Recently I was trying to practice "talking" with people by walking around and saying "hi" to everyone I walked by. Also, at the same time, i wanted to practice eye contact.


The problem i noticed, is that people dont hold eye contact at all. It seems as if the socially acceptable thing to do, is to look away and avoid someone your coming in contact with. At the same time, its kinda awkward trying to say Hi to someone that looks away and avoids you.

I have no problem talking to people that are friendly and are not avoiding socializing, but everyone else is very difficult.


I live in California, is this maybe just the society I live in?
Any suggestions?

Eye contact can work in both ways. Too much and it can be intimidating or just plain weird, or too little and it can show unconfidence. Its about timing and situation. When you walk into the room, make eye contact with as many girls as you can, no longer than 3 secs at a time. If they look back, give them a smile then instantly look away and onto the next girl. Keep them guessing, let them know that you like the look of them but there are plenty other girls in the club who want your attention.
If u feel a strong attraction to one girl inparticular, impliment the mystery 3 second rule.
Remember, your the prize and there are plenty competitors for this trophy!

-crowbar

Ya, i definately understand that, but what I was speaking of was when your walking down the street for example. Nobody even makes brief eye contact.

I was reading a book today and they happened to mention this as "urban trance". Basically people tend to avoid socializing, because they come in contact with so many people on a daily basis.

Im not sure if i should go along with the norm and be anti-social everywhere I go, or be "weird" and say Hi to people that are deliberately avoiding contact. Its quite a conundrum.

This makes sense. If you are walking down the street you are generally going somewhere to do some thing. Time is generally of the essence and people don't like to waste time. Now I am not saying you are a waste of time, but the environment of walking down the street is not the same as a social event where people are expected to interact such as a party, bar or club. Places that are slightly less sociable but are still areas where people gather ie parks, coffee shops, the beach, markets are places where people are more open to being approached and having a conversation.

I often walk down the street and make eye contact with people and hold it. Most break away and some hold it. Walking down the street and saying hi to people is not the best way to observe eye contact nor improve your social skills. It is understandable if you are trying to get over the fear of talking to people but the best way is to approach them in situations where they are balanced, like a bar or coffee shop. By balanced I mean they are there for a reason but they will generally not be bothered by someone starting a conversation with them as opposed to approaching people that are walking somewhere and have a set destination.

_________________
"In all things be a master.
Of what you do, say and think." -Buddha

Integra,
I completely understand where you're coming from and what you mean. I too, practice the eye contact in daytime situations, (walking down the street to the store, car, etc.) And, I too, have been frustrated by the lack of "interaction" between humans. Frankly, it makes me sick!
But you know what, KEEP DOING IT! I've come to the conclusion that people dont like to think outside their box. The assholes that dont/cant even hold eye contact for more than 2-3 secs are lacking the confidence and social skills necessary to meet someone, a stranger. Therefore, why would you even waste your time with her. So, b/c of THEIR insecurities, they rely on the "club" scene where everyone else is interacting so they can feel important and have a better interaction. i.e: They are in control! See, when YOU make the eye contact and hold that for a few secs, YOU are the one controlling the situation. Body language is everything! And your eyes are part of that body. Most people, I've learned, have egos that are so helplessly fragile, that they HAVE to do what everyone else is doing so that precious ego stays in tact. (i.e: Fear)
Keep contacting bro! Dont let the assholes take you off your game. There is NOTHING wrong with saying Hi to folks and getting a reaction. I've noticed that the MORE I do it, the MORE I get that chick to look longer and give me that, "Come talk to me" or "Damn, youre Hot too" or that "Come sit down with me stupid, cant you see I'm alone" look!
Keeping contacting bro! Daygame is the easiest most effective way to REALLY meet quality women. (i.e: with jobs) Most times, they are BEGGING for a Man to come sit down and join her for lunch WITHOUT you asking. Just be gentle!
Like Trent (Vince Vaughn) says in Swingers: "You're like a Huge Bear with fangs, and she's this tiny little baby bunny rabbit waiting to be held but NOT eaten!" Be easy!

Jewels

This is gold!

YES. It very much depends on the city. I moved from Washington DC to Raleigh, NC and people hold eye contact so much longer in Raleigh, NC. They'll keep eye contact (ie: stare) to the point where it was actually very annoying for me.

It's not just because Raleigh is smaller and more personal. Hell, I live in a town thats way smaller than Raleigh right now and they don't make eye contact nearly as long or often.

I'll tell you though dude, if you fix your glance at a persons eyes it's impossible for them to ignore you. They can pretend like they dont see you, but thats about it. If you come across totally friendly and non confrontational when you're looking at the person and if you smile, it will be hard for them to not at least say hi or smile back.

Hey ya I think it can be agreed that many people lack proper eye-contact
but i use this to my advantage either an excuse for kino or to alert her of my authority eg while talking she glaces away
me: 'hey im standing her (tilt her head to my direction)..the say softly urmine until i say you can go', if u see her rejecting the comment laugh it off