I thought I got over my oneitis...

As it turned out, me falling "inlove" has dissipated, but the obsession of getting this one girl... is still there. It seems as if it's grOWING.

I still wanna make this work. (I'm willing to take some even worse risks).

After trying to escalate kino, hugging her, she still wouldn't give IOIs. I got desperate and asked her out. (She turned my down TWICE). The more she did that, the more I got turned on.

Fast forward....

One day, I asked her, "hey, do you mind if I call you later?"

Usually, when I ask her that, her response is usually an immediate "I don't care. I'm probably gonna be busy though"

Now... since she's getting turned off by my obsession towards her... her response changed....

For 3 seconds, she pondered with a concentrated and confused gaze in her eyes... and then she finally said. "I dunno, I'm gonna be busy..."

Keyword. DUNNO.

Nevertheless.... I ignored it.

That day, I called her 6 TIMES!! left her a voice message....

and she didn't call back....

The next morning...

I saw her. I talked to her. I said "HEY! I called you like 6 times. You didn't even return my call."

She said. "well, I told you I was gonna be busy."

I said. "Well, it's not because you're ignoring me. RIGHT??" (Yup, I couldn't help but ask for her approval. This happened to me alot when I'm with her.)

SHe said, "No!" (she was walking away, her back COMPLETELY turned on me, and she didn't even look back. Obvious IOD)

I thought "sweet, everything is okay. she's not pissed..."

Lunch time (for those of you who don't know, I'm 18, senior in high school, and Victoria is a sophomore.)

One of my friends Michelle, talked to me. She said something like "Hey Brian, Victoria talked to me and she said blah blah blah, stop calling her, she doesn't wanna be with you, she doesn't want you calling her and talking to her. Leave her alone."

You know what sucks? Michelle is my best friend's girlfriend. My best friend Kyle, was there when Michelle told me the entire thing. I was HUMILIATED and pissed. I was pissed with the fact that Victoria have been spreading the news about her "potential stalker". Why couldn't she just say it straight to my face and tell me to FUCK OFF??? Why involve any of my friends with it? Michelle has practically lost her respect for me... Maybe Kyle too....

I confronted Victoria in our 5th period class after lunch. I said "Hey! What the hell did you say to Michelle?!"

...without saying a word... her head leaned back, her face got darker, and then walked away... (Her face seemed as if it's saying "Don't be ridiculous Brian. You already know everthing. I don't need to tell you. Just face it. You're not my type and you better leave me alone.)

Ahhh.....

This has gotten BAD....

Fast forward... after apologizing to her twice during 5th period with my sincerest facial expression, we were now in my 6th period class (last class of the day). I turned around, and for the third time, I apologized for creeping her out... and then I asked the question... "What exactly did you tell Michelle?" She said "Everything"

And then......





Something happened that gave me HOPE...

I said. "Are you gonna be ignoring me from now on?"

She said, "for awhile"

KEYWORD: AWHILE

And then I said "It's not gonna be forever right?"

She said "No."






Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

GUYS, IN YOUR EXPERT TESTIMONIES.... IS THIS SITUATION COMPLETELY HOPELESS????? OR IS THERE STILL A SPARK OF HOPE THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, I COULD DEVELOP SOME FRIENDSHIP TOWARDS HER?

WHEN SHE SAID "FOR AWHILE" HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE FOR HER TO BE "UNCREEPED"???? WHEN SHOULD I START TALKING TO HER AGAIN?????

Thanks.

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There's only one way under high heaven to make anybody do anything... Yes, just one way. That is, by making the other person wanna do it!

You're coming off as way, WAY too needy bro. You will never, ever get a girl like that.

I'd say chances of dating her is about zero.

Friendship is always a possibility, IF you make the decision to genuinely be a friend and not be an orbiter. An orbiter is a guy that hangs out with a girl and pretends to be a friend hoping that it will turn into something more.

Best advice I can give you is just to let it go, leave her alone. And never call a girl six times in one day...it will creep her out. I know that you want her to tell you straight up that it creeps her out, but she tried to be nice about it.

Judge people by their actions, not by their words. Actions speak louder than words is very true...if she wanted to talk to you, she would have answered the phone or called you back after the first call.

She is not interested, don't worry about it. LOTS of girls out there. Live it up, don't stress over her.

Current update with this chick....

First off, thanks for the advice.

My original plan was to leave her alone for 3 weeks, let her forget everything that has happened, and then game her again... I know, I'm crazy.

Here's what happened yesterday... Everything seemed normal again. She's not ignoring me...

Good...

And then for the first time in my life, I actually felt comfortable being around her! No more pressure. She already knows what I feel about her. Right after school, I started doing my kino again while we were walking again. One thing I noticed is that this girl, although an extremely social dominant person in groups (she can get lots of attention easily) is weak in one-on-one conversations. I was practically manhandling her the entire time.

Another thing that I noticed is that she's afraid of confrontations. Yesterday, I said, "hey Victoria, listen up. If you want me to leave you alone, say it straight to my face. DO NOT involve any of my friends with this. Okay?" Even though I said that with a normal tone of voice, she thought I was yelling at her. She said "Okay, take it easy."

After that...... I just minded my own business. Talked to other people... And then one of my close friends Jesse, who pretty knows exactly how obsessed I am with this chick, sat next to her. We have guitar lessons class and the two were practicing. I looked at Jesse and said "Hey Jesse, what the hell are you doing?!" He said, "What? I'm just sitting down." And then Victoria said, "What? He's my boyfriend." (Complete BS. Victoria is currently single. She's just messing with my head) I looked at Victoria funny for 3 seconds and said "Shut up".

She smiled afterwards.

And then I thought "Damn, this girl is actually playing with this thing. I'm acting as if I'm her possessive boyfriend and then she made me jealous. This ain't over yet."

Fast forward...

Hallway, I asked for a hug. This time, she didn't give it. (No surprise after looking super-needy) I didn't care. While we were in the hallway, I talked to her...

And just as usual, when it's just the two of us, I manhandle her. It sucks when we're in groups. She's an alpha-female (Heck if she wanted some dick, she has like a dozen boys to call on her phone. But no, she's not a slut. Thankfully.)

As I was talking to her, I just randomly wrapped my arms around her while we were walking and then started kinoing again. Poking her face, that stuff (I don't even know if that's considered kino)

And then I apologized for creeping her out and such... And then she said it's okay, that she was just being a bitch on that particular day.

(To be continued. I don't have much time.)

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There's only one way under high heaven to make anybody do anything... Yes, just one way. That is, by making the other person wanna do it!

Dude, you will never, ever get that girl. It's totally hopeless. Whatever it is you think she has is not worth all that drama you're bringing to the situation. You need to stop playing with her in your mind. Do both her and you a favor and leave her alone. The first skill you need to acquire is self-control.

You're crazy and need professional help

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

I don't see how you can see hope after all this.

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Sorry for my english mistakes.

Ok, I would go the other way to everyone else (because I'm awkward like that) but this woman is not unattainable to you, going to try and give a little walkthrough for you and everyone else in this boat to get through this kind of situation...

1) And I say this with all urgency, You need to chill the F out man. No woman is worth going to the looney bin (or worse). You come off as very needy, you know it and she knows it. You know how animals can smell fear? Women can smell neediness.

2) You're pissed at a woman for not telling you how she feels? Wow, that's like being annoyed at a politician for lying. Also, being 18, you're in high school, maybe college, this is how your peers act at this point, people tell you not to worry about what others think of you, but you should. There's something to be said for standing out, but do it in a good way, you know? Less of the psycho killer vibe, more of the fun and respected individual vibe.

3) Stop saying sorry. Never apologise. If you're sorry, fix it, if not, let it go. Actions, not words

4) Don't be fooled by everything being OK again. You scared her and that will stay in the back of her mind until you demonstrate that you are not that guy. This will be hard for you because from what I can see, you are that guy.

5) Stop playing her games, stop jumping through her hoops. I say this because you seem to suck at them. Seriously, trying to be constructive here but god awful plays. As you say, she is the alpha female... yes, poking is kino... but that means that she is looking for an alpha male. Sure, in one on one talks, you are the AMOG, but you are also the ONLY male of the group. Do not capture her one on one, this will only make her nervous and likely to (steel) mace you.

6) She is afraid of you. not attracted, afraid, so you need a game plan. What follows is just such a plan, but if you decide to take it up, I recommend sticking to it.
You were going to stay away from her for a while before, but you didn't. Stick to any plan you make. Adapt, by all means, but stick to it!!!

Right, here we go...

1- Stay away from her for as long as she is in your head. You are either over- or under- analysing the situation all the time. In the time away from her, go out, meet other people, work on your game and personality.

I honestly recommend a psychyatrist, because you have some issues that need to be sorted out man and if you continue on like this, you'll end up doing something dumb. I had anger issues as a kid and had to see a psych too. There are so many times when the techniques she taught me to calm myself have come in useful, both in terms of game and personal development (and work, and school and blah blah blah).

2- Work on the guitar lessons. Seriously, get everyone in the class OTHER THAN HER to be so amazed with your playing that they huddle around you. Social proof it up.

3- Work on your conversation skills. You told her to tell you stuff to your face and she took it in a very negative way, meaning that your volume, pitch or tempo is off. Conversation and vocal training will help

4- This is possibly the most important thing. Chill out. Until you relax, she won't relax. If she doesn't relax, she won't have any fun. If she doesn't have fun, she won't see you as fun. If that doesn't happen, you will get no-where.

So in essence, go away, becom alpha, rather than the omega you're demonstrating here, come back as the better version of you that she needs you to be, then and only then will you have even a slim chance, but remember that it might still not work. You've messed up so far, that will leave a lasting impression, all you can hope for is that you haven't messed up too much.

Keep us updated.

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This post has the MHFenix stamp of approval.

http://mhfenix.wordpress.com/ It's my blog. Read it. Comment. Urge me to write more.

"I don't think I will ever love a woman the way I love myself."
*snigger*

You are doing things that are very creepy, very needy, and show serious problems with social awareness. I knew a guy with Asperger's who seems more socially calibrated than you.

My general advice for oneitis sufferers is ALWAYS the same. To go out and game other women.

In your case, I'm not sure if I should give this advice because I honestly worry you might go out there and start "manhandling" other women and creeping the shit out of them too. And no, wrapping your arms round some girl who has basically told you to get the hell away from her, and then poking her face (wtf??) is NOT KINO.

However, since the point of this place is to give socially awkward guys the tools they need to succeed with women, and in life in general, I'll give it a shot.

I think the first thing you should work on is building a social circle of women who you are just friends with, and guys who are popular and cool and share some of your interests, e.g. sports or music, etc. These people will help you learn normal, natural conversational skills, social calibration, and will give you feedback about areas of your life that need improvement.

Work on some inner game stuff. Sit down and think about what your strengths are as a person, any skills you have. Present those things favourably when in conversation. They can be both inner game tools to give you confidence, and also as useful DHV stories. Cultivate your music, get good at the guitar. It's a great DHV and seeing people listening to you play will not only give you confidence, but people around will take notice and that will boost your social proof. Also be honest with yourself - look at your weaknesses as a person, and at areas of your life that you know need improving. Maybe your wardrobe could use a re-vamp, or you notice that when you're practicing a DHV story in the mirror, you're not smiling enough or you stare too intently when you talk. (Remember to smile. Smiling shows non-aggression, which women NEED if they're to feel safe and calm around you)

Building social connections - whether friendships with guys, or relationships with girls, is all about GIVING VALUE. Right now you are a major value taker "um...can I call you sometime? Um..can I have a hug please?". Nobody likes being around value takers, which is why we shun the beggar on the street. He's trying to take value from us, and we know we're not gonna get anything back in return. Why invest anything in the interaction? You can give value in so many ways - by playing music people want to hear, by being funny, by creating fun social events, by being a leader in clubs, societies and other organisations. People want to be around value givers because they're getting something just be being around that person, and just knowing that person allows them access to fun times, parties, a great social group, etc. People will then give in return - guys will invite you to their parties, people will vote you to lead their club, and women will open you, show IOIs, and give compliance early on in an interaction.

I hope this makes sense, and please take the advice. Get the basics down of having a social life first, and then the confidence to run game will come.

And yes, I would honestly never speak to this girl ever again, for the good of both of you.

To all the other posters, thanks for the free psychiatric help.

lol.

Update....

I still am talking to this girl after all that. I'm that desperate and needy and I do need professional help.

Here's what happened today... I was gonna be hugging her again, but this cockblocker Jason was on my way... Dammit.

I know, I know, I should be out gaming other chicks... there's this hot chick in my tech reading class who seem to be showing IOIs. I should game her. Her name is Vanessa.

Now what the hell do I do with Vanessa?

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There's only one way under high heaven to make anybody do anything... Yes, just one way. That is, by making the other person wanna do it!

step 1: stay chill.

Seems like this will be your first real game experience, right? Start out textbook, work from there.

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This post has the MHFenix stamp of approval.

http://mhfenix.wordpress.com/ It's my blog. Read it. Comment. Urge me to write more.

"I don't think I will ever love a woman the way I love myself."
*snigger*

Like what? Raping her? That's ridiculous.

Heck, even I won't go that far. I'm desperate for her and everything but come on man...

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There's only one way under high heaven to make anybody do anything... Yes, just one way. That is, by making the other person wanna do it!

This is so easy to do everytime Victoria is not around.

Thanks for the advice.

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There's only one way under high heaven to make anybody do anything... Yes, just one way. That is, by making the other person wanna do it!

Not necesarily, but say she gets with someone else and he inadvertently rubs your face in it, it'll get you angry and you may end up hurting him.

Seriously, my ex had a friend who was smitten with her, just like you and the number of times I had to stop him from doing something stupid because she didn't realise how much she was F-ing with his head was unreal.
No worries man, we're all here to help each other, right? Now go show Vanessa how much fun you can be, you big psycho, you. lol

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This post has the MHFenix stamp of approval.

http://mhfenix.wordpress.com/ It's my blog. Read it. Comment. Urge me to write more.

"I don't think I will ever love a woman the way I love myself."
*snigger*

duuuuude, let that first chick go. you've creeped her out and i don't think she wants anything to do with you. do not talk to her, follow her, stare at her, or anything else. she no longer exists to you.

now as far as that new chick goes (venessa was it?), leave her alone for now as well. you have A LOT of work to do before you can start playing girls. if you approach this venessa chick and you end up acting like you did with the first chick, you are going to be known as "That Creepy Guy" at your school. it will wreck your chances for playing other girls at your school, and i'm sure you dont want to do that.

here is what you do, you take the time to work on YOU. do what the other guys have suggested, get awesome at the guitar, change your wardrobe, go to the gym and get jacked as fuck. most of all, get some friends that you are not trying to have sex with and work on your social skills. focus all your sexual frustrations on improving yourself.

once you get comfortable with yourself, other people will start getting comfortable with you as well. AND THEN, you can start playing. Like i said before, if you creep out another girl you are going to get a terrible reputation at your school, and we all know how hard it is to break a bad rep. do not let that happen to yourself.

MHFenix is dead on about this situation.

Your only hope here is really to work on yourself and date as many girls as possible.

She needs to know that you're not going to keep harassing/pestering/stalking her.

Remember, always negotiate from a position of strength!