Of, firs of all..I screwed it up with the HB:9, I don't know what I did wrong but it seemed to me that she didn't want to meet me anymore. 4 days later she was her friends place and we talked via messenger and she said..I'm too drunk today to meet you and blabla. Because I was soooooo needy and frustrated at that moment, I wrote that she could have said that she did'nt want to see me anymore and that she could have been atleast honest. And she said that no, it wasn't like that..blabla. Anyways, she hasn't called me but I guess it doesn't matter. If she didn't want to see me then she wouldn't have called anyway and by telling her those things in messenger, I became AFC in her eyes..anyways, she would have not called me so..atleast I got my anger out by being a chump.

After that I was so pissed that I wanted to get really drunk. I called to 2 of my friends and we went to town center. We just drink and didn't do anything else. The anger took away some of my shyness but I didn't talk to any girls. Before that night, things had gotten really bad for me..my social shiness was extreme, I wasn't confident even to watch people in the eyes bc I thought all the time about my value and that if I'd fail then rumors would start to spread and I'd be even bigger looser.

After the extreme drunk night, I understood that..I haven't learn the game for a year and a half to be in a place like this: frustrated guy with extreme shyness and with fear of DLV'ing himself by talking to people. That wasn't my original plan..my plan was to get good with girls.

I called to my friend who is wery goodlooking guy but with zero game. He does have some advantages. He is very very good looking and when he's talking then he has LOT's of things to talk about and he talks very passionately. Anyways, I had told him about the game and he had read it a bit, not fully but just couple of pages (Attraction isn't a choice and Relevation).

He bacame my wing. And last night, I was sitting in my home and said to myself: ok, I don't want to be that needy bastard with no options. I WANT to have options, I don't want to be that guy who gets frustrated when a girl doesn't call back. I want to do something..every second the time ticks on and I can think about Pick-up as long as I want but every second I'm not acting..my life and youth are constantly ending. So I wrote down 3 DHV stories about my life (first stories I have ever written), couple of opener, few transitions and I was ready to go.

On the way to town center (3km) I said "hi" to all people, only TWO people said "hello" back and they were both older people (about 50-60). All others just walked by or looked at me but didn't say anything. I said hello to 10 people I guess. On the way I opened 3 sets (3set, 1set, 1set), and asked the first one are there any cool partys tonight, they didn't know, then I asked the second and the third set if they knew where I could find a gift wrapping paper (it was 10 PM so I thought it was guite absurd and funny to ask that on frighday night) they were guite friendly and recommended me places.
Then I went to the town square and waited my wing. He was half an hour late bc his car didn't start although he lives 10 minutes from the meeting place by walking. By now I was already in quite a good state in my mind to talking to people but because he wasn't there yet, I was becoming a bit nervous. I said to myself: fck it, if you don't open any sets u are gonna loose the mood and it's now or never. I saw a twoset HB: 6 and HB: 8,5. And to my surprise, I had written down the openers, I had written down the transitions, I had written down the DHV stories..I didn't use ANY of them. I asked: do u know where there are any cool partys tonight? And I just started to bust their balls. I said something wierd or too balsy I guess that the HB:8,5 told to her friend: god, what an awful pickup line. I reacted: hey, I just asked where the cool partys are, I'm not hitting on you, don't start hoping anything ok. (my very first cold approach neg/shittest responce). Anyways, we pantered a bit and they left to go to their party. Although I hadn't created any attraction, I had opened a set and had a fun little convo with them. I felt good.
Then another girl walked past and she was wearing a wierd tripod thing and I asked her if she was goint to take pictures. She said no and asked if I wasn't cold sitting on the bench like that (it was 0 degrees celsius) and I said a really funny answer: yeah, I know..my mom told be to take a blanket with me. She started to laught. Anyways, I said that go take some good pictures then, she said again that she wasn't going to take pictures, I said: ok go take some shitty pictures then..she didn't get that one and left.
Then I asked a passing group of girls if they knew any cool partys, they kept moving and said no.

I got a call from my friend that his car didn't start and i walked towards his way to meet him. We saw a two set HB:10s BOTH and I asked if THEY knew any cool party, they said no and walked on..HB: 10's are hard. After that we talked a lot about the game and I opened about 3 more sets. One of them was opened by the question: hey girls, me and my friend were thinking..what would you do if a man comes to you..looks you in they eye and asks if you wanted to fuck? She said that if he would be drunk..he would get a kick in the balls but if sober then .. if it was a goodlooking guy then yes and if not then she would appriciate the courage but would say no. Then she reopened us later and we talked about the places to go. I tried teasing her but she never laughed..and finally said that we are making fun of her..She was 26 and we were 18 and 20. I guess..there are people with no sence of humor

Finally we went to a pub and I started to teach my wing the basics of pick-up. I had to teach him EVERYTHING, I guess he hadn't read the books that well. I flirted with the waitress a lot and we got a free pack of nuts Later the girl with the tripod walked in and I said hey to her, asked if she got any good pictures. She said no and that she was suppoused to make shitty pictures. Yeah, she finally got the joke. Anyways, I wasn't feeling that good anymore and I wanted to go home (I had never had that many interactions with strangers during one night and I teached my wing the theory of game about 2 hours). So we went home.

On the way home I opened a 8set with ALL hot girls in it. I just said: hey girls, I want to aske one guestion from you and then one of those girls said that she knows me that me go to same university, I said: ok, cool. (NEG, me being higher value by not knowing HB:9) and asked if she would ever date a guy in wheelchair. She gave me a really cleaver answer (can't be translated to english). I said, dam girls..ur cruel..I wanted to know if u were friendly or cruel and u are TOTALLY cruel. Hey were all laughting and they walked on and I walked my way home. I think if I had talked to them a bit more, I could have joined them.

That was my first ACTUAL PUA sarging night. I never thought that the night would turn out like that. It was a big surprise that at some point, I was able to open any sets and feel NO fear of rejestion or failure AT ALL. Like, I didn't even CARE anymore if they would respond or not..I felt that I was totally flowing.

What made that magic happen? The willingness to ruin my reputation and not giving a shit about it.

The good: the night, that I was able to open sets and even hook a few of them using NO routines AT ALL.

The bad: On the way home I was fearing one thing really badly: that next day, when I wake up, I'm not able to do that again. That fear didn't let me sleep well.. That's my biggest fear now. I have seen the light, I have seen what I'm capable of doing..and I NEVER want to go back to the mindset I was in before the night. I didn't use any routines or DHV stories to create attraction.

HOPE: Please, God, don't ever let me sink back to the looser mindset.