Do you want to go bowling?

Why is this so hard for me? I have been typing for over an hour the same sentence- Over and over again. I think it is because I care about this girl, katherine, and I don’t want to say anything stupid.

So my past experiences have enabled me to be cautious in dealing with a female I like. What do I have to lose by asking her to go bowling with me?

#1 her respect. She will lose respect for me when I ask her if she wants to go bowling with me.

#2 if she says no, we will never hang out again. Because after a girl has told me NO I have never gone out with her after that.

#3 It will appear that I like her very much, and I don’t want her to know that I like her, because in the past when I like the girl, the girl NEVER likes me in return. But I know it's NOT TRUE.

#4 I think she will hate me for having to do things to me that I never did to myself. Teach me manners etc.

#5
#6 it will prove to me, if she says NO, that I care more about her than she cares about me.

#7 If she says no, it will mean that she doesn’t like me.

#8 if she says no, it will mean I am not worthy

#9 if she says NO, it will mean that I am a worthless loser in her eyes, not important enough for her time.

#10 I don’t know what the best course of action is.

I don’t think it would be a good idea to text or email her if she wants to go bowling. I also don’t think it would be a good idea to wait for an hour to ask her in person. I would feel like a stalker. I think the best Idea is to act like I don’t care.


I think all of these above thoughts are negative. They are there to keep my heart from being hurt. I have lost many women in my life. I am O.K. with that. I can continue to move on and to go for new women. I will build myself up into a king of kings. I will deserve a women who is good for me.

I am a positive person, and I realize that I can get rejected. My self image won't be affected by rejection. Rejection should only make it stronger. I look forward to any comment she has to say, because I am confident in my abilities and my conquest. I'm confident if she doesn’t choose to spend time with me then she will be at a lose. I know this from the bottom of my soul.

Then why do I hesitate to ask her? I think the reason is because I don’t want to get hurt, but why does it hurt if I am better than her. Because I am not better than her. I'm an amazing person, but I am not better than anyone. I am her equal even though she is 6 years younger than me. Then why do I care so much about this girl? Because this girl could tell me the same thing the last 3 women in my life have-- they can say, NO.

Saying NO is not a big deal. But not being able to accept being in the friend zone is a big deal. That caused me to loose Jill. And being needy caused me to loose Jessica (HOT ten who made out with me). So what do I do with Katherine? Ask her to go bowling. If and when she says no then I can just forget about her.

To me choosing between asking her and not: is better left if I never asked her to begin with. Why do I assume she will automatically say no? Because In my experience, I know that she probably doesn’t want to spend her time with me doing this. Because the way I feel about her, she most likely doesn’t feel the same way in return.

I can ask her to come with me to go bowling, but I am deathly afraid of her telling me no. I don’t want to deal with the pain of rejection. I have dealth with it enough times to be confident in who I am, so I don’t have to deal with it anymore.

I don’t want to go bowling, but I do want to hang out with the girls. How do I get what I want?

First thing is to not take myself so seriously. I need to relax.

2nd I need to do is ask them. If they say no that is not a relfection of how they feel about me.

So I feel like a loser because I am supposed to overcome my fear of rejection. I am not a loser. I am just cautious. And being cautious will get me a stable relationship. I don’t have to be fearless and head strong in order to get a women. Maybe to get a slut, but that is O.K. I don’t want a slut.




Karina just popped in my mind, a totally different girl, and now I am "right now" I am sending a message to a her on facebook. I think I gave up on Katherine already or something. Do I care? Yes! Do I want to care, no? Do I want sex, yes? Can I get sex? NO.

I am afraid that if I talk to Karina then Katherine won’t like me. I don’t seem to end up getting with a girl because I flirt too much with other girls. Maybe it is not because I am flirting but because of something else. Maybe I need attention in order to feel good about myself. Maybe I feel like I have been rejected to many times.

So If I am rejected by Katherine without even asking her to go bowling with me, what does that say? It says that I am a quitter. I quit on Jill because I didn’t think it was healthy to be in a long term relationship with her. Now things are different. I want to date Katherine like a wife. I still don’t want to ask her to go bowling with me.


Sincerely,
Magnum45

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Walk Hard

magnum, you need serious professional help.

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Or at least a new thread, and preferably in the newbie discussion judging by the content of that post.

Seriously, nobody be sarging any LA Fitness Latin Dance classes anytime soon.

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"PUA", as the guy says in the first post, meaning "pickup artist", so we are talking about a subculture of people with a structure involved, that grants them that rank. This rank and culture was invented by "Mystery" and thus we are not referring or talking about the natural act of attraction OR pickup, rather the sub group of people, their idea of "pickup" and its consequences. Read my post! I clearly say method.
Lastly, I can safely say that "structured, PUA, pickup" is all 80% about acting. the rest being influences on hypnosis etc..

--------- [/quote]



Honestly man why are you on a PUA site if you don't like PUA? Think about it. and I totally agree with Jezabelle on the fact that being a PUA is about psychology. Not only that but if you wanna be a good PUA, a PUA that is ethical, then it takes A LOT OF TIME AND EFFORT!!! You don't become good at something by wishing you were...PRACTICE, that's what it takes. Becoming a PUA makes you a better more rounded person. It makes you more interesting, and people want to be around you. It helps get sucidial guys out (I KNOW, I WAS ONE OF THEM). As Mystery says its more than picking up girls, its building a life!

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Time to make some women dream about us!!!

You can't even see what is right in front of you.

Where in life can you go if you are Mystery? The only thing he is good for is pick up. He can't get a normal job -- dressed like he does, and he can't run for office because of his instablitly. He is a pickup artist because he has to be. Because of his personality according to Style.


Yea I know I got my issues, but so do all of you. Don't try to condem me because you don't understand my problem. This is a moral and ethical choice. I am trying to find people here who know what morals are. NOT the people who are completely lost to the value system of American Soicety.

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Walk Hard

ever think he doesn't want to have a 'normal' job or run for office? I know I sure as hell don't want either of those.


and we all know what morals are, most of us being highly moral people.

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Ok this is really annoying, all the threads badolzon is posting gets fuck up and squeezed to the side because of his stupid picture of himself.

This is a PUA forum not a gay dating site, I don't care what you look like, please minimize that picture now!

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.............
Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html

Do you believe that there is one set of moral truths in nature that we must follow?

Or do you believe that moral truth is relative to the indivudal perception?

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Walk Hard

that on thar.

aside from the basics of "be good to eachother"

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Well personally speaking I don't want to be Mystery. Neither do I want to be David DeAngelo, Richard La Ruina or any other PUA. I don't care for a normal job either, but all the same personally, there's more to my life than pick up. I have other ambitions, this is just an area of my life I wanted to get handled then I can move onto the next thing, though other aspects of my life are ongoing anyway alongside pick up.

Also yes we are all moral thanks, however define morality? Do you mean morality on purely religious terms which sometimes go against human nature and our desire or morality which is just common sense?

Frankly I feel absolutely no guilt whatsoever for my sexual desire and in some cases fetishes. None of these involve harming or mistreating women in any way so why should I feel guilty?

Cards on the table; i do feel guilty at times, but its only around people who know of it but are too insecure to admit it can help them.

but i think it was style who said "if your friends truly are your friends, then they will support you through the positive changes in your life you are making regardless".

will i stop because of haters? no.
I even was a hater when a friend first talked to me about it and now i wouldnt go back to being the shy person i was before.

love the attention too much now

Amen. Why not eliminate all avatars? Go to a gay site and look at the pics. The same stuff. Guys with gelled hair, guys with slutty looking broads in their arms, etc.

mines Kaylee from Firefly

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Socrates, Jesus, Martin Luther King would all argue that there is only one set of moral truths across all cultures. Each culture goes about doing the same thing in different ways. Example: Hindus don't eat cows because it is murder. Christians don't murder people. Hindus believe cows are spirits of people. Universal moral truth -- do not murder.

If we have enough power to manipulate women to get the pussy -- we are in violation of two immoral acts.

#1) we are selfishly getting what we want from the women because we believe she wants it to. We are devaluing her choice, because we say "She is illogical and emotional" Therefore we can choose for her, using routines, and we don't feel bad.

We should respect a woman’s choice even if it's irrational. If we sell ourselves, to a women, using gimmicks and "pitches" we won't feel like she feel in love with the true person we are. We can rationalize and say there's nothing wrong with spicing up the way I present myself.

Although, some PUA’s lose there identity in the array of spices they use to interact with women. They forget who they where, and they become nothing but PUA. Example: Style & Mystery. Style says,"I spent my whole life being a virgin". He doesn't believe he has anything of value to a women. He doesn't believe in being "himself" because he doesn't believe in anything they possess to be of value without spicing it up a little.

Sure! Spicing it up can be nice when you don't communicate well with others, but when you become nothing but a spice rack fit to match each girl, you lose yourself.

It's like constantly gauging a girl we are with to determine if she likes the spice I am using. This PUA mentality will not enable me to "be myself". It is fundamentally flawed.

The second immoral act is disrespecting yourself. If you don't believe you can be with a girl by being yourself then you are in-need of inner game. You will never be stable in a long term relationship. To be in a long term relationship you have to be yourself. You can't not use a spice to get an exotic treat and then expect her to stay around.

Using spices to get exotic treats creates a new problem for many PUA's -- a hard time keeping girls. Because they are unable to be themselfs they lose guidance after the routines runs out. Using a routine to get with a girl will not provide a steady relationship, unless you are the routine. If the routine becomes a part of who you are, and the women understands it's apart of your personality -- I can see how she will accept you, but it is very dangerous because there is a fine line between incorporating a routine into your life, and taking a spice off the self for a one time use.

I don't have the answers yet. I feel confident I will. I still need to feel loved by a woman because my mother was irrational, and unstable, although I am O.K. with being rejected by a girl. Jill wants to be my friend, but she doesn't see me as a boyfriend. O.K.

I am O.K. with rejection because I respect her decision. I know I could learn these routines and sleep with her. Hell, all I have to do is pressure her and she will put out. I don't want to pressure her. I want the girl to decide to be with me because I am congruent with who I am. I don't act different around her than I do with my friends. I am who I am and I don't need a women to accept me inorder to believe I am a good person.


Sure! Some of you guys have been yourselfs your whole life, and have failed with women. Failure should be a learned experience. Grow into a better person, both with women and friends. If you focus on getting better with women, you will be on a road to a dead end. Focus on improving your life and being more positive. Self-help -- NOT PUA.


Sincerely,
Magnum45

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Walk Hard