So I had a great date with someone I met online. When we were saying our goodbyes I said I'll call her, she said, "Please".

She left something in my car so were going to have to meet up again. 2 questions:


#1 - How do I properly set up the meeting?

How does this sound ... "Let's meet up for some bowling" OR "I can only date girls that are good bowlers; meet me at such and such place at such and such time so I can evaluate your skill level." OR " Meet me for bowling, make sure you bring me a present ... I am high maintenance" OR "Meet me for bowling and bring white wine so we can thank the Lord properly" (she had said hallelulujah for me finding her transportation card).

#2 - What about paying for a 2nd date, should I or shouldn't I? If I don't how should I communicate the fact that I am not paying?

Other ideas? Thoughts?

Dude, you are thinking way to much about how to ask her to hangout. She obviously WANTS to hangout with you. All you need to do is ask her, something simple is fine:

"Hey, I'm going bowling on (insert time/date), your coming with me."

As to paying or not. Honestly there is nothing wrong with paying when you go out. Did you pay for the last date or go dutch? IMO if you went dutch last time I'd say you should pay for bowling, and maybe have her pay for the drinks.

Me: Hey, let's go bowling. I haven't bowled in ages and I want to see if you can hang with the KING.

If things went well the first time, I see nothing wrong with paying for a game or 2.

_________________
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

Thanks guys the date pretty much sucked.

I lost my footing with her (the ugly AFC in me reared its head). She turned out to be somewhat of a beyotch. Any specific feedback on how to handle, insults, criticisms, lack of IOI's for my future dates with other girls would be appreciated... summary of beyotch date ensues:

I had my 2nd date with this girl tonight. i have to say i am not necessarily dissapointed that it didn't go as planned

(the girl never says thank you or please, i don't think she has ever used the words... and she is rather inhibited/shy .. she says she only talks to her family on the phone, everyone else she texts... )

i put a lot of reading and preparation in advance for this date. ie kino strategies, comfort/attraction gambits, everything. my confidence was a bit less than i like. but i fought through it. knowing that my attitude is everything. her attitude at first seemed friendly enough. i kissed her on the cheek and some light kino. i got her laughing quickly and off to bowling.

bowling is going fine, but VERY soon into the date she says that she has to study tonight (kinda an immediate shield or whatever). and i think that was the beginning of working a little bit against my ego. i continued to press on. tried to do some light kino (staring context.... hand slap game) but she was very hesitant to even do that. i tried holding her hand when doing the staring contests and seconds into that she pulled away. at one point i was telling her about high fives and what they mean and she was like, "you analyze everything" ....

she started testing me quite a bit on things. even getting defensive when i teased her on stuff. she really wasn't showing much in the way of attraction towards me, other than spending time with me. she would ask me random questions about my family, etc,. but her wall was obviously up.

i take her to dinner... i decided to change gears and go from fun, silly games, to a little comfort ... i tried the "truth game" so i can get to know her better ... she didn't want to play, said it was to, "early for that .. wants to take it slow". keep in mind i have been talking to this girl since may online, and i really don't know much about her. so i tell her some stories, make her laugh, etc,. then tell her i am going to take her to her car. we get in the car drive to bart. i started to feel a bit awkward (again i think ever since her saying she has to study set me off a little). but i continue to talk. we hug and i do the european kiss (4 kisses 2 on each cheek) she again tests/or bitches at me ... "you're only supposed to do it twice".

in the end i give my effort an A. Performance could have been better. I'd appreciate to hear how i should have responded to some of her more direct "insults" or tests.

oh and she left the leftovers in the car so i met her to give it to her. just for the f*ck of it i said, come here i need to tell you a secret, "i think you're cute" (she texted me earlier asking if i thought she was cute). she awkwardly looked at me. i said, "enjoy the leftovers" and that was it.

Thoughts, Feedback, Suggestions?

just relax, don't think of anything that didn't happened yet. Ask her out again it's up to you if you want to pay the bill. Just be yourself, it's so obvious that she likes you.

Ok dude, first of all the whole tripping and the "inner-AFC" thing was crap. So you tripped, thats not AFC.

Second, her comment about you "analyzing" everything is probably on par. You make it sound like you DID alot of analyzing and she was just calling you on your shit. Instead of just having a good time you put to much conscience effort into how things were going.

Lastly, she wasn't "testing" your or being a bitch. Girls tend to be smartasses to. Its your job to be able to confidently handle them. Don't take it to far, but make it fun and funny. You seem to have truely gotten stuck in your head at some point that night. Next time when your out with a girl, let the events play out as they can. If you see opportunities for kino and such; then take them. However, don't force it because then it comes across as fake. Same goes for the conversation you are having. You don't have to actively "try" to be interesting. If you just kick back and enjoy a girl's company things will go great.

jsquared excellent advice. i planned the whole date out and that was probably the worst thing possible. so yeah, i'm sure i did come across as fake.

back to the grind ...

I'll have to agree with some of the major points made here, such as planning too much and telling her what the high five means/the effect its supposed to have, which in the long run diminshes the effect.

But otherwise it didn't sound that bad.

I had a similar cock up, way over analysed/planned everything on my first go.

_________________
==============================-------------

if i have miss-spelled something its not because im stupid its because i cant be bothered to spell stuff properly while trying to type as fast as humanly possible

Reminds me of the movie 'He's just not that into you'....this guy has a few indicators that he watches out for which tell him whether shes just not that into him...one of them was 'if she takes left overs home on dates 1, 2 or 3, she's just not that into you'.

Dont worry I think your case is an exception, plus that 'theory' is not something to go on anyway in my opinion.

If I were you I would be glad your date went the way it did, the more you f*ck up during an actual date, the more youre learning (as long as you're changing what youre doing each time!). No-one on earth could possibly get everything right on the first date mate. i think your date went perfectly in the greater scheme of things.