I thought she was just not interested which is absolutely fine.. but I am obviously getting some response possibly indicating otherwise. (am I wasting my time?)
B) How should I respond?
My initial reaction is to play it one of the following ways
A "no worries, you are just going to have to make it up to me" sort of response
or A "I am a little surprised, I expected this from Girl A but not from you" CF sort of way...
C) How the heck can I play this and still try to get to Girl A? This is the only contact I have and obviously have little, if anything, to work with.

A) From what I've heard, it seems like you're playing it pretty cool so far, which is good. Any speculation on an explanation of her behavior is probably just going to drive you nuts, so don't worry about that. The only thing you judge a girl on is her actions anyways.

B) So, she's been giving you crappy (or no) responses, but on the plus side, she finally texted you back. Did she suggest that you guys hang out? If not, it sounds like a dwindling relationship. I would give her one more chance to meet you somewhere, and then cut her off. If she wants to get a hold of you, she has your number. As far as what exactly you should say, I think both of those suggestions are fine.

C) I think girl A is pretty much out of the picture. It's too bad that you ended up talking to girl B the whole night, because both girls think you're interested in girl B, and girl A may have given up because you're girl B's property now. Who knows… I know you say that you didn't convey interest to girl B, but if you were talking to her all night, you're conveying interest, IMO.

So, sorry to say, I think you only have a chance with girl B right now, and that's if she even gets back to you.

And the whole, "I've been too busy to text you back" routine is complete bullsh*t. I feel for ya, that always gets my goat…or is it goad? Regardless, if a girl likes you, she responds via text when she gets it, and no one goes without their phone for a few hours (at max, a day, outside of extenuating circumstances). So when a girl doesn't get back to me after a day, she's done.

Best of luck, and let us know if anything happens!

Thanks for the response. Definitely agree with you on all 3 points.

I played things very poorly initially so it was definitely my fault. Should have just tried closing on Girl A's number as well since I think I could have still gotten away with it. Didn't try since I thought I had the package deal locked up after having gotten Girl B's info.

Try do draw some experience from this.
Dont be afraid to stop talking to someone.
There are many ways to end of convo in a nice way.

A couple of years ago I worked at a callcenter, and since the idea
of being effective demands you dont "waste time" when a problem is solved we
had to end conversations politly without to much small talk.

Standard line:
"Is there something else I can help you with?"
- "No, not really"
"Well, have nice day then and take care. Bye"

If you wanne end a conversation use your bodylanguage to show that you need to go. And say: "There is a lot of people her tonight I wanne catch up with so, if you dont mind..."

_________________
Vino, vedi, vici.
I drank some wine, I saw her, I conquered

I completely agree with Energy_, I just wanted to add one point about life in general. If you want something, go for it. If you want to talk to some girl at a party, go and talk to her. That's the reason many people get in to the community. We want to do something about our social lives, and we're actually DOING something about it. Life is too short to second guess yourself, and miss out on any opportunities.

I think girl A is out of the picture. I would not mention it to girl B; she'll definitely get the hint and it's probably not the first time. I mean imagine if you were interested in a girl and she called you up asking about your friend constantly. That would suck.

But the good thing is this girl is a bartender. You're talking major social proof right there. Even if you're not interested you should have her meet up with you or maybe even go a little "out of your way" to be where she's at. Don't ask about her friend and keep Girl B close.

If she's a bartender there's a good chance that she goes to these places because she has higher status there, meaning free drinks. She can introduce you to other people at work at these places as well.

Good job getting her to close you. Take it as a learning experience. Sometimes you can overshoot your game on the wrong girl and you will get stuck in the "set to nowhere."

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


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