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ok after reading your post all the way through, from what I can see is that you're well and truly into the friends zone with her. I'd ignore all that drunk behaviour that shes done because it sounds like shes just fucking around like people do when they are drunk.
So personally, my way forward here would be to be different around her from what you've been like so she can see you in a different light, by all means I don't mean go out get a new haircut, listen to marilyn or take up cross stitch.
But change the way you are and deal with her, like you mentioned about her being anti-neg , so you don't do it as much. Why can't you neg her if you want to then if she throws a huff and offended tell her to 'behave' and pretend to pick up a rattle and give it to her. You know you aren't insulting her and after 2.5 years so should she ....so why be put her up on a pedestal? If she pushes the matter after that, just laugh it off and realise how daft she is being.
Also read some david deAngelo about sending mixed signals and disqualifying yourself, like flirt like hell with her, make sexual innuendos then say you work so well as just friends. The fact you've opened up to her about your feelings might make her think 'whats changed'. Also, there is some dispute I believe with this but I hate giving a straight answer straightaway unless its a no, I believe style has a few videos on youtube about making a girl jump through your hoop before you jump through theirs.
well there's my take on your situation, it may be a kill or cure strategy but what I can see is that worst case scenario is that you'll end up back in the friends zone.
ps: don't kick yourself in the balls till she agrees to kiss them better
There's no point in negging your friend. The point of a neg is to lower a girl's self esteem for a short moment so you have a chance to DHV. Your friend obviously knows where you two stand with regards to value so a neg is pointless and it will be taken as an insult if your personality is not normally like that.
The only way to play this is to show her that you are a sexual being and that you want her. Behave very sexually around her and create some sexual tension.