| One of the things I love about this message board is that I've got two responses, and both from different sides of the aisle.
Good stuff, gentlemen.
I still contend that even if you have "technique" the thing that makes it work is that you mustered the confidence in the first place to go try it out. Confidence is what is sexy.
I was hopeless and helpless when it came to meeting women, dating women, even talking to women. Oh, I might get a girlfriend from time to time accidently - not really sure how I did it - and then have her dump me after a while. And the crazy thing was, I thought I was the ONLY GUY in the world who felt this way. I thought I was unique when it came to being single.
But, as it turns out, the more I thought I was unique, the more I found out I was the same as A LOT of other guys.
Let me explain that a bit.
I could zero in on a problem area of my life - for example, being dateless - and convince myself I was THE ONLY MAN with this issue. The more I would worry about it, the more acute the problem became. I was hyper-aware of other guys with girlfriends and dates, and it seemed every guy I knew had no problems meeting women.
Have you ever felt like that? Gone out somewhere and it seems like EVERY guy had a date or a girl with him? And that you were somehow missing the boat, and it would probably always be that way?
I think you and I both know this condition is a lot more common than it first appears. If you don't know it - trust me, it's true. Almost every man goes through a period of time where he feels this way. But the tragic thing is, some guys NEVER get out of it. It's what you might call the wrong attitude.
But in my experience, terminal single-ness isn't a unique thing - and it isn't beyond repair.
Since I've been teaching men to be successful with Dating and Women, I've gained tons of insight and experience into the right attitude that makes being successful work.
I wasn't born into the right attitude or the wrong attitude. So let me start by saying that getting to the point in my life where I had the wrong attitude took some time. Years and years of not being successful had its consequences. Going through life doing the wrong things with women built up my attitude toward women and dating, and became WHO I WAS.
I went through the actions, and became that person. I became the guy who didn't do well with women.
The good news is the same can be said for getting the right attitude.
It doesn't happen overnight. But it does happen.
You can start taking the right actions, and become that person, too.
Have you ever heard the advice, "If you want to be rich, hang around rich guys and do what they do." ?
Well, that's were I'm headed with this.
The approach I took was sort of a "fake it til you make it".
I got a hold of new skill sets, techniques, pick up lines, the works. Lots of good stuff, all of which wasn't part of who I was - but was part of who I wanted to be. I wanted to be a guy who always said the right things to women - things that would make them think of me as a boyfriend, sexual partner, a man - anything other than "another friend" or some creep. I wanted to be the guy who had tons of women to date.
That's where training, coaching and learning come into to play. Like with anything else you want to learn, you start with the basics, some repetitive actions, and build a new skill set. The real magic happens when that stuff starts to become automatic.
It starts to become who you are.
One of my favorite things to do was to start presenting myself as the guy I wanted to be. Just to my friends at first.
So my attitude was, "I'm the guy in our group who gets all the women". Anytime something like that would come up in conversation, I'd react and act like "the guy that gets all the women".
It wasn't too long before I started to become known as that guy. That was the beginning of the change in attitude.
Fast forward to now, I teach men everyday how to be successful with women.
Along the way, getting to that point, EVERYBODY would ask me "how to do it".
Questions like, Where do you FIND these women? What do you say to them? How do you know when to kiss a women? Etc. etc.
I really had to think about it. I mean, did really know exactly what to say? I must have, because I was good at meeting women. Usually, I just winged it - just went up and started talking to them. I knew it was going to be a challenge to get the answers the guys wanted and needed, because it wasn't easily defined.
I just knew how and when to do it. I was a natural.
In the process of thinking about it and breaking it down - I was able to retrace the path to becoming this dating guru that everyone turned to. With some time and effort I was able break it down. I couldn't remember, for example, EVERYTHING I said - but I started to see some consistencies in situations and conversations that just seemed to work.
Some naturals are just born that way - the rest of us have some work to do to get there.
That work is the techniques, the experience, the lines - the nuts and bolts of the actions I took to get to the point where I had a change in attitude, and I was supremely successful with women.
Because you can get "pick-up lines" anywhere. There's tons of great stuff out there - just ask me. I've bought and read and practiced it ALL.
But to make them work, you have to be coming from the right mindset. The right attitude. All the technique in the world is ultimately useless if it's just a technique and doesn't transform who you are.
Don't get me wrong - just knowing SOME of the inside info, like what to say and where to go, etc...helped me be much more successful than I EVER was before. But I still could feel that something was missing. Or I'd eventually be "discovered" as not the guy who pulled off the pick- up once I started dating these newfound women.
I couldn't just come off at the beginning as a natural - then revert back to my old patterns of being a wimp with women. That was the trouble with techniques and lines - women constantly TEST you to see if you are for real. The HATE weakness in a man, and will try to expose it whenever they can to get to the real you.
But as long as the real you IS that strong, attractive, confident MAN that got her attention in the first place - she'll be there until you decide to cut her loose. Bank on it.
Women are always looking for a reason to "eliminate" you from their consideration, hence the "tests". But here's the big thing I discovered - they're also looking for a reason to fall for you. Which reasons - what evidence - do you want to give her?
I think we all know how to make a woman run screaming from the room - but not every man knows how to make her attracted right away.
The best thing you can do is make a decision. Now.
That you want to get this area of your life handled, and kill your inner-wimp.
Then, get ahold of some technique - and start practicing. Now.
Find guys who are good with women and watch them in action. Befriend them. Ask them questions. Do whatever you need to do get some advice and get moving forward.
The key is, if you aren't born a natural - like very very few men are - then you can and should become a natural. Stop waiting around for something to happen and take some action. Dive in, make some mistakes, learn new things. to tell you it can be done. A lot easier than you might think. _________________ ~ This Link to My Dating and Attraction Website - Free Content and More ~
www.modernmalelifestyle.com
|
CHAT
