Girl from college - help needed (kinda urgent)



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PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 3:07 am 
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There is this girl from college, whom I've known for 2 or 3 months. We've met in a language course.
After that we've gonne out two times. First, to grab something to eat, and the second time to a bar. Both times were during the day, in a very casual manner.
This week she sends me a message that there would be a party on campus, if I wanted to come and that I could crash at her place (so I wouldn't have to drive back if I was drunk).
I go to the party with a friend, and we meet the girl just outside the party really drunk. She uses a lot of kino, and she keeps saying I should crash at her place and she even tries to give me the keys to her house. I tell her I'm not gonna drink and I will be fine driving back. I invite her to get in the party, she says she is not feeling well and wants to go home. Then I decide to take her home, since she is really drunk.
On the way to my car I grab her hands and then we walk side-by-side arms-crossed. Then she starts saying things like:
"If I knew you were coming I wouldn't have drunk so much..."
"I don't want you to think I'm always like that... I'm usually very charming"
"I wanted to take you out, but I wanted it to be nice, not like this..."
Clearly, she was really drunk, but I took them as IOIs.
Halfway to her house she asks me to stop the car, steps out and throws up. I let her finish and go help her clean up. She feels really embarassed, almost crying.
I hug her and say it is ok. we hug for a minute and I give her lil kisses on the neck.
On the way home she keeps holding my hand and when we stop I kiss her (not exactly on the mouth, since she had thrown up, but on the face) and we say good bye. I send her a message saying goodnight, and that I hope she feels better.
Next morning 8am, she sends a long msg thanking me, saying she is sorry, she feels really bad and hopes she can make it up to me.
I reply when I wake up (around 1pm) that she should not feel bad and say we should do something on the weekend.
She never answered, it's been 2days.
What do I do next? Since she didn't respond my last msg, I'm kind of thinking I did not handle the situation appropriately so far. Anyways, I'm not really sure about where I stand right now and what I should do next.
So, I was thinking I could send her a msg tomorrow (friday) afternoon saying I want to see her, and propose we go to a bar or to the cinema. I'm not sure this is the best way to go about it though.
Any suggestion is welcome!!


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 6:32 pm 
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If I'm reading this correctly she is probably getting the vibe you don't care much. She was obviously throwing herself at you before the party "you can stay at my house" is a huge IOI. When she got drunk she reacted on those feelings more aggressively. You seemed very respectable in the situation and it's not really game field when the girl is that drunk... it's rape. I'm glad you didn't take advantage and I would propose she is seeing very high value of you right now. Possibly so high that when she texted you this elaborate story saying how thankful she was and you replied with a short message saying "she should not feel bad and say we should do something on the weekend." It is almost out of pity you ask her to hangout again and she is probably still really embarrassed. Personally if it's been a couple days and you made a broad statement saying "the weekend" you do have the possibility to call with DEFINITE plans. Call her up and say so I'm going to let you make it up to me by letting me kick your butt in pool this saturday... (substitute the activity with your and hers interests). I don't see any reason to play it off as your not asking her out because she seems to have high interest in you. Good luck bro!


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 3:43 pm 
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any updates on this situation? i want to know how it turns out for you


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:07 am 
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Quote:
she is probably getting the vibe you don't care much
Mortal, Thanks for the comment. I guess you are right. My text was too short and too broad. It made it seem like I didn't care much.
So this what I did next:
I sent her a message saying I would really like to hang out, and that I was going to a bar with a group of friends, asking if she wanted to come. She apologized for not answering the last msg, she said that she was out of town (she had gonne home to visit her family), that it was too bad we couldn't meet up, and asking if I wanted to go for drink/lunch/party/whatever next week.
I'm thinking I might have already screwed this up. Allright, she wants to do something next week, but on the other hand she was not very precise about it and she hadn't answered my first message (and maybe, just maybe, she was lying about beeing out of town). Also, that conversation was friday and I still haven't heard from her. I don't want to call her up again and get turned down for the 3rd time. Besides, that might seem kind of needy if I go after her again.
Anyways, I'm guessing I need to make the right moves now if I still want the girl.
There is a party tomorrow, and I'm not sure if I should invite her or just hope to meet her by chance in the case she goes on her own.
any comments are always helpful. thanks all


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:37 pm 
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It might be a lost cause but not due to your fault.I would recommend just leaving it for now and she may just feel really embarassed as she was that drunk. Let things go for now and see what happens. Go out and get more numbers :)


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