C L E A R speaking



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 Post subject: C L E A R speaking
PostPosted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:51 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:31 pm
Posts: 34
Damn

Guys, any hint how to overcome mumbling? Sometimes - especially when I have to speak loudly, ie in clubs - I start to speak very unclear. Well, to me it sounds like I speak clear, but once I get this confused facial expression after I said something funny, it's clear to me that the person did not understand what I just told.

Unfortunatelly it happens quite often, hence I will be happy to get any advice from you.


Thanks!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 3:30 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 3:33 pm
Posts: 21
Location: North Bay, Ontario
A confident voice is the second most important aspect of your presentation (next to body language). Any good PUA will tell you that IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT.

Your mumbling is most likely linked to "fast speech". When you talk too fast you portray yourself as being nervous, unconfident, and that what you are saying is unimportant .. on top of making yourself difficult to understand.

A CALM SLOW VOICE COMMANDS AUTHORITY. Most people talk too fast for fear of losing the other persons interest. You have to realize that you are not a salesman, you are the prize. Everyone should be selling their pitch to you, not the other way around.

In 'The Stylelife Challenge' by Neil Strauss, there is an exercise you can do to slow down your speech:

Sit up straight in front of an audio recorder or computer microphone. Take a deep breath. Now say without slowing down the following sentence - all in one breath: "I will no longer speak too quickly and cram all my words together in one breath because I have lots of thoughts in my head and I am trying to get them all out and I am afraid that if I pause, people will stop listening."

Listen to the recording. Most likely, cramming a run-on sentence into one breath worsened your enunciation and caused you to swallow some words. Now inhale and say the same line. But this time, make the pace exaggeratedly slow and deliberate; leave excrutiatingly long pauses between phrases; pronounce each word carefully; and take a breath more often than you feel you need to. Then listen to the recording.

Repeat this exercise five to ten times, gradually increasing the pace, normalizing your breathing, and shortening the pauses between words while making sure you're still speaking slowly and pronouncing each word fully. This is going to feel unnatural at first, but stick with it until you find a comfortable and clear speaking pace that captures the attention of others. Repeat the run-on sentence several more times in front of a mirror until you get used to your new speaking pace.

After you master this exercise on your own, your voice may well speed up again in social situations. So make sure to monitor yourself, and take a breath and slow down as soon as you catch yourself speed talking.

Just like turning up the volume on your voice, it may take a while for your inner ear to get used to this change. You may think that you're boring others, but you're not. Fast speakers often discover that, even when they've slowed down to what seems like an interminable crawl, they're still talking faster than everyone else in the room.

Hope This Helps,
Cheers


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:07 am 
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Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:31 pm
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I hope it will, thanks.

Now my job is to practice to speak clearly and do not sound dull at the same time. Once I slow down I can make you sleep withing minutes. Any tips for that?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:48 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 3:33 pm
Posts: 21
Location: North Bay, Ontario
There are a few threads that list stories you can tell .. but improving your dialogue with others can really only come with practice and self-awareness of what you are saying. Try to base your discussion structure on the theories in the mid-game and routine sections (disqualifications, etc.). The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to NEVER ASK QUESTIONS! Instead, you want to make statements. For example, imagine you were to enter your local gym and an HB was working the front desk. Most guys would start off by asking questions like "how long have you worked here?" and "do you enjoy working here". This is not a conversation, it is an interrogation. Instead, make statements .. such as "I can tell you enjoy working here, I've never seen you without a smile". In this example, the HB will probably smile after your statement (bonus :)). Also, never answer a girls question directly. For example, if she asks you what you do for a living, you say that you are a disposable lighter repairman (or something along those lines; props to Style).

Always remember that the key to a girl's heart (or pants) is humor.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 1:39 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 11, 2009 5:44 pm
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AOL: supersupratt94
Location: new jersey
dude i got da same problem. and i never knew how 2 fix it. i'm gonna try sum of this shit. hope fully it works


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