Pretty simple question, but I'm curious:

I've been going out with an HB8.5 for less than a week who has thrown out tons of IOIs and has made her interest clear. I have DHV'd a lot, but I've also thrown a bunch of IOIs in.

We were kissing today and after I pulled away, she said she was confused. She said she's only known me for less than a week, but it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I cut the thread and moved on.

Out of general curiosity, what's going on in her head? I think she's either 1. afraid I'm using her 2. afraid I have to much value for her. Either way, I'm just going to IOI and push the relationship forward, but I would like to know which it is, OR if I'm way off base and should IOD.

Bookworm,

Sounds like you have some solid attraction built based on the IOIs and that sort of thing. If she is concerned about you using her for sex or that sort of thing then you need to slow things down and go back to building comfort before escalating things physically again. Kissing is still okay.

You need to have dates where you aren't trying to continually escalate things to kissing or towards sex. This will allow her to relax some. Just try to have some good clean fun and seriously make an effort to know more about her. A few of these dates will get you back in good status and get her out of that mindset.

If you try to plow through this and give her indicators of disinterest (IODs) then she is going to figure that you were using her for sex. Now that she's made it clear she wants to slow things down. You are showing signs now that you're not interested. She'll assume she was right all along about you wanting her for that purpose and that'll be the end of it.

~Jon