So, I asked her if she wanted to go out for a cup of coffee this week.
She said she only has time tomorrow. Is this some sort of compliance test from her?
Do I DLV if I accept tomorrow? Should I say I´m busy tomorrow, and suggest another day instead?

Some help would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Stop overanalyzing and just have fun. Go and have coffee with the girl, why stopping yourself from something that you obviosly want?

It won't DLV you in any way, it will just show the obvious - you are interested, so she is.

Live your life
Cheers
Jez

_________________
“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.”

Definitely just go and have fun. Half the battle seems to be over. Just make sure you kino her a bit to keep you out of the LJBF zone

Jezebel, thanks man! Good advice.

Foxtrot 5: Thank you for the reply! Half the battle was not won though!


So, we meet for coffee, we have a great time, everything is going well.
We get along great. No awkward silences, fun conversations, mutual interests, and so on.
Some light kino, like her touching my arm while telling a story, holding arms while walking.
And, I´ve reminded her a bit of the time constraint I had.

Anyhow, I think I played it good so far. Some light negging, teasing, regular flirting you know, some DHV from me, IOI´s from me as she DHV´s for me.
This is where I fuck it up though. She walks with me right outside where my building is. A few minutes before, I think her BF called.
Anyway, right outside the door to the building, I slip in
"But you know, it will take more than coffee to make me fall for you though."
in a very playful manner. I´m about to head up to my apartment, then she asks if she can come up with me, and wait there for her father to pick her up.
And she says it was him who called. I´m pretty sure it was her BF though.

So, i let her come up with me to my apartment. Rookie fucking mistake.
In hindsight, i´m guessing she just wanted to demonstrate her female power, after my "It will take more than coffee..." comment.
So, we talk a bit about mutual interests and things.
Rookie fucking mistake again. There was this moment, I´m pretty sure i felt it.
But she´s probably just leading me on, so i lean in to kiss her, and there´s hesitation, no kiss, and i get the "I have a BF".
From there on, we talk a tiny bit, she borrows a movie from me. We decide to meet again some other time. And we say good bye. It was a pleasant departure.

But, i feel like i´ve blown it pretty much.
I fell for her hoops, letting her come up to my appartment, and then i stupidly try to kiss her.
I should´ve gone with Mystery´s kiss-close routine instead maybe. Just asked her if she wanted to kiss me.
It feels like i should have ended the very nice evening outside of my door, and said goodbye there.

Sorry for the wall of text. Just trying to find my own mistakes, and it might be useful if anyone want to give me some tips?

So, have i screwed it up totally with this girl? Any tips on how to proceed from here?
Freeze-out? I need help. Thanks in advance! I really want to improve my game.

Come on, fellas. Anyone?
(I guess I should go read through all the stickified threads first, I´m probably asking stupid questions.)

If you want the girl even though she has a boyfriend i would advise you just to continue as if she has never said 'I have a boyfriend’ . Ignore it, he should not exist for you.
Do whatever you would have done if she hasn’t told you that particular line.
Good luck

Jez

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“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.”

Nope you weren't wrong at all for trying to kiss her that was only the right thing to do. Now you know you're both not on the same page. I wouldn't ask her out anymore.

My guess is the coffee date went on longer than it should have, you talked a lot to avoid awkward silence, probably cracked one joke too many or just say something to about yourself to turn her off.


Unless its meeting for an alcoholic drink.
I really don't like the coffee date you have to sit down in the shop and basically putting on a show for the girl trying to fill in the voids of silence putting more time on the clock for her to disqualify you.

What you should have done was gotten the coffee and walked back to your apartment with it in hand you've could have gotten close to her on your sofa and tried to seal the deal earlier before you had a chance run off at the mouth and screw it up.

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

she sounds like a complete waste of time IMO

Besides, do you really want a girl that dates other guys while she has a bfriend? yes, she'll do that to you too. Watch closely the way your dates treat other people, its a good indicator as to how they will treat you in a relationship.

(maybe you dont want a relationship, but it sounds like you do and my post assumes this)

I guess a good question would be, what are your motives? To just get laid, or relationship?

Was this the first you found out that she had a BF? Where you motives to get laid or have a relationship?

for myself; A boyfriend is a showstopper. I then play a bit longer, but never get down with that girl ( ok ok, it did more then once going after the b00bsies ), unless she wants to go down that road of going down.

_________________
True communication is communion―the realization of oneness, which is love! ~ Eckhart Tolle

Thanks a million for the response, guys!

Jez: I´ll try, thanks!

Reo: Thanks! It was kind of short actually, and i think she did more talking than me. She actually continued conversation when it started to slow down.

Visionx: Thanks for the answer. I´ll consider that!

ONEdayATaTIME: Relationship, for sure! Yeah, this was the first time she mentioned it.

Mr. Shade, hahah, I think it´s a showstopper too... hmm.

Also, today on MSN she told me "my boyfriend doesn´t respond to my text messages. screw this, i´m gonna grab something to eat."
Even tho her Facebook relationship status changed from nothing to "single" the day after she and i met.

I´m guessing maybe i screwed this up. Time to move on perhaps...

Any further input, guys? What should i´ve done differently? Much appreciated!

Another thing. I´ve been thinking about calling her out on the boyfriend thing. I´m pretty sure she doesn´t have one, but is seeing/dating someone...

I would totally ignore her mentioning him. But the thing is that her facebook status says "single".
Wouldn´t it be some DHV if i call her out on her bullshit perhaps?
I dunno.

Back to reading.

Input would be awesome!

no that wouldnt be a DHV, it would look like youre stalking her and trying to prove her wrong (if you mentioned her facebook status to her). look, the situation is either one of the following:

1. she has a bfriend and was willing to be adventurous and see if you had something better to offer. you didnt (according to her), so she admitted she had a bfriend in order to get you to back off.

2. she doesnt have a bfriend, she wanted to go on a date with you/ you cocked up somewhere along the line and she is lying about the bfriend thing to get you to back off.

I can understand its tempting to find out which one it is, and IF she had a bfriend then WHY did she go on a date with you and what did she think would ever come of it etc etc. but these questions are not worth asking as you already have your final answer from her. if she carries on contacting you wanting to see you, and you guys are NOT good friends already....then you may have something there. but dude, meet other women already and stop investing in this one!

Thanks Visionx! I appreciate the input! I had definitely ruled it as one of the two options you posted.
The thing is though, she starts conversations on msn, and seem to be kind of interested.
I think I´m gonna ask her if she wants to hang out some time next week.
If that doesn´t work out, i´ll move on. What´s really throwing me off though, is we had such a great time.
That, and the fact that I felt like we really clicked. I can´t be that off.
Maybe she was just playing with me, and trying to work her female powers on me or something.