Hello,

been reading for a while, first time poster etc. Anywho, I've seen for ages that everyone seems to be in the same situation as I am in. IE not getting laid. Is there ANYONE who is, as it seems to be the same story every time? I even read the field reports and it's all failures. This advice is not very useful if everyone gives it but has never had any success with it. Come on, just looking at Gambler there, and you can obviously see he would never have a problem with women, not because of personality but because he is good-looking. Things just 'happen' to good-looking people, I see it all the time.

Leaves me feeling it's all a little suspect. it's far easier to read and write stuff on the internet, but actually doing it? Preposterous!!!

Please, someone set my mind at ease, I want to learn but I'm starting to doubt this stuff.

People get laid just fine here, as for gamblers looks meh its down to personal taste but he is not good looking as such just attractive. But you learn from failures as well as successes and with posts with failures they or someone else usually breaks down where they went wrong.

Finally there are keyboard jockeys on all forums but the question is should people have to get all boys club and have to prove themselves to others. I know I get results and don't feel the need to do field reports or post picture or videos to prove it. That said it would be cool to get all the people on the forum that usually dish out advice to start a video thread. Where we post filmed approaches etc. COuld be good to see our different styles and make it easier for people that are just starting out or think this stuff has to do with looks to see that stuff means little.

I personally look like a combination of a woman and a goth, sadly I am neither lol but meh. I know a lot of guys on this forum that get a lot of results but aren't good looking

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Then please, go on doubting. Don't ever do anyting about it. Don't try anything different, don't learn new stuff. You are surely going to improve yourself that way.

Does that make sense?

You are obviously here because you are not having the success with women that you would like to get. The least you could do is give it a shot. There is a lot of material out there, a lot of it is bull and a lot of it is gold. Figure out what is gold for you and what is bull for you.

Everybody knows someone that is not particularly good looking but has an attractive girlfriend. Actually it's a nice homework for you to do (I've did it). Go look up 2-3 good looking women. Women that you are attracted to and would love to go out with (or fuck, I'm not here to judge your intents). So go up to those women and ask them honestly what do they find attractive in a man. Make it clear to them that it's nothing personal, that it's just for personal information. You would be surprised at how low 'looks' score in their list. It's in there but it's far from #1 believe me. Then, once you know what they are looking for, try to be that man. Improve yourself in areas they listed which you would consider yourself to be bad at. I.e. They will most likely list confidence (mine all did). How can you become a more confident person? Find that out and improve! Some David DeAngelo and NLP material helped me get more confidence and getting some success in the field has also help me be more confident. Am I more confident now then when I started looking at all this PUA stuff? Hells ya. Would I now be more attractive to the 3 women that listed Confidence as a top reason for being attracted to a guy? You answer that one.

Cheers!

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Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

Looks don't matter.

I'm a model and I get laid all the time.

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Hi Sexton,

I used to get called ugly at school, college, university, and even by my first girlfriend at 21. I've not had plastic surgery. I have made the best of my looks BUT I really think the big difference has been how I feel about myself. I felt ugly, I felt like a loser, I thought I was worthless. When you think like that, it projects and looks very ugly. My best friend who is amazing with women is not very good looking at all, and we recently put up a live pick up video by Yad, again not a good looking guy but he is so fucking confident that he gets super hot girls. Technical good looks are overrated by guys, the energy you project is much more important.

-Rich

so much better phrased than how I attempted it

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Often people write field reports BECAUSE they screwed up and they want help sorting it out.
And I don't see the point of writing lay reports everytime, too many of them will turn in to bragging. So I only write those when they are either a story worth telling or if I think they could be really useful.
But yes I'm getting laid apart from one nights, I have a few fwb and I'm always out sarging for more.

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.............
Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html

Cheers everyone. I guess I'm just really frustrated at the moment. I just think it's far easier to say: 'go up and talk to people' than to actually do it. It's partly AA, but then again it's also social stigma IMO. Nobody does that. Sure it'd make you stand out, but you have the problem of approaching the person plus the stigma of other people around you seeing it as well and thinking 'weirdo!!!'. There seems to be very few times where it'd feel natural to talk to someone you don't know.

Confidence i'll agree is a massive factor. However, it's useless when you can't use it. I find it's fine if i'm actually talking to someone already. But you it's hard to give off a vibe of confidence, or something, if you're not actually talking to them. I mean, there's heaps of nerds/emos who are very confident. Same with overweight chicks. That doesn't mean they're attractive, it just comes across as weird or desperate.

Eye contact is another thing. I read about direct eye contact. I've tried it and it's glorious for looking at women, makes me feel good. However, again, no-one else does this. It looks pervy or like you're a stalker. I feel weird staring, even though I like the result. My non-game mate even told me to stop staring at people as it's noticeable and makes me look weird. On that note, smiles...they don't work. No-one smiles. You smile at someone, it shows you're happy. Doesn't mean anything else. It doesn't seem to be a greeting or anything.

I've tried all this, and I feel better internally knowing I have some sort of game plan but realistically I haven't had any results, and so i'm not sure how it would work without a significant something else I must be missing. I know I have weird, odd views compared to the norm here and I'm sure there's an underlying psychological problem there (dunno why though) Yeah, it's hard. Thanks for your replies everyone!

People don't talk to people they don't already know? Then how does anyone ever meet ANYONE? You know this is a fallacy. You're coming up with excuses because you're backwards-rationalising your AA. Don't. If you feel like you need a *reason* to talk to someone, then use what Adam Lyons calls "functional" openers. E.g "do you know where the toilets are?" "do you know the way to a good clothing store?" "am I going the right way for the train station?" etc. ANYTHING. An opener isn't really about the opener - even really well thought out opinion openers still mostly get a fairly lukewarm response at first. The point is to start a conversation, transition into a DHV story, and start building that rapport and eventually attraction.

Secondly, eye contact is not staring. The thing about eye contact is the idea of helping to build your confidence by making eye contact with a girl and THEN smiling at her as she walks past. This shows you that people are generally friendly and to help you keep a nice alpha frame by making them break eye contact first. If you're talking about holding eye contact while in-set, then it's also important, but you have to look away occasionally because otherwise you would be staring at her the WHOLE TIME during a conversation and that would seem unnatural.

You don't have an underlying problem. You are like a lot of guys - you are a little shy and you think that going outside your comfort zone and actually talking to people around you would be "weird" and "creepy". It's not. People do it all the time, trust me. Tomorrow, try opening EVERYONE. Doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl, just give a few nice words, a "good morning" a compliment on an item of clothing, or directions, to every random stranger you see. You'd be surprised how friendly most people are, and you might even have some interesting conversations!

Actually approaching people and talking to them is as weird as you make it. I'm a fun social guy, why would it be weird to let my social juices flow and spread rainbows and unicorns among people? I truly think it isn't. the weirdness is just your perception. Change that and things will start looking bright. As for the stigma, do I care if a random stranger thinks I'm weird when I screw up? No, it is normal, I don't blame them for their reaction, a different time and setting I could've rocked their world, whatever it was, I get past it and move on. But I know I'm worth more than a random stranger's judgement.
It isn't about confidence, confidence is something you get after years and years of experience. It's about courage. Having the balls to stand up and doing something about the situation you're in. Let your loneliness fuel you. As hank moody once said "A night of awkwardness is better than a night of loneliness".
Everyone is confident to some extend. This mostly is situational confidence. Like a nerd would feel confident beating someone at a video game. Place them in a club situation they'll be insecure.
Again, it's as weird as you make it. Try giving it a fun vibe. give it the 'knowing little smile'. Positivity is an highly attractive trait. Why would someone stick with a guy that's negative all the time and doesn't know what fun is. Sounds rather boring to me. On the other hand there is positivity, it's contagious, like smiling. You're offering people something, instead of wanting something from them. You like the result, then looking at other people should be fun. Stop listening to other people to tell you what you should like and shouldnt like. Also if you weren't allowed to look at things, why would we have eyes?
You are not weird, there is no psychological problem, you are no special snowflake. That's bullshit your ego is feeding you to stop you from taking action. It would mean your ego would be gone. It doesn't like that.

I highly recommend you read eckhart tolle and start being positive for 10 days straight. No negative thoughts allowed. once one pops up in your head. accept it and move on. don't linger in it. otherwise you have to start over



-Jav

For you to get any sort of result you need to actually approach and talk to a girl. You just can't stare at them all day long and expect them to just walk over to you and hand their number to you. You have to actually work to get the girls number. Stop telling your self this bullshit that people don't approach strangers and what have you, because until you get rid of that bull crap you are never going to have any sort of results with pick up. I know you are new to this. But this stuff does work. If it didn't then this forum would never exist.

Most of the people I know I've met through work.
I've had several different jobs in my lifetime and it's always taken a few weeks to break the ice and get to know people.
But because you're in a situation where you're not in you're work colleagues' company by choice,
it's inevitable that you're gonna get to know one another whether you develop friendships or not.
There's only a couple of people that I can call my close friends and they are both people I have met at work.
Others I have met through introductions - friends of friends.
There's not a single person I can think of who I've met by approaching.

Hi Sexton,

you are true about Gambler and many other pickup artists - they are good-looking, because otherwise they would be rejected 1000 times in front of their students, which is very embarracing and bad for their reputation. Their goal is however to give complete nerds and losers hope and confidence, that they 'have what it takes' to fuck supermodels. That's why ugly people rarely run bootcamps. 'Pickup coaches' who are not very good-looking just write books full of fairy-tales about their rich sexual life and appear on TV shows with hot-looking escorts by their hand.

"Learning" in PU language means trying the same thing infinite amount of times until you finally make it! PU teaches you to percept this as 'improving yourself' illusion. It's a powerful thing. Similar to sales - the more people knows about your product, the bigger the possibility of purchasing is. Only PUA teaches you, how to sell yourself. If product is bad then it will just require 1000 more attempts to sell it, but people will buy. The same principle goes with PUA.

Good luck!

Hey again,

Today I went out and spoke to some random people, and had a pretty cool, fun time. Only problem was they were all dudes (obviously not in a sexual way!!). This one dude I had a great convo with and would have been a great friend, but I thought it was kinda gay to ask his number. Now if only I can extrapolate that to women.

Now here's a problem that's come up: hired guns. What the deal? How can you tell whether they are actually talking to you for real or are simply being nice because it's their job? I always laugh at dudes who try to pick up those promo girls (i.e like those Red Bull girls who hand them out sometimes and the ones in clubs). It's futile, they're being nice/flirty as it's their job, right? It'd definitely take something special for that to work. And how do you stop yourself being that weird guy who just stands there and chats to you and doesn't know when to leave? Obviously these people can't be rude to you when they normally may be, as they'd be fired or get in trouble with their boss. I mean, I know first-hand as I get it all the time at work (OK, not in a sexual way but yeah, there are some crazys out there). I often have great conversations with hired guns, but only about what they are doing/ the product. I never know if they are being nice because they have to though.

Also with those situational openers, how would you turn that into something? Just asking where the toilet is, and then making a full blown conversation out of it sounds odd. And wouldn't they be like 'uhh don't you need the toilet??' I can understand other stuff, like today there was this hot chick ordering at McDonalds and I was thinking of asking her if she was waiting or some crap, or what Is hould order or what she is ordering (I dunno!!!). But AA got me... I dunno, it just seems unnatural, as you don't see that happening all that often.

Thanks all for your replies and constructive criticism, I never expected to get much feedback as there's so many topics, so this is great!!

(PS pushkidman, can't believe you don't recognise my name. It's Edge's WCW name. Yeah...this is why I don't get laid LOL)

yeah dude, its totally the looks.

But how the fuck did i get girlfriends when i looked like a piece of shit?

Please explain.