Ok, so I was talking to this girl last week and we seemed to hit it off. I missed the chance to actually ask her number, but she was supposed to come out to something tonight... only I just learned she won't be able to make it.

I've found her profile on facebook (basically at one point someone asked her last name because they thought they knew her,) so I'm thinking I could message her. I will probably see her again eventually, but lately I've developed a habit of being too patient and losing out on a girl.

I just don't know what to say at this point, maybe:

"Hey, was hoping we'd get to see each other tonight. I had a great time talking to you the other night, though. We should get together for a beer sometime."

How can I improve that?

Well that sounds stalkerish. Next time you see her, just pop the all common question....Can I add you on Facebook? You can twist it up and be like, "Can I be one of your 1000 friends on FB?"

Out of experience lol I can tell you that doing it the way you are trying without really letting her know that you know her name would seem stalkerish and for a lack of a PUA term, desperate.

Adding someone you just met as a friend on facebook or myspace or writing them a message is an absolutely terrible idea! What it says to her is, "I really want to fuck you, but I chickened out when I saw you." I know this because whenever I get a friend request and a message saying "we should hang out" from a girl I take her to a bar, have 2 drinks, take her home and f-close. Just hope you see her again, and hope you didn't already blow your chance. Because, let's face it, girls don't give second chances.

Good luck!

That's kind of what I was afraid of. I just have lost a couple girls recently due to waiting too long, and would hate to miss the chance again.

What about emailing her through another format? We met through gatherings on meetup.com, and I could email her through that instead. I've just noticed that not everyone seems to get the email when sent through there. (Actually the first time we met I sent her a quick "Hi, it was nice meeting you tonight" email and never heard back... so not sure if she just didn't reply or what.)

If I went that route would what I wrote above be good?

sending her a message on facebook isnt that bad in my opinion. wouldnt suggest you add her as a friend. send her a message to start with. if shes interested or curious she'll add you. dont ask her out on facebook. just use facebook to get her number then set a meet up over the phone.

i wouldnt use the message you wrote. first off dont start by saying hey bla bla unless you told her you were going to message her. she might not remember you depending where you met, what time is was, how long its been since then. also saying i was "hoping" to see you tonight probably not the best thing to say. your message should be short, show no interest, say something that gets her curious and wants to find out who it is.

hope that helps a little...

Bingo. use facebook to get the number...

but do NOT say something like "Hi, it was nice meeting you tonight". Seriously, with all due respect that is quite possibly the most boring line anyone could ever come up with and send....plenty guys do it...but you dont want to be one of them trust me.

1. be cocky/playful...normally a personal joke go's a long way...bring up something that you spoke about in your last chat and play on that.

2. write as if you dont need her approval, she needs to see that you really dont care what she thinks of you. this displays confidence AND value.

i made a thing of writing the most outrageous shit to women on facebook to test the limits...after sending these messages i often thought to myself 'fuck fuck fuck thats probalby not going to go down too well with her!'...well youd be surprised..i have better responses then the more conservative approach that i used to have. you are basically conveying confidence through writing...and this is done by issuing remarks that show you dont give a dam. (im not saying be a psycho...just be playful and write as you would to your close friends...and tease the shit out of them...good lord they love this...)