it's been a couple days since i've found the time to finish typing out this field report, so here goes:
so the house party i previously asked about took place. it was a friend's 19th birthday. i arrived there 45 mins after the appointed start time on the facebook invite (i rarely show up to a party when it's "supposed" to start, as that's when everybody's getting there and things haven't yet heated up
).
so there were a few people there i knew, most i didn't know. there were maybe 30 people there, i didn't think to count for the field report until later into the evening...
in my experience there are varying degrees of parties. some are wild dance parties or raves where it's a conducive environment for hooking up. then there are more laid-back casual parties where the environment is not good for hooking up. this was the not-good for hooking up kind of SPAM. since i'm rather new to the game, that doesn't do me any good.
being tired from lack of sleep due to work the previous night, and having consumed some alcohol, i don't remember exactly what i said.
first, let me give a basic layout of the party: people playing beer pong in the main room, some people watching. a few people chilling in the living room adjacent to the room with the beer pong table (the main room). people hanging out in the kitchen on the other side of the main room, talking in groups and eating/drinking. the bathroom is on the other side of the kitchen, and it has a door to the back yard also. people out in the back yard talking and some people smoking weed (i don't do that). some music playing, and plenty of alcoholic beverages around.
i opened a 3-set with a guy talking to them (he wasn't really part of the set).
set: Hey, is your name ___? (it wasn't)
me: no, i'm ___. (we introduced each other)
you know, you're not the first ones to make that mistake.
set: Really?
me: yeah. there was this one girl in college who came up behind me and called me ___ 3 times before i turned around and wondered 'is she talking to me?'.
set: Are you just making that up? (haha, no i wasn't)
me: no i'm not. i swear, this girl was in my class and i met her, and then she misremembered my name and was like chasing after me and stuff.
set: (laughing) cool! where do you go to college?
at this point some social dynamics shifted, and two of the 3 HBs started chatting with the other guy, and it was like a textbook example of an isolation. the girl and i were talking (i would write it if i could remember what we said), and the BL and vibe was good, and then she suddenly just turned and rejoined the set. i swear, the convo did not stall, there was no awkward silence or boring feeling that would have predicted this, she just suddenly *boom* turned and rejoined the set. that was weird. i went and hung out with some other people and watched the beer pong game.
i was in the kitchen waiting in the line for the bathroom. this girl (HB9) randomly said
HB9: my hair's kinda messy
i walked up and reached a finger up and brushed the hair up from her eye and smiled.
me: there, now it's better.
her: no, it's messy.
me: there, now it's better.
the bathroom opened up, so i went in. HB9 told me i'd better hurry up. i teased that i was going to have to lock her out. i went and rejoined the party after this.
then this girl (HB8.5) realized i was from the u of a and got all excited and shouted
HB8.5: hey, you're from the u of a? i go there too! (she must have heard that from someone else=social proof)
she was on the other side of the beer pong table. i walked around and went to talk to her.
me: yeah i am.
HB8.5: yeah, i'm going to rush a sorority.
me: ooh, sounds like fun. which one?
HB8.5: i don't know yet. you know in rush, you have to rush all of the sororities.
me: you have to rush all of them?? i did not know that.
HB8.5: so you didn't rush?
me: yeah i rushed, but with fraternities you choose a few to rush. you don't have to rush them all!
HB8.5: where'd you rush?
me: i rushed ___, ___, and ___. i'm in ___ now.
we talked for a while after this about common themes at the u of a. good eye contact and vibe. i generally will interpret a lack of IODs to be an IOI in and of itself. the same goes with a good vibe.
the only problem was she had a boyfriend. i don't mean she casually dropped this into a line as a test. i mean she mentioned him like every third sentence. so she was unavailable in that sense, so i decided not to pursue her in that way. i was trying to consider how to close. i was jotting her name down in my phone as a txt message draft, but i typed in a bunch of numbers into the first line, realized my mistake, pushed down again, but my phone had inserted a second to: field since i had entered random numbers in the first one, and i promptly made the same mistake again, this time without realizing it.
she realized it and said, "here, let me give you my number."
i canceled out of that menu and went to the add contact menu and had her put it in. then i gave her a hug goodbye and HB8.5 left the party.
i was hanging out in the kitchen, talking to some friends. i'm sure social proof was assisting me, i just couldn't tell the size of the effect without experiencing the same situation without it.
there was this girl dancing (HB7) who had been like dancing crazy to the music. i came up behind her and grabbed her and started dancing with her. she abruptly stopped.
me: come on, let's see your moves.
she turned and looked at me and walked away. :O oh well
i ran into HB9 again in the kitchen later. she had such a bitch shield going on. i could tell just by her presence, that kind of aloof-type aura. there are only 3 ways i know of dealing with a bitch shield: negs, reframing into a stronger frame, or c+f. in retrospective examination, it appears that i pulled her into my frame, and ran a spontaneous custom-situation-fitted routine on her.
HB9 flicked a bottle cap at the cabinet behind me, for whatever reason. it ricocheted off and hit my back. i reach over and pick it up off the counter.
me: hey! you just nailed me with a bottle cap!
HB8.5: haha i didn't mean to.
me: yeah right, you totally aimed that and bounced it into me. you're mean. here, let's see how good your aim is then.
i took her hand, lifted it up, and placed the bottle cap into it with the other hand.
me: now let's see what you got. try and make it into the kitchen sink.
HB9 threw it and it landed on the kitchen floor.
me: (laughing) well, i guess i was wrong. you're no good at all.
i left and went to another part of the party.
i approached an HB8 who was standing by the beer pong game. she and this guy and some other people were standing at a sort of angle to it.
i approached and touched her and said
me: hey, i don't think i've met you.
at this point, i was just about to shake her hand, make EC, smile, and initiate a conversation. however, i had made a critical error. from the angle at which i had approached, i failed to realize that she and that guy were holding hands. furthermore, i could tell by their reactions that they were together, and that life was going to suck for me hitting on the guy's girl
right in front of him!
so, i had to defuse the situation and abort.
so i turn to the guy.
me: or you. my name's ___, nice to meet you. (it was completely effective)
bf: hey man, what's up! i'm ___ and this is my gf ___. what's up, how's the party going?
my instincts were right, thankfully, i aborted my pursuit just in time. i talked with him, he was actually quite an energetic and charismatic guy. he introduced me to some people i didn't know (good social proof).
i was in the main room, and HB9 and a couple friends of hers were leaving. she came up to me and said
HB9: bye, i'm leaving now.
i gave her a hug
HB9: do you remember my name?
me: no
this would have been the perfect neg, it really was, it was just with the combined effect of tiredness and alcohol, i genuinely couldn't. (i'm bad enough with remembering names when i'm sober and alert.)
HB9: i'm ___.
i decided to #close her. i had a routine ready to blow out the resistance i expected (hey, she had a bitch shield up earlier, so i expected resistance).
HB9: sure, it's 111-1111. (smiled) call me.
then she left.
(i'll probably be asking a question about this in the phone game or day 2 section later)
that's pretty much everything of note that happened that evening game-wise, and i am &$^%ing tired of writing this field report, so yeah. i left the party and went home and slept. the end.
CHAT