I'm sure you've all had a crush before, the feelings I have are probably synonymous with the feelings you've had. They come into class, your heart beats and you act DIFFERENT - this whole "acting like something else" is what I hate, I hate with a passion, it's as if I know I'm doing it but can't control it, like it's subconscious.

How do you stop it?

The thing that bothers me is I'm not like this around anyone else, even around other attractive people. Sure I get a variation of 'that feeling' around someone I find really attractive, but I can control it in those situations. When I'm around this particular person I can't...

Now for the record I am gay and I'll inevitably get answers like
"Dude, do you even know that he's gay?"
or
"Would it even matter how you acted?"

But the fact is I could care less of either, as I'm not trying to have sex with him, I just want to be able to control my ability to act around these people like I would otherwise act around anyone else.

I just don't know how to go about that, I don't understand the mindset...like, must I go in pretending they don't exist? Or that I hate them? Why do I care so much about what they think anyway? I bet that's the problem, the sort of irrational fear that I'd "embarrass" myself in front of them, I just want that "I don't care" mentality and can't figure out how to find it

It means your nervous, just chill dude. Don't even make it a big deal that your talking to the target and all that.

First things first: close your eyes (not actually necessary, but it helps), take a slow deep breath. when you do this you need to first breath into your - well I'm not sure what to call it in English but in Chinese it's your DanTien, it's a few inches below your navel - then your stomach, and lastly your chest. while you do this clear your mind. the inhale itself should take at least 5 to 7 seconds when done correctly, the exhale another 5 to 7.

<p>The exhale is also nice and slow. When you do this, you push the air out of your dantien, then stomach and then chest. Continue to clear your mind.

<p>If you do this whenever your stressed, it will inevitably calm you down. if you want to get a better understanding of this type of breathing study meditation.

_________________
"Send me a red-head,
Send me a brunette,
Send a blonde to me.
When I unwind, I'm colorblind,
They're all the same to me."

Maybe you're right, maybe I'm just overthinking it
I think they call it diaphragmatic breathing in English, I'll definitely try it and let you know

Before I approach really beautiful women I always try to find flaws on them, it could be tiny insignificant things but when you realize that they are not perfect the approach becomes easier. Maybe this would help you relax

_________________
.............
Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html

We all face this, and not even just when we get a crush. It is normally that you act different with everyone you see, especially those you see as high status, for instance that is what you do when you have a crush.

The best thing I can think off is braking the ice. Things just flows so much more naturally when you are not nervous, and the only way of doing that is pushing your limits. Do something you don't want to do, like asking personal questions, give out a random statement e.g. All in all you just have to move your comfort zone, in order to be relaxed.

- Exerio

hmm

It's funny because I don't consider these crushes as people of 'high status', just some regular run-of-the-mill people that I have an attraction to. I think I'll take your advice and try to break the ice more, not necessarily to get into a relationship but to overcome this fear, so in the case I have another crush I could manage

focus on having fun rather than "winning her over and scoring poon"

focus on smiling, enjoying yourself, and laughing.

the EASIEST way to 'get rid of anxiety"...more like FORGETTING ABOUT IT.

=]]
<33

_________________
http://highschoolpuas.proboards.com

http://highschoolpuas.proboards.com

Grape's eBook of 2009 (71 pages of useful information) http://www.scribd.com/doc/24523878/Grap ... ok-of-2009

lol grape i think you missed the memo of the OP being gay and his crush not being gay

_________________
Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future