she has a bf..... now what



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:45 am 
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so i met this girl recently but she has a boyfriend, they have been together for a year or so. i used the whole " so your in the perfect relationship?" line. but it kinda backfired, she giggled and said yes. i just met her but i think he is a prick so im hopin he mite screw up somewhere. im new but how would you all go about this girl? i think she mite be worth the trouble, so fire away.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:48 am 
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you gotta be the better man, she may have a boyfriend, but you are the man

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:16 am 
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should i go more for the bf destroyer approach? or something a little different?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:37 am 
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you are the better man its like Nike just do it


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 7:21 am 
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Quote:
so i met this girl recently but she has a boyfriend, they have been together for a year or so. i used the whole " so your in the perfect relationship?" line. but it kinda backfired, she giggled and said yes. i just met her but i think he is a prick so im hopin he mite screw up somewhere. im new but how would you all go about this girl? i think she mite be worth the trouble, so fire away.
I always look at it this way, if I meet a woman who has a boyfriend and I know I could potentially sleep with her if I put ALOT of time in it - I think, what if one day I'm in a relationship and that happens to me?
This hasn't always stopped me, but - if I can go out and meet plenty of woman wherever, then I'd rather move on and meet one without a boyfriend, or at least one who doesn't tell me she has a bf so I don't have to feel guilty. (of course If I knew her BF is a dick, then I wouldn't mind so much)

Ok...back to your question.
Firstly, don't feed into the PUA marketing techniques...you can be a great PUA but there are some woman who won't be interested regardless of what you do or how you do it. (i.e I met a girl who showed absolutely no interest in me, I thought it's cause I did something wrong, only to find out that she's a lesbian...and she didn't even look like one, but she was!!)
So, this girl may not even be willing to cheat on her BF, for starters.

(also you didn't ask the question right...you said "so...you're in the perfect relationship?"...you should've asked "so how's it like to be in the perfect relationship?" this question is more open, instead of a potential yes/no answer)

And why do you think her boyfriends a prick? have you met him? Don't you think that creates a pretty funny paradox? you think her BF's a prick, and yet you're hoping her 1 year relationship is ruined so she could come crying to you. lol.

One thing I would suggest is to get in a good mind frame. Currently you're thinking "I'm trying to pick up a girl with a boyfriend..." change that to "I'm trying to pick up a regular girl...she is no different to any other girl"

That's where I think many might screw up. They keep thinking, "i need to find the best line to eliminate this girls BF from the equation". The best way to do this is NOT to be looking for a line, it's to not even acknowledge the BF as a threat you to.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:13 am 
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Interesting topic.. I like that line of yours Vizzy.. "so how is it like to be in the perfect relationship?"

I like it a lot in fact I like it so much I am going to try just that , cause I too am finding myself very attracted to some one whom is in a relationship .. there are so many questions that I need answered so so so much I would like to run past everyone for their valuable opinions and advise.

ok mind if I add this? If not just remove this post.

About 2 months ago I decide to step into a world of Professional dancing , because I had been dancing for many years and thought hey I love this so much let me do it part time as a profession! anyway I joined up at a studio as a trainee teacher , and met a lovely lady that I really like , and over the course of two months our interaction is getting better and better , I Like her A LOT! but Dum dum dum... she has a boyfriend..

And I believe in relationships , really do I don't want to really steal her or anything

How ever , I met her prior to my knowledge of this forum , and the book called "the game"

anyway I have done a tad bit of probing already in terms of well finding out about their relationship..

and well its not really the greatest one out there , but his not a bad guy either!

anyway , she asked me to be her professional dance partner and well , I am usually blind to the flirtations of a woman to me , but I think she may be flirting with me..

Anyway.. I want her in a bad way lol...

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:17 am 
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First off; In reference to the line "so how is it like to be in the perfect relationship?", it's much more effective to describe ideal aspects of a 'perfect relationship' and frame it as;
'It must be really nice to be a guy that does X and X and X and soo much for you, etc. etc. etc.'

If you want to go full out, you can describe aspects of a 'perfect' relationship that reflects poorly on the guy, makes him seem clingy, etc, but always keep in mind how this reflects on you, and how your idea of a relationship will seem to her.

Secondly, ethically and morally I disagree with seeking a girl in a relationship, a lot of guys here will say that the hottest girls are never not in a relationship, I disagree, the girls that need to be in a relationship often use it as a way of coping with unresolved issues. That being said, I'm not going to attempt to influence your decision in regards to gaming this girl, but keep in mind what you are doing, keep in mind how you are going to influence her life.

Guys may be jerks, they may be dickheads, they may be arrogant losers, but everyone is at some time, and I'm sure that some people see you as that sometimes as well.

I agree with vizzy's comment; "what if one day I'm in a relationship and that happens to me?" You would feel like shit. Do you want to put anyone through that?

I've had my share of girls in relationships, and this is just my mindset, but if you think that they're worth breaking up with their boyfriends, you have to consider that they're also worth keeping around just as friends, because if you proceed and mess up, you might lose that. It's a high stakes game, don't play unless your willing to lose her.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:58 am 
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also dont like stealing a women from another guy either , cause I dont want it to happen to me and in some respects it has happened to me before.. but I thought if I might be able to lay the ground work , and if she happens to end her relationship that I may stand a chance with her perhaps.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:19 pm 
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Depends on the relationship. If the guy is a fucking jerk who I don't like then I have no moral problem stealing her. However if I think the two are happy then I don't want to get in the way of that.

If it doesn't work for you and she's happy then well, here's a simple word that ought to help:

NEXT!


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:04 pm 
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YUP :) good words.. NEXT!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:09 pm 
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If you are that interested in this particular girl, my advice is just act as if the bfriend doesn't exist at all.

Jez

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:35 pm 
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thanks everyone for the advice, im new at this and this isnt the easy task.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:34 am 
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If you are that interested in this particular girl, my advice is just act as if the bfriend doesn't exist at all.

Jez
AWESOME advise !

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The art of flying the Nack rather is learning to throw yourself at the ground and miss!


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:17 am 
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Quote:
Interesting topic.. I like that line of yours Vizzy.. "so how is it like to be in the perfect relationship?"

I like it a lot in fact I like it so much I am going to try just that , cause I too am finding myself very attracted to some one whom is in a relationship .. there are so many questions that I need answered so so so much I would like to run past everyone for their valuable opinions and advise.

ok mind if I add this? If not just remove this post.

About 2 months ago I decide to step into a world of Professional dancing , because I had been dancing for many years and thought hey I love this so much let me do it part time as a profession! anyway I joined up at a studio as a trainee teacher , and met a lovely lady that I really like , and over the course of two months our interaction is getting better and better , I Like her A LOT! but Dum dum dum... she has a boyfriend..

And I believe in relationships , really do I don't want to really steal her or anything

How ever , I met her prior to my knowledge of this forum , and the book called "the game"

anyway I have done a tad bit of probing already in terms of well finding out about their relationship..

and well its not really the greatest one out there , but his not a bad guy either!

anyway , she asked me to be her professional dance partner and well , I am usually blind to the flirtations of a woman to me , but I think she may be flirting with me..

Anyway.. I want her in a bad way lol...
That's not my line lol!
I found this video in this forum and some guy was discussing different lines and techniques.
Maybe someone can provide the link? (I would, but I can't find it :()


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