Something that's been bothering me the past month or so.

I noticed someone asking the same question here, but I wanted my own topic because I had some additional questions. Everyone on the forums here are great, so I trust responses.

My freshman year at school, having sex wasn't a problem at all. I had a girlfriend for a while, and the sex was great. We broke up, nothing really happened for me for a while. Just random hook ups here and there (no sex).

Eventually, I was dating someone else.. for about three years. During all this time we didn't have sex, hardly did anything at all. I was too desperate to say anything in fear of losing the relationship, so I stuck with it. So for three years, I was at the mercy of just making out... getting kinda far, and then that was it. A tease.

We broke up after all that time, and a few months later I met someone else. We dated for a few months.. attempted sex, and oral multiple times and nothing would happen. I would reach complete arousal, and then it would stop and decline. I'm not impotent, I can do this on my own, hahah.

But when her and I split (not over sex... but that annoyed her, obviously), she accused me of being gay! I brushed that off, because I know I'm not and I figured she was saying that to piss me off. Besides, I had 3 or more hook ups and I didn't have much of a problem them with those girls. Once, with the one girl, because when things started to get further, I started thinking about my ex getting pissed at me for not performing well.

But since then, I think I've developed this sex performance anxiety. Because whenever I go back with a girl, I start freaking out. Worrying whats going to happen. And then that gay comment pops into my head and starts messing with me! haha. To the point where I get so anxious thinking about it, I don't even want to go out in fear I'll be putting myself in this situation. I'm trying to help myself though, this isn't something I talk to with my friends about.

What I've concluded is that it's a mix of me being really particular with who I'm with (the ex that accused me was not my body type at all, I think I was just on a rebound), and anxiety in itself.

try drugs!

either the pharm kind or the narcotic kind.

I hear E is good for sex.

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Hahaha, my friend actually recommended the same thing.

yea pills, mdma or coke increase sex drive, but ther can be problems with finishing, so be cafeful!!!

maybe u needed use thinner condoms

Thanks guys! Any other input is cool as well, I just did some more reading on the whole case... so I have some things I can try or work on. It's all mental.

drugs? ye thats great advice for a long term solution.

dude alot of guys have this so dont stress too much about it. it wont last long, as you said yourself it is 100% mental. you know youre not gay, so stop thinking about that, altogether.

try this...do some meditation by taking yourself back to the times when you had great sex with that first partner. visualize this every evening before you go to sleep at night, but imagine it vividly, in detail so that you can actually feel what it felt like (this takes practice but you'll get better at it the more you do it). this will retrain your subconscious. and no its not bullshit, this is exactly how us humans are able to reform new beliefs about our self, ask any psychologist and you'll find it in any self-help book on success and personal development.

also,when ever you take a girl home and the thought of not performing pops into your head, stop thinking altogether....hell if you have to imagine her being that first girl you had awesome sex with. this anxiety will go away soon i can promise you that. it takes one good shag and you'll be sorted.

Thanks man, I'll definitely keep all that in mind.

hey man there is 1 answer to all anxiety related questions . if you have a fear of sex well in your case and most other guys its actualy the pressure to preform , the only way to overcome it is to face it , you mite fail but who cares onece you dont fear what in your mind mite be failure . you will no longer have nay problems . lol its kinda confusing i no , But its a common problem .its just like overcomming approach anxiety you gota just keep feeling that fear . the game is full of these roadblocks but keep busting through em .

hope i made some sense dude

good luck

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I wanto be what I was whn I wanted to be what I am now.
Except with the same lady skills