So a few weeks ago I met this girl, and made a stupid move (put my arm around her without having done any previous kino) at which point she said "woah, just friends!"

Ok, whatever... no big deal really. But we were out again this weekend and this time I actually was doing some kino. Partially just to practice, but as we went on it got more natural and more mutual. The problem was that this girl is a pretty heavy drinker, and when I'm around a heavy drinker I subconsciously try to keep up. This led to me _possibly_ kissing her, but not being able to remember for sure.

So now it's her birthday, and I'm wondering if I should send her a quick text or not. (I already said happy birthday on her facebook page.) The thing is, I'm not sure I'd actually be interested in dating her or anything... but don't want her pissed off at me either. If I could angle a friends with benefits deal out of this that'd be cool...

tell her happy birthday for gods sake who cares.

A happy birthday text won't hurt, just keep it playful:

"I got you a crazy elephant for your birthday... but the cops caught me on my way out of the zoo. I guess the sunglasses didn't disguise it well enough... too bad you'll have to settle for a text. Happy Birthday"

Ha. That was the first thing that came to mind so definitely make it to your own liking and style. You said you're hanging out with her this weekend, so just keep up the game in person.

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"Vincit Qui Se Vincit"

Cool, thanks. I tried to keep it in the spirit of your idea but I think she missed the joke. May just use your's verbatim for another girl's birthday tomorrow.

Good deal, man. Let me know how it goes for you tomorrow.

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"Vincit Qui Se Vincit"

Ok, so texted her in the morning with the elephant joke. She just said "ha ha, thanks!"

After work though I got a text saying "blah blah blah we should get birthday drinks sometime soon "

Me: You'll have to wait until march to buy me a birthday drink
Her: I meant my birthday
Me: I know. I'm going out with a friend tomorrow night, you should come. Otherwise my only free day is thurs."


Haven't heard back on that one, and it's been a couple hours.

Odd, though. You'd think on her birthday, around dinner time she'd be with her boyfriend... not texting the guy she dumped for him.

So next step? No response from girl2 at all, was thinking of texting her tomorrow night and seeing if she was up for that birthday drink.

I set up a think with my meetup group that girl1 had requested too, and she hasn't rsvp'd yet... so will probably just send her a quick txt saying "you are coming right?"

Grr...

Texted girl2 to see if she wanted to get together for that birthday drink, and it's a go. 5 minutes later, "Jen's coming too! " Bleh... so much for thinking she wanted some alone time with me.

Girl1 never replied because she's been sick, so I guess things are going ok there... except for the sick part of course.

Most of the time, you need to look at certain "roadblocks" as advantages. Use this situation to get in with her friend. If her friend likes you, she may 'talk you up' in a way. Be laid back, cool, have fun, and flirt with Jen. Later on that night, this Jen girl might say, "You're friend Onoma is a really fun/cute/cool/etc guy."

_________________
"Vincit Qui Se Vincit"

Oh god no, not nearly so simple. Jen _is_ interested in me, and she's... well let's just say that I made an attempt once when I was WAY too drunk but don't want to head down that path.

To make things worse, at some point she invited her boyfriend out. He showed up way late... in the mean time I did some light kino, and kept it up... actually I think I increased it a bit after he showed up. Lingering touches while handing off darts and such, making sure to touch her elbow or lower back at a couple points. Eventually she started getting even more touchy with him. So... is that "back off I'm taken" or "I feel guilty so I'd better placate my guy?"

Also we usually race home since she lives close to most places than me, so I texted her a "who got home first" thing and when she said she was already home I just said "d'oh! you two kids have fun then! "

Overboard? Bad move?

Just curious...

No response from her on that...

So tonight we were together again, movie night. she ended up sitting next to me, and a few of us went back to her place for drinks. Flirting, toucning and such again... then her boyfriend showed up.

Anyway, end of night... she was worried about me driving home drunk. She hops into her "guest bed" and wants me to hop in with her to see how comfortable it is. Because, you know, most people who have slept together and then broke up because of another guy are comfortable laying in the same bed while aforementioned other guy is in the next room over. Like I was going to stay to listen to them fuck or something.

Throughout the night I was doing some light (stage 1 & 2) kino. Didn't want to escalate past that among a crowd of people who know the boyfriend... but still it's not like she was unwelcoming.

Why is it every time I decide it's time to just forget this one I get some kind of feeling she's actually interested in me?

never give a rats ass about a boyfriend when she's open for it!

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True communication is communion―the realization of oneness, which is love! ~ Eckhart Tolle

You know, a few weeks ago I had decided not to care about her having a boyfriend... then because of the other night I decided she must not be that interested in me so I'd back off. If it hadn't been for that...