Hey guys,

We all have imperfections. The hard thing about imperfections is admitting that we have them, and fixing them. But admitting to them is the first step in eliminating them. So I'll list here all the faults I am aware that I have.

• 1. I over analyze most social situations.
  2. I am quite argumentative.
  3. I lack confidence.
  4. I tend to think too much before acting.
  5. I swear too much.
  6. I can be boring sometimes, and too hyper other times.
  7. I am inconsistent. In other words, I occasionally have great days where I talk to everyone and I'm funny and make people laugh, and I feel great. Most other days, though, I struggle to be well liked and I over analyze.
  8. I try too hard to please people - I try to be funny, mainly.
  9. I lack discipline in goal setting and reaching my goals. I will often set goals and just forget about them.
  10. Most of these social faults can lead to an awkward conversation - I find myself not knowing what to say next, and what funny things I can say next.

These are my top 10 faults that I am aware I have. Now, here is a list of ten qualities I want to have.

• 1. Positive.
  2. Popular.
  3. Confident - Alpha.
  4. Well liked.
  5. PUA, or at least successful with women.
  6. Disciplined.
  7. Set in my ways - I want to know where I'm going and what I want to do.
  8. Independent - I don't want to have to look to others to make decisions.
  9. Fun and adventurous.
  10. A great conversationalist; I want to be able to have a good conversation with anyone at any time - even (and especially) strangers.

If you can give me advice on how to get rid of my faults and / or become any of these qualities, please do so. Also, if you have any faults or qualities you want to attain or reject, please post them here.

Thanks.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

content with who you are. It comes with time and a lot of experience. You are on a painfull mission, my friend, but you will be rewarded if you never quit.

Don't question yourself and learn from your mistakes. Don't break the law and everything will be O.K.

_________________
Walk Hard

magnum, stop with your cancerous beliefs.

This man is looking to improve himself and you're trying to tell him not to. Thats fucked up.

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

This is very good... My suggestions:

First, the way you organized your post already shows your focus on the negative. It's great to be aware of your faults but awareness is not your goal. Keep them in mind but there's no need to focus on it now because it is my belief that it is extremely difficult to correct "faults" just on its own. (You'll see what I mean if you keep reading)

And "Qualities" are abstract things that means different things to different people in different times. So begin by transitioning your "qualities" list into identifiable and tangible goals. "Be more positive" can mean ANYTHING... how can one achieve this? And "popular" can also mean anything . . .

So write down exactly what "popular" means to you so that it becomes an achievable goal. It might read something like,

1. "Create and bond with a social group of around 6 guys and 6 girls who love to party with each other" (popular/well liked)

2. "Try something fun and new every week." (Fun and adventurous)

This way, you have something tangible to work with instead of abstract ideas simply floating in your head. Now, for each tangible "goal", you write down EVERYTHING you have in your power that helps you achieve your goal. So . . . for #2, it could be something like:

1. You have a car. 2. Your uncle is a scuba instructor. 3. You know how to play guitar . . . etc . . .

Now you write how you can utilize ALL your strengths to help you achieve your goals. So . .. for "You have a car", you can research and write down all the places you can go, etc . . .

Finally, this is where you write down your "faults" but you'll want to keep faults as tangible as possible. Write the things that for now, prevent you from achieving your goals. Something like, "I don't have experience with girls" as opposed to "I am not confident". Then you write down a strategy to correct these "faults".

You admit that you over analyze but seeing your list makes me think that you don't analyze enough. What you "over-do" is day dream. You go from one abstract idea to another instead of pin-pointing exactly what it is that you want to achieve and strategizing a way to achieve it. (This is analysis) And going through the process of goal setting, strategizing, and executing is exactly what makes people, "Disciplined, confident, and set in their ways . . ."

The above is a somewhat watered down version of the planning process but you get the idea. If you don't, pm me. I'll walk you through it.

Kasabi, have I ever made it clear how much I love you?

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Soon you will accept yourself to KristalNachte. I am sorry for offending you.

_________________
Walk Hard

lol who says I don't already accept myself? Just because I also accept my potential doesn't mean i don't accept myself.

_________________
Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

I bet I can turn almost any of your perceived "faults" into positive things about yourself.

1. You overanalyse social situations? You mean you are a keen, enthusiastic student of social dynamics and psychology.
2. You are argumentative? You are passionate about your beliefs and express your views with fortitude and confidence.
3. You lack confidence in *certain situations*, which you are keen to work on, but you are confident in most.
4. You think too much before acting? Sometimes, you like to organise your thoughts and plan your actions before jumping in to situations. You are responsible.
5. You swear too much? Fuck that shit.
6+7. You are unpredictable. Unpredictability is interesting, predictability is boring.
8. You love to make people smile and laugh
Etc.

Obviously work on improving aspects of your life you feel need work. But also work on being your "best self", that is framing traits and facts about yourself and your life into positives. This greatly helps when you're trying to maintain good inner game and also in telling good DHV stories to portray confidence and high value.

Thanks so much for the tips!

I have always tried to be organized, but you are very right. Whenever I have tried to improve myself (which is almost every day) I always think of the abstract 'qualities' that I want to have, but not specifically how to attain and reach those qualities.

I really appreciate the info, Kasabi, thanks.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

Thanks blondguy, this makes me feel better about myself. Although these aspects of my personality can hold me back at times, I think maybe I am overcomplicating things by focusing on these faults so much. Maybe I should aim more towards improving my qualities and gaining new qualities, as kasabi pointed out.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=