So I'm at a party after playing a gig, and this HB who'd watched me play comes up and starts talking to me. Right off the bat she's throwing compliments about my playing and how she went crazy after we played this song and that song, and how impressed she was, was a big fan and would come watch us again for sure etc. All this while shes right in my face and occasionally touching my waist/back too (duly mirrored ofcourse). I realize Im an idiot for not isolating her and getting the fuck outta there.

Instead, I keep talking to her about the music, common tastes, influences, and my passion for my instrument and my take on how to play etc, and a little C&F here n there for a good 10 minutes. A mix of her being overly flattering (somewhat of a turnoff), + standard nerves on my side from being in the middle of people making conversation around me, made me initiate to number close. I thought I had a solid day 2: a gig I had lined up the very next night which Id talked to her about and she said shed definitely come to.

Texted her next day with the time for my show and a confirmation question, she replied with I'll def make it, grabbing dinner with a friend and Ill come after, and a question about tickets. I respond with the relevant details and cool see you tonight enjoy the meal, and a witty remark in reference to something she said from the night before.

As you figured, she flaked. No communication after that one msg, and I havent gotten in touch with her at all yet, to not give too much attention and single her out for not coming etc. I thought Id call her out on it maybe in a day or two, make her feel bad a little, at most generically invite her to my next show that's still some time later, say nothing immediate about meeting up sometime sooner. Then follow up with a random feeler some time later to see if she wants to make a spontaneous plan to meet. What do you guys think?

Im a newbie at actively picking up.. I'm not a good closer and realize I need to work on my confidence to do that. My social conditioning is a major inhibitor and Im working on shedding it but it aint easy. So some advice would be appreciated!

what was the witty remark?

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I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson

I'm no professional, but I'd probably play like I didn't notice she wasn't there. Send her text asking her if she had fun at the show.

you play in a band ...... do another gig, have another hb approach you, try out some other routines, you already have dhv by being in the band they've come to see so she has to validate herself.
Personally, I wouldn't call or txt this other girl until she got back to me 1st. She's demonstrated 2nd class behaviour by flaking and then not giving a reason, so why stand for it?

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Confucius say Man with hand in bush- not always gardener