Hi,

I've been lurking here for a while, and it's made interesting and useful reading during my student years! Usually for me any problem or tips I've needed I didn't need to post, just to read other threads. However, a new situation has arisen for me, and I checked the search and stuff and can't find much on this topic so I'd love to hear your opinions / solutions. So I've registered as a fully fledged newbie and made my first post!

Here goes:

I've known a girl for over 10 years, since we were at school, and genuinely she is one of my best friends. I haven't been holding some secret desire for her all this time - she is hot but there hasn't been a burning attraction between us, we've always had other partners and just got on really well and spent a lot of time together, but not so much since we left school.

Now, we both recently split up from long-term relationships. Me about 6 months ago, Her about a month ago (she finished hers, I finished mine). Since she split up with her boyfriend, and even a bit before that, we've been going out a lot with friends, seeing a lot more of each other, and getting quite messed up and there's a mutual attraction developing in quite a weird physical way, like play-slapping each other, dressing up, biting, and other more sordid stuff - but without kissing or sleeping with each other.

So I'm starting to think - maybe I should go for it with her, we get on so well, it would be a lot of fun and who knows where it will lead.

3 problems with this

- it feels a bit incestuous, which I kinda like lol, but dont know how she feels

- she's a really good friend and the last thing I want is to mess that up

- very recently she's started whinging about missing her ex boyfriend, even though she split up with him and told me she did it because she wasnt physically attracted to him any more - but he is a cool guy and I can see that she liked him as a companion a lot. I just ignore this chat mostly or just give it the "yeah he was so great wasn't he?" routine - but it rings alarm bells for me.

So what do you think?

DANGER: Walk Away, Stay friends?

or

Go for it: if so, how to build the attraction and close without making everything awkward and ruining a friendship if the result is rejection?

Stop being her friend, be the person she is attracted too.
Don't talk to her about her ex boyfriends.
Continue doing the kino you're doing
K-close.
If rejected. then whatever, just tell her she looked like she wanted it, and stick your tongue out at her or something, and act cool. nothing is awkward unless you let it become awkward. girl's generally stay talking to the guys they reject because it's a huge ego boost.

If she rejects your k-close you start gaming other women.
Continue to game her if you want, but you've got one-itis. and you've got to understand that. Personally...I see no problem with liking a particular girl as long as you don't chase after her. Let her chase after you.

When you start gaming other girls, if she was attracted to you to begin with, she'll either say, "hey i like this guy!" and chase after you, if not she'll just be like whatever.
There's where you move on.

Personally it seems like she likes you.
I'd like to assume that any girl who touches you, or even goes as far as to BITE you, has some feelings for you.

It's better to assume she does like you, than to assume she doesn't...At least that way you can actually have your assumptions confirmed if you get rejected.


Escalate -> K-close.

yeah i hadn't really thought of it like that. I also don't see a problem with liking a particular girl, especially if you have some insight (like knowing her for 10 years), but you're right, chasing is bad.

I'm going to start gaming some other friends in her presence in a playful way, see what happens.

The opportunity for ak- close will arise sooner or later, I know that much, it's not something that needs to be engineered cos of knowing the girl. As i said to begin with its not a normal pickup. Strangers are a lot easie in some waysr!

Well...the problem I had and quite possibly have was initiating sex with my girlfriend. I always reasoned that if I hadn't dated her for so long I would have an easier time. So, in a way, I agree with you, pick up with strangers can be a LOT easier on the nerves...you get rejected, it's like, "alright, see you later" but when it's with friends...or a girlfriend, it's so nerve-wracking to think that you might make a permanent mistake. What i learned, is that if you have a feeling...it's probably right. the hardest part is just manning-up and taking it.