Soft rejection or not? And how should I handle it?



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PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 7:32 am 
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(This is my 1st post; didn't want to waste time making an introduction nobody gives a shit about. Happy to join the community :D )

So there's this girl with a boyfriend I asked out. She said she'd buy me coffee in some silly conversation we had previously. Anyway I said over text (which was fucking stupid) "I'll take you up on that coffee tomorrow." She responded like 10 minutes later with an obvious lie about how she's hanging out with someone else so naturally I think I've blown out. BUT she attempted to reschedule next weekend only she wanted to go see a movie instead and wanted me to bring friends.

I told her to have fun and said forget it because she wanted to see some crummy thriller called "The Stepfather" and I wasn't sitting through it. So she asked me if there was anything else I wanted to watch and I told her about the flick I was interested in along with why she wanted me to bring a friend or two along. She says she thinks a group thing would be fun. WTF? Anyway I felt defeated over the whole thing so I just said we'll see about next weekend. And she said "Okay sounds cool".

Now I wouldn't ask a girl out if I didn't think she was interested in me...much less a girl with a boyfriend. (BTW her BF is away in the military and wont be back for a long time. It's not why I'm hitting on her I just think this guy isn't right for her for reasons that don't really pertain to this post so I wont get into it.) Anyway we've flirted and she seems to be very curious about my love life always asking me if I'm talking to anybody. If I answer yes she'll ask what she looks like and all sorts of details. She even accused me of being on a date when I told her I had a "special dinner" I wanted to attend when it wasn't. She'd then ask if the person I went out with was male or female. (We have a bit of a history but we've never really been close). The guy she's dating is her first boyfriend so she's not too experienced in the dating realm I guess. Even when we've flirted over txt she's visibly edited her messages to say something different.

So part of me is thinking she likes me but is just not comfortable being with me alone and wants to ease the tension by having someone else around and the other part is screaming friendly rejection. Can I get some opinions? And what do you think is the best way to handle this?


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 10:14 am 
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post an introduction and I will read your post. Sorry I'm a dick.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 12:02 pm 
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I´m very new to this, so you may not want to take my advice, but to me it seems that you´re right on with this
"So part of me is thinking she likes me but is just not comfortable being with me alone and wants to ease the tension by having someone else around...".

Just assume she´s interested, continue gaming, gets you laid the most, or so i´ve read. :)

Maybe some role-reversal lines to neutralize her or something?
Like, if you two go out for coffee, tell her in a playful way that it will take more that coffee to make you fall for her.


But, like i wrote, i´m very new and maybe i shouldn´t give advice. So please be critical to my post, and feel free to correct me where i´m way off. Helps me improve. :)


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 12:35 pm 
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you are eager and desperating, that is somewhat AFC like.

do not worry about her boyfriend, ignore it. mystery has mentioned how to deal with the girl who tells you she has a boyfriend. refer to the book, it will helpful.

you may not ask her to leave her boyfriend and drop in love with you, let her choose one to stay with.

i do not think it has any sense that she ask you to bring some friends with you for the movie. if she accepts your flirting, you will have chance to get her.

what kind of relationship between you do you want? that is what you have to determined before your continue.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 3:47 pm 
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Quote:
you are eager and desperating, that is somewhat AFC like.
Hence the name. :) Thanks for the advice you two.


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