If you call her after the ONS then it technically isn't a ONS. It shows that you wanted to talk to her more or see her again. If she doesn't pick up, that is her deal. Perhaps it was a ONS in her mind. But from what I know, you don't call a ONS.

I think that is a GREAT way of putting it. Desire is an action toward a specific person. You desire HER because of who she is and she makes your blood boil. Being needy, you want her attention but that void could be filled by someone else who is willing to give you that attention.

Ya it does. Girls don't mind you telling them they are hot, but not in that manner. It makes them feel like a piece of meat, not exactly a good thing.

I am curious how old are you? As you seem young if you are asking such a question. You can't fall in love for a girl in the early stages of a relationship, there is just no way. The feeling you have in that stage is called infatuation or sometimes known as a crush.

imo the key to not being creepy is having fun while telling her she's fucking hawt.

bonita has pretty much said everything that i was going to say. that is SO true. SO SO SO true. seriously.

and yes. the way it was put, desire=you want her/need=you want her attention. that is a good way to put it. needy people in a relationship will often overdo it. they become impatient and demanding. if your demeanor is that you demand the attention like a child demands a toy, then you need to tone it down, relax, and ask for it like you would order at a restaurant. politely, not pushy, but with confidence.

_________________
the place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum...

I like the idea of telling a girl, "You are hot . . ." but . . .words are cheap. They hear this crap from the guy on the corner with a toothpick sticking out of his mouth. They hear it from the crew digging up a new asphalt. They hear it from 10 other guys at a bar.

And women often express desires to hear "certain words" but when you give it to them, they go, "....." and "????"

Actions speak louder. Instead of going "You are hot . . ." Try this: While she's on one of those female "blah, blah, blah" sessions, you just stare at her and give her a slight smile. You take a somewhat deep breath like, "Oh my Fucking God . . ."

She'll smile and go, "what?!?!"

And you just go shake your head and go, ". . . " Then brush her hair to the side and give her a smooch on her forehead like a little doll for extra points.

And I have nothing against emotions and I believe in love. If you feel that cannonball of love from a girl. . . you've got to just go with it. There's no running from it. There's no hiding from it. You have those emotions . . .you can't call it fake and you can't say that it doesn't exist.

But you CAN express it many different ways. Since the girls are here on this thread, may I just ask? How many guys have tossed you ladies the word "LOVE"? I have heard from my lady friends that they have heard it HUNDREDS of times . . .

There's the rub. The word itself really ain't that special and in fact, for some girls, it can be tiresome when the word "love" is used by guys they've just met. (They've heard this many times already by guys they've just met)

So instead, DEMONSTRATE your emotions. You're excited by her. You want to kiss her. You want to make her laugh. You want to spend more time with her. You want to show her your interests. You want to make her happy. Why cheapen your emotions and feelings with what has now become a cheap cliche'?

Cast out the demons of Walt Disney made for TV movies and go with your HEART! There is no way that I can believe that the fruition of a balanced, mature adult's love for another is, "Durh, huh, huh . . . I think I love you . . . durh hurh hurh . . "

I got into this pick up stuff because I was needy. I think that one of the big issues was coming across as too needy.

Women dont like to be begged for love (Me neither), but they love to be loved.

(If you have a problem with the word love, change it for desire, attraction, affection, sex etc...I'm just a romantic guy)

I think that how and when to show desire is a hard thing to explain, so I will tell you things from my perspective.

I dont like to brag, but at any given time quite a few girls are interested in me.

I like to analize their advances, and I've learned a lot form them.

I was at a boring Statistics lecture, sitting at the back of the room. I was with a girl that is obviously attracted to me. I never tried to game her directly because I think of her more as a friend. I'm a very affectionate person with my female friends, lots of kino, so eventually I side hugged her for a while, then the teacher started saying some important stuff, so I released her because I had to use my arm to write on my notebook.

After a while she started talking like a baby, to get my attention (and probably physical contact) again.

She is like 24, and she looks very mature... I thought "Fuck that's needy!!!"

It was a turn off...

Some other time I was at an adv. macroeconomics final, and a girl I liked a lot was sitting next to me. I was totally checking her out, but eventually i had to stop to concentrate on the test.

I raised my head a couple times when the teacher was distracted, to check her out again. It was a good motivation, lol.

On one of those sneak peaks she made eye contact, and she smiled, I smiled back. It was a very sexy smile.

I thought "Yeah!! Its on baby!!!". Later I learned that she liked me too. That smile was like a "signal of desire".

Now, when you guys say desire, its not like telling a girl that you want to put your ding-dong on her tortilla, its more a subtle thing.

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"[Cool is] a heavily manipulative corporate ethos. ”
Kalle Lasn

"Motherfuckers best belive in....That you are fucking with the best" - 3oh!3

Teasing is a battle plan for what Shakespeare called “the merry war.”

It's not about what you say. However your genuine, ego-less desire manifests itself is what desire will look like coming from you, whether it's saying "You're fucking hot" or just a sexual smile. The right expression is in the chosen communication of the artist. Saying "I want to put my ding dong in your tortilla" will most likely be a disingenuous expression, and will therefore be a really ineffective medium of communicating desire, but for some people it might work because it would be genuine to them!

That good desire will manifest itself in the right way as long as you choose to express that desire instead of that gay-ass neediness that so many AFCs egotistically choose to project onto women.

I'm gonna give it a shot

PUAHitch imagine this: You walk into a bar and there are 5 tall hot Blondes equally hot and each one can replace the other.

You feel:

Desire= I would like one of these hot blondes to use the soft walls of their vagina to squeeze out every drop of my cum and dry my balls

Needy= you talk to the first blonde and feel I want YOU and only YOU to squeeze out every drop of my cum with the soft walls of your vagina !!

Do you get it ...haahahaa

Chief, would you say that it is OK to express your love for her after she has expressed hers?...eventhough we are in a very early stages of the relationship- gf and bf for less than 2 months?

Depends on how much time you've actually spent in each other's presence, not just how long it's been since you started this relationship. 2 months at 1 date every week or two isn't much. But on the other hand my last LTR spent basically almost every night with me after the first week, and moved in after the first month, so by the time two months like that had gone by we had long since used the L word.

All you underage kids need to GTFO of here lol

Thank you

Hi Angelz, I know that your question is for Chief but I hope you dont mind me jumping in.
What difference does it make whether you profess your love first or she does it. However, like Kasabi said, there are more than one ways of letting her know that you love her rather than saying the cliche 'I Love YOU'. Besides, what Chief is getting at is that when you come from an abundance mentality than you become the chooser and seldom do you feel 'love' in the early stages. No one is saying that you cant but the chances are less.

Wanting to be with someone 24/7, wanting to spend a lot of time with someone etc etc.. could be mere attraction, crush or infatuation.

Oh yh that explains a lot....thanks for answering my quesiton Marc, i really appreciate it :):)