Without a doubt your mental state is very important. A lot of people talk about getting in “the zone” before you go out but many don’t know how to do it. For me the zone is basically a clear head and a positive attitude that puts a smile on your face.
To have a clear mind you must look for ways to clear your head. Starting at your place before you go out you need to do things that are going to avoid more thoughts. For instance, looking at the bills before you go out is probably not the best idea. We already have enough to keep in mind in regards to meeting people why on earth would you add more thoughts to your mind. Personally, I have used breathing exercises and meditation to clear my head. I also find listening to music and getting a song stuck in your head works too. If the song is stuck in your head and you keep it there, it’s hard for other thoughts to come in.
Developing a positive attitude is something that takes work. For some people out there it is something they are just born with. They wake up in a good mood and are just generally happy throughout the day. Unfortunately, I was not one of these people. I had to learn this behavior or skill. Remember that this starts from the moment you wake up or before you even leave to go out. Do things that naturally put you in a better mood. For some this might involve: working out, listening to music, meditating, talking to a friend, doing some housework, going for a walk, etc.
Work to indentify little things you do in life that naturally make you happy. My routine before going out was always listening to music while stretching to get my blood flowing. Then I’d hop right into the shower. While I was in the shower the music would still be on and I’d be singing it! Getting out and getting cleaned up so that I felt the best I could. I would do a little bit of meditation to help clear my head. The while leaving the house I would call a friend that I enjoyed talking to while driving downtown. When I hit the parking garage I’d do one more short breathing exercise to clear my mind, get a song stuck in my head and start walking to the club with a smile on my face.
Everyone has their own routines that they can do. This not only can extend to meeting women but the more you do this the more it can help bleed over into your daily life as well. Remember this is a skill you have to learn and practice. The more you do this before going to work, going out with friends, or to meet new people the better you will become. When in the field meeting people it is also easy to go back into the zone if you fall out because you know what to do in order to get you there.
Smiling is another great thing you can do.
Even if its forced when you are smiling its hard to be in a bad mood or be grumpy. Before opening anyone make sure that you are smiling. Its amazing how it can help your energy level or your attitude by just smiling a little bit. Not to mention smiling is like yawning in that its contagious. When you smile at someone many times they start smiling as well.
A quick note about cramming. A lot of guys that I have talked to decide to cram for the big test before they go out. Many guys are watching videos, reading opening lines, or routines before they go out. This is not a good idea because you will end up being in your head most of the night trying to remember that line you just learned. Make sure to use material you are fluid with and have practiced using.
As Sinn tells us "thinking in the field is the enemy" and I could not agree more. You need a clear and focused mind. You are likely not going to learn a lot more by cramming. If you are using canned material you want to use lines that you have practiced and are use to using to that the delivery is good. This is not a test, this is real life so stop cramming more useless stuff in your head before you go out. With a lot of ideas in your head your are going to freeze at the moment you should be opening because your mind is busy processing stuff.
Studying is for the times in between going out. When you are getting ready to go out to meet people you need to be focused on your mental state and having FUN! When you are having fun and in a good mood you can screw up a lot of steps. Heck you can even do somethings that are completely wrong. Because when you are having FUN and can transfer it over to the girls having FUN the rest won't matter much. This is why mental state is so important to your "game."
In quick review, do things that help make you feel better before going out. Develop your routine of the things you do that help you be in a better mood. Work to clear your mind before you leave your place and do things that continue your good mood until you get to the venue. Put a smile on your face
and just focus on having FUN!
Sincerely,
Jon
CHAT
