Hey guys brand new here and have just posted my intro in the newbies section if you wanna check it out. To summarize im a 25 year old guy who has generally been an AFC all his life bar the 5 glorious years I went out with my gorgeous ex gf! I actually broke up with her to travel the world which I am currently doing (in central america) but am having little or no luck meeting new women.

Now I am an intellegent, outgoing and down to earth guy and so I know that before I can expect women to fall all over me I need to love myself. So I have actively started to improve my inner game and become more confident and happy with who I am, or maybe this should be "the person I can be"

I have just finished reading Gamblers "Natural Game v3" and am half way through "Magic Bullets". Now I am starting to read "Self Dicipline in 10 Days" by Theodore Bryant and "365 Steps to Self Confidence". I am also learning to become a scuba dive instructor and am meeting new people every day.

Can you recommend me some more ways to become happier and more confident in myself? I intend to update you all with my progress and im gonna start the Newbie Challenge tomorrow all day! Heres looking forward to a better me

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Starting from scratch im here to learn

Read the Dalai Lama's "The Art of Happiness". That was life changing for me. Generally speaking, taking care of your finances, taking care of your body, taking care of your mental state, meditating, experiencing joy and amazement, and approaching life with curiosity will take you pretty far!

I highly suggest meditation exercises! Especially if your traveling and you have a few minutes to just sit and be with yourself.

Good luck, and may the women instinctively flock to you!

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Crowd to Crowd

I have been thinking about some sort of meditation exercises lately alright but I have no idea where to really start?? Can you recommend some techniques, guides or even videos?

Also is it possible to take up yoga without going to class or having an instructor?

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Starting from scratch im here to learn

I learned to deal with my insecurities by creating my own reality.

I'm sure I'm far from the first person to use this kind of lifestyle, all I'm saying is that it works for me.

First I worked with affirmations, telling myself I'm attractive, that I have a good physique, that I'm funny... (the list goes on... it's quite a long one)

Never state something negative with these affirmations. At first, some of my affirmations were only half-true, but the more I told myself and read the list, the more true it became (such as "I am ultra-confident in myself and the choices I make").

Be able to laugh at yourself. If I trip and fall or happen to make an ass out of myself, I state it myself. This proves that I have knowledge of everything I do.

The point is to more or less make affirmations about the person you want to be and tell yourself that you are that person. This isn't lying, because soon enough you will be that person.

Not caring about other peoples negative opinions is next up. I always thank people when they compliment me, while I just shoot people a smile when they try to tell me something that conflicts my forementioned affirmations. Never ask yourself if you're socially accepted, know you are.

...And now that I'm talking about smiling; ALWAYS smile. Of course there are times when you shouldn't smile like a jack-ass, but as long as someone haven't told you about their cancer-sick puppy? Keep smiling!

Keep your head high and use eye-contact. I never break eye-contact until the person I'm looking at broke it first. Even then I try to continue to keep eye-contact, edging on it being creepy. Note how people will stop looking into your eyes, then you have a psychological leverage and can tone down the eye-contact.

Keep an open body language. I rarely cross my arms, I rather lock my thumbs in the pockets on the rear of my pants.

And in order to shed away all kinds of notions of being a jerk and a complete jack-ass; never talk anyone else down. Disagreements will occur, but never attack another persons persona, even if they started it.

The most important rule of life though: HAVE FUN! Enjoy yourself.

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Works for me, atleast.

Yoga is better with an instructor, but I'm sure you could figure it out with a book.

Meditation isn't complicated per say, but its something you have to work at:

Body meditation: (Warm up)

This meditation is simply to prepare your body and your mind for channeling energy in constructive ways.

While your sitting comfortably (doesn't have to be cross-legged, but make sure your spine is strait.) Imagine that your creating a connection to the earth that is an energy sharing bond, and the earth has unlimited amounts of energy. Now imagine that your slowly drawing up energy through your feet, up into your calves, feel it come up into your knees, then through your thighs. Then channel this energy into your spine. Feel it slowly creep up your spine. When you reach your shoulders, allow the energy to flow through your arms, and into your hands. Let it sit here for a moment. Then draw it back up your arms, back into your spine, and allow it to go through your neck, into the bottom of your skull, and shoot it out through the third eye (or center of the forehead if you will).

Now you are ready to move on.

Appreciation of Breath:

Pay close attention to your breathing. Just let it flow naturally. Don't try to breathe in a "holy" manner. Imagine that you are sitting on a beach, watching the tide come in and out around some rocks that are sticking out of the water. Imagine that your breath is the water, and your nose is the rock.

Now with your breath, focus on the point of your nose where the breath actually enters. Now while imagining the ocean, put emphasis on the point of entrance on your inward breath. Do this for 10 or more counts.

Now reverse this. Focus on the point on your nose where the breath exits. Put emphasis on this feeling. Do this for 10 counts.

Now try to maintain focus on the whole process of breath, while imagining this ocean. Don't count, but remain focused for as long as possible.

Cultivation of Metta (happiness):

Imagine that your body is a well with water at the bottom, and all the thoughts going through your head are pebbles that are being dropped into this water. Now the water creates ripples and relays the vibration into the walls of the well.

Try to remember a time when you were happy. Not outcome dependent happy, like your favorite team just won a game, but genuinely happy as if you were contented with life and you were just enjoying being in the moment. Realize that this feeling is the essential feeling behind happiness and well being. Now, wish yourself happiness and well being. Wish it again and again. You should feel the ripples shoot a spine tingling ecstatic energy through you, kind of like the feeling you get when you hear your favorite song. Goose bumps form, and you cant help but smile

Now, Imagine that you are sitting in a circle with 1 friend, 1 mutual acquaintance, and 1 enemy. Try to spend an equal amount of time wishing that friend happiness and well being. Try to imagine you both experiencing that together. Now, wish that mutual acquaintance happiness and well being. Spend equal time wishing this! Now do the same for your enemy. Afterwards, imagine in your circle, your all wishing each other happiness and well being. Feel the power of having 4 people genuinely caring about this goal, and achieving it! Now you can continue to wish this upon people geographically until you've eventually wished the entire world happiness and well being.

These are some good meditation exercises that have enriched my life.

Remember, this is about freeing your mind from the construct of your thought patterns. A reason to meditate is to calm the mind, to not have to be thinking about something. To reach a point of contentedness with just being. The best way I can describe this silencing of the bombardment of thought is by saying its like your watching tv and a commercial is on. Your not to particularly interested in the commercial, so you tune it out and stop paying attention to it. You just let it go, your not trying to control it, your not trying to stop it from existing, your simply allowing it to not matter. Eventually your thoughts will quiet down much more often, and it will seem easier to sit for extended periods of time.

Now all this is for happiness, the method that punchl!ne is talking about has proven to be very effective for many in regards to developing confidence.

Good luck!

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Crowd to Crowd