This is sooooooo damn frustrating



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PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 2:46 am 
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alright guys I"m posting here because I really really want some help on my situation

basically, I'm a 20 year old man with everything going for me and yet i can't seem to pick up women or make friends the way I want because I don't know what to say after the intial introduction in some situations

- I'm 5'10' 220, italian, very handsome, very muscular. I get approached by women at work all the time, any girl I approach smiles and greets me very warmly 99.9% of the time. I'm also very stylish and have good social skills once I get to know a person. I know exactly HOW to deliver the words and how to have the right presence and confidence but...

my problem is this, when I'm meeting somebody, I'll say hi and smile, ask them how they're doing, and after that I'm not sure exactly what to say.

I have been told to make "situational" conversation but I find that just plain awkward in many situations.

what I want to do is approach any stranger, make situational convo extremely easily and then after that I know how to take it the rest of the way.

so I mean, what do I say when I wanna approach a man that I would like to befriend or say a a female that I would like to date on the street?

I can't do anything canned, no "openers" or "lines"

I wanna be able to chat up anybody anywhere naturally with zero effort


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 9:11 am 
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Make a list of personality traits your "perfect woman" would have, then steer the conversation in that direction so you gradually tick the boxes next to the traits in your head. That will force you to actually be interested in what she has to say.

Also, talk about anything you are really passionate about, because no matter what topic, if you are really enthusiastic about, it will appear interesting.

~TK


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 9:15 am 
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You seem to have problem with small talk. So do i sometimes. But the truth is, talking to girls is no more different than talking to the bus driver, the woman who works in the supermarket, or any random taxi driver. Just for the love of good, keep it a LITTLE bit interesting. And say everything you have to say with a smile and a little enthusiasm, then its hard to get bored.

I suggest you go train this small talk skill. Start talking to random strangers, wherever the oppurtunity comes.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:27 pm 
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Quote:
I can't do anything canned, no "openers" or "lines"

I wanna be able to chat up anybody anywhere naturally with zero effort
Note that alot of PUA's only use canned openers to start out. They allow one to concentrate on other aspects of creating attraction without having to think how to open (which is the least important part by the way!). You are clearly pre-occupied with WHAT to say...with canned lines you at least jump that hurdle and can move into the next step...as you progress you will form what you call unconscious competence, this is where everything will come naturally to you, like driving a car. You are stuck on what to say because you are worried about what she will think and whether she will approve. What topics do you chat about with your friends? speak about this stuff to women! funny/interesting stories,jokes,games,teasing...what else do us humans have to talk about anyway? focus on having fun.

Dont be too proud to use canned openers in the beginning it allows you to get experience and approach alot of women with something that is proven and tested. You will get alot more conversation experience if you are not having to thnk about the opener. Plus, you will eventually develop your own style and the canned stuff will slowly fall away.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 8:56 pm 
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I'll say hi and smile, ask them how they're doing

don't say this but start with a question and follow up with some canned material.

like '' hey do you got a minute i got a question, do you know where this bar is ? and now follow up with a story why you are searching for that bar.
HUMOR = emotion ... emotion = DHV.

i got a post somehwere at the Aproach axiety section just look for it


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:07 pm 
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Look at your environment and talk about what you see.

For example if the fish is yellow on the sign you could say "did you know yellow is the most eye catching color? They actually want to make yellow firetrucks now. :P"

Etcccc


Or tell her a bullshit story how you drove in a Camaro and crashed in the middle of nowhere etc :D

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 7:19 am 
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Sometimes you could also ask about where to find good clubs or bars or whatever, any she thinks you should check out. That in itself can turn into a conversation like "Oh yeah I've tried that place out blah blah blah", this can help build a rapport, plus if you've been to clubs before or whatever, you can maybe tell some stories about incidents while you were out. There's normally at least something if you're out often enough, that will make you laugh.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:12 am 
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If you want to be great at conversation, then don't think too much and analyze the situation.

If there's nothing to be said, then there's nothing to be said.

Sometimes you will run into girls where you really won't know what to say.

Those girls are a waste of your time because it was never meant to be.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 5:48 pm 
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Quote:
If you want to be great at conversation, then don't think too much and analyze the situation.

If there's nothing to be said, then there's nothing to be said.

Sometimes you will run into girls where you really won't know what to say.

Those girls are a waste of your time because it was never meant to be.
Or they are just boring in general.

I know some chicks who get awkward with EVERY guy.

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