Should you ever flake on your OWN plans?



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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 3:40 am 
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Alright, long story short. Not going out with this girl, but we've been talking for a long time. Had a bit of a fight (dont ask) a month ago. She's over it, but much of the attraction was lost from it. I know she's in that "I want to be attracted to him phase," i can easily read she is trying to like me again. I'm at the point where I don't care, but it would be nice to give it another shot so I'm still talking with her while i talk with other women, etc.

My question is, when you are trying to re-attract someone to you, should you ever fall back on your own plans?

I told her tomorrow that I would call her at 7, and that she will pick up no matter where she is.
She said, "Why?? Youre so random"
I said something like "If you'd like to talk to more boring people, I'm sure you can find plenty. I'll talk to you tomorrow at 7 :]"

She sent me another text, but I'm ignoring. (she loves loves loves to ignore, although i think it's childish, but wtv).

I'm wondering now if I DONT call tomorrow at 7, if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Our "relationship" is pretty brittle at this point.. it's almost like we are starting fresh but theres a lot of history. I'd also like to point out that she NEVER answers her phone, even from her friends. ANd has no voicemail.

In short.. is it ever good to flake out on your own plans? My instincts say no, but a lot of this stuff is counter intuitive.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 7:51 am 
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call at 7.30.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 9:22 am 
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Our "relationship" is pretty brittle at this point..
maybe thats because you have nothing more than a phone relationship (by the sounds of it).....why arent you seeing her?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 10:14 am 
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If you said 7 you should call 7. I like honesty very much. I also like sticking to the plans I made.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:44 pm 
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Before getting to Brendan's post I was thinking exactly what he so bluntly put.

Call at 7.30

You've DHVd her, she curious about your call, she's going to be waiting for it. Not calling at the exact time you so clearly specified will worry her, she may even end up calling you if it causes enough anxiety in her.

If you outright decide not to call her, she'll take it as if she overbuilt it and get bored.

When you do call her late, wait for her to neg you, through telling you you're late etc. This is your cue to DHV again using your time as being very valuable etc. If she doesn't give you the cue quickly enough then lightly apologise and lead in to the DHV.

From there, continue conversation however you've got it planned out in your head.

Good luck.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 3:56 pm 
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Question: "If someone says they are going to call you at a certain time you expect them to follow through?"

This.....waiting to call till 7:30 is something a child would do. If you tell a girl you are going to call her, be a man and hold to your promises unless you have a legit reason to not do so. The fact of the matter is, if she is really wanting to talk to you anyway she is going to worry if your even going to call when you say you will.

A man should stick to his word!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:19 pm 
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Quote:
Question: "If someone says they are going to call you at a certain time you expect them to follow through?"

This.....waiting to call till 7:30 is something a child would do. If you tell a girl you are going to call her, be a man and hold to your promises unless you have a legit reason to not do so. The fact of the matter is, if she is really wanting to talk to you anyway she is going to worry if your even going to call when you say you will.

A man should stick to his word!
A man isn't a PUA...

Messing with her head is a good idea, you should consistently toy with her and continue to build attraction and thoughts in her head.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:22 pm 
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Blow her off and find something better to do, and if she asks why you didn't call tell her the truth. You had something better to do, better yet watch Moulin Rouge. Wall-E or some other cute chick flick with some other chick.

Now here's why, don't ever be specific about when you're calling her. It makes you look like a punk ass. There's no mystery, it's way better to just say you'll talk to her later. And if you don't call that's fine she doesn't know when you're calling so she'll be on the look out for it, instead of giving her the chance to ignore you by specifying when the verbal dick is coming her way.

As far as the chick flick scenario goes, TRUST ME. SHe'll go bat shit crazy trying to figure out why you didn't invite her. This is all assuming she asks why you didn't call. If she doesn't well, fuck it move on. You just had a amazing night with someone else. =P


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:21 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Our "relationship" is pretty brittle at this point..
maybe thats because you have nothing more than a phone relationship (by the sounds of it).....why arent you seeing her?
She's really fucking weird man.. I've seen her twice, and she's completely normal. We get along great. But texting, since she won't do anything else, she is that typical childish girl. It really pisses me off.

I think I'll call her around 7:15. I have class till 7, so wtv. If I don't get an answer, I'm done.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 11:25 pm 
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Well, called at 7:15. No answer.


PAYCE


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 12:04 am 
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For the record, don't make a habit of messing with a girl like this. Always try to keep them happy, having a great time and loving your company.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 3:26 pm 
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Playing with her mind and calling later will only set the precedent that it is okay to play childish games. She will do the same back to you and you will get pissed (mad at your own game that you started!). If you want people to act a certain way, the best thing you can do is set an example to follow....and then reward them (with attention) when they do things that you like.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:22 pm 
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maybe call at like 7:05 haha

i think the main thing people are saying it try to stick to what you said, but don't wait around for it to be time to call.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:39 am 
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Playing with her mind and calling later will only set the precedent that it is okay to play childish games. She will do the same back to you and you will get pissed (mad at your own game that you started!).
if you make it obvious that you are purposely playing childish games then yes. she shouldn't pick up that youre playing games at all.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 11:00 am 
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you can wait for her to try and contact you now, and let her try and win your attention

whats' your history with her?

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