Is Social Proof really THAT essential?



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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 5:23 pm 
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QFT. Social proof can be something as simple as getting people to laugh at your jokes.
Yeup, i asked my good looking coworker what she thought of me. Her reply was that she thought i was the type of guy that could land any woman that i want because i have the type of personality that can make anyone laugh and feel comfortable around me.

I found this to be quite a shock since i never approach women and what not. I believe that woman who dont know me well, but see me around the gym, think im a extremely social, since i can walk around anywhere and strike up a conversation with ANYONE (the big muscle guy in the free weights, the old lady in the sauna, the skinny kid on the machines...).

I think what it comes down to, as someone said earlier, is believing that youre THAT person.

Oh, and as far as wingmen go... my wingman is a little stress release cow named Brian >.< For some reason though, it can provide a lot of interesting conversation.

-fuzz


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 6:33 pm 
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Things out of your control? WRONG! Controlling the oceans is out of your control, saving the world from an asteroid impact is out of your control.
Getting a decent job isn't. If you're not getting a job, the reason probably lies in how you're presenting yourself. Having a social circle is also connected to how your presenting yourself, and socializing with people. Hard to take, but that's life. If you're not living like you want to, YOU will have to change that, because nobody else cares. There's been such a long time when I just didn't do things/did things, just to make other people happy, and I thought that they respected me for it. Truth is, they didn't care at all.
Okey, in other words, if you do not have what you want, how will you get it? You are the only person that is going to get it for you. It's possible!

All right, so some of the posts says that "social proof isn't that important"... YES it is! If someone claims that, they just don't understand the principles working behind each routine, every step of every method, the words in all canned material. All of that is constructed to display high social value, to indirectly show that you have social proof, even though you for the moment don't have 10 girls clinging to every arm (physical social proof may not be neccesary, but the girl must PERCIEVE you as having social proof). The goal of it all is to act ALPHA, being the center of every interaction, which equals having the highest social status in a room. That is what gives you social proof. All right, I know that social proof is when you're pre-selected by others. Fortunately you can walk into a room and display that by just telegraphing it with your body, and you can do this.

Take some girl out on a date. So what if you can't think of any exciting story from the past weekend? Next time you're out with a girl, you can tell HER that you went out with "girl nr.1", last week, and you did "blablabla" and girl nr.2 will think "oh, he's already dating someone, I bet I'll have to hurry up and try to get this guy before she does". You get where I'm going here? After maybe 10 dates, you can mention all of the previous dates as "well, I was out with a friend, _SHE_ and I did blablabla", and imediately the girl will go *BAM* "He's got female friends? This guy has got some juice"
Point is, you make friends as you go along and if you're not going to meet the girls that you've #-closed anyway (which means they're pretty much useless :wink: ), use them for social proof, stories and such. Besides, you don't have to say "I don't have many friends". In fact, they probably won't ask. I've never had someone ask me "Do you have many friends" or anything like that.. so not a problem.. and you do martial arts, that's really interesting for crying out loud, talk about that. I would :lol:

When I've been out, and had a bunch of female and male friends following me, displaying that I'm the leader of the group, girls have opened me and taken my MSN, number or just been interested in me. That's just the way it is. In this game, social proof is one of the most powerful weapons, so powerful that you can get along on the illusion of it.
So go out there and get some 8)

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:13 pm 
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Social proof, gives women DHV, because it associates you with a group with value. Women want to be part of your valuable group and since you are already part of that group you have higher value automatically.

Social proof is not completely necessary in all situations, but it sure is nice to have and comes in handy more often than not.

Go out and find a wingman, you can find wingmen at bars easier than women essentially because men are there looking for females too, and it is easy to initiate conversation by starting to collaberate with potential wings on ways to win the game . Go out and mingle...


Last edited by Kaos101 on Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:20 pm 
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Im very new to the pua scnene, but try using your skills just to make friends. Since, the 2 weeks i have found out about this I have met a whole lot of people. Use your charmisa to make new friends find a guy who needs help meeting women and teach him what you know. I guarantee you he will become your best friend. You can also use your skills to do some networking that will probably help you find a job. These skills we learn here are great for any kind of sales job.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:28 pm 
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Social proof, gives women DHV, because it associates you with a group with value. Women want to be part of your valuable group and since you are already part of that group you have higher value automatically.

Social proof is not completely necessary in all situations, but it sure is nice to have and comes in handy more often than not.

Go out and find a wingman, you can find wingmen at bars easier than women essentially because they are there looking for females too. Go out and mingle...
I'm not sure if you understand what social proof means, but it is involved in even the most basic social interactions. For example.

If you get your group laughing, and people who didn't hear the joke turn around, they'll assume you're a funny guy.

If you enter the venue with several women, people who see you come in will assume you're popular.

It can work negatively too.. Like if the people in your set are ignoring you or clearly uncomfortable being around you, everyone who sees you and your set will conclude that you're awkward and submissive.

The underlying principle is, people who don't have complete information will look at how others behave towards you in order to draw conclusions.

Social proof has nothing to do with associating yourself with people of high value or anything like that. That whole "value by association" effect is completely seperate. Social proof is all about little "snapshots" that people far away from you see, from which they can draw conclusions about your personality and character.

It's not so much that this concept of social dynamics is *necessary*.. it's pretty much unavoidable one way or another. It's like asking whether body language is "necessary".

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 8:14 pm 
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Mech you are right. I just might have misworded my previous reply.
Being in a group means that you have social medium in which to move through the scene. And having a social medium has a value all of it's own.
It has nothing to do with who is in your group or what kind of value they possess, it just has to do with being a part of something and that adds value...


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 1:56 am 
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Hey guys.I've read everything,and I think I begin to understand the difference.

For now,I'll keep working at what I can,and start to expand my skills once I move in to college,as life will always have barriers to be run into.Eventually,the crossthrough will be available,and It will be my responsibility to bum rush through it,which will be no prob whatsoever.

Thanks fellas.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:49 am 
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I believe that social proof can be attained by nothing more than exhibiting Mysterys #1 alpha male quality: Smile, Just be larger than life and always have fun. Nobody wants to talk to somebody who looks angry, frustrated, busy, or whatever else that isnt welcoming. When somebody has a shit eating grin on their face, you start to wonder why? Why the hell is this person so happy, what are they thinking? Those are the guys women want to meet. You need to prep yourself, Put on the biggest smile you have (practice making it look genuine) so you can turn it on like you flip a light switch. Whenever you walk into ANY room, make it seem like you are on top of the world and nobody can bring you down. Thats ur social proof. If you have a natural poker face (like me) women might think ur an asshole. I found out only very recently that when Im not smiling people think im mad. Sounds fucking crazy but I confirmed it with almost 100% of my chick friends. WTF! I've spent the last 24 years of my life looking like im pissed just because I wasnt giving off a huge smile all the time. Now when I walk into ANY room I put on a huge smile, no matter how Im really feeling. You know what reaction im getting now, Women are actually blurting out hellos as I walk by, I cant fucking believe it but its obvious. YOUR SMILE is NUMBER ONE!

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 4:27 pm 
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dude, sounds like you should consider a gap year. Travel round the world by yourself , gain MASSIVE confidence and loads of contacts all over the world, get loads of stuff to talk about and see ppl in a much worse situation than you.


Though you'll need to get a job first.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 8:33 pm 
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i think social proof is one of the DHVs, there are tons and tons of other DHVs, so it really doesn't matter as long as you have other DHVs and ways to spark attraction.

But don't let the lack of social proof be a DLV for you.

I have no social proof as well, good luck.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 6:26 pm 
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I think if you are having trouble actually dating a woman, due to a lack of funds or lack of transportation, you should do something along the line of meet her at a place. Maybe the park so you can take a walk, or at the mall for lunch. Somewhere you could very well take a bus to that isnt going to cost alot of money. You can walk around a mall all day and talk and the same with a park. There are plenty of free things to do to get out there. Also Social value means alot, since it is a hugh DHV. Even if you have to strech the truth like, hey I cant talk long cause I have to go meet up with some friends, when in reality you are going home to jump online and play D&D. If you can make them think you have a large circle of friends then you will demonstrate your value to them on a subconsious level. Yet if you cant make up some stories on the fly that fit your personality and style, you will bore the woman and ultimatly lose what you were working towards, or get the LJBF speach. I would reccomend going to a mall and walk around and meet new people. Go to the bigger places like sam goody, borders, sears, penny's, gap, hell where ever there are people by you that you can walk in and make yourself noticed. If you have a cell phone even better cause you can make a social circle known in a place like that my pretending to talk on your cell. (see cellphone openers) There are plenty of things you can do to make yourself seem more sociable than you are, until you get to that sociable point. All you have to do is get over your hang ups. You go to the gym, meet both men and women there. Easy to do. Talk to women on the tread mill (see talking to women wearing headphones) wearing their Ipods, ask a guy for a spot. Find a guy that looks lost and could use a hand. There are plenty of things to do. But I would give up on DDR and learn DHV for a short time. Learning this game is no different than playing DDR or any other game, It is all about the steps you learn and using them to get to your ultimate goal..


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 7:53 pm 
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very high iq athetic body confidence?
sounds like you got the tools most people fake to have
go out there and just do it....


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:32 pm 
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I have a high IQ but im not the athletic body type. Im your average JOE. 6'1 about 250lbs. Im not fat but not the guy with 6 pack abs if you know what i mean. I just do my thing, and think if more people worried less about what someone else will think about them and more about what is going to make them happy, people would be more successful. Keep a poistive upbeat attitude when going to job interviews and run game on those people the same as running it in a bar or anyother location. DHV to them and stand out above all the other people that applied for said job. There is no success without U, and YOU have to make it happen. Keep a positive frame of mind and you will succed. I dont hire people who give a lack luster performance, i want someone who stands out over everyone else and blows my mind.


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