Either I write this girl a message or I don't. But the background is kinda complicated, or maybe I'm just making it complicated. Anyway, don't know what to do.

Me and a girl were really vibing at the end of last year in college but I could never get us into a situation where it would go anywhere (so maybe it's a lost cause, but I'm not gonna give up cause 'maybe').

Anyway, now I'm interning in NY and I'd mentioned this to her and we'd talked about it, both pretty excited. I'd said "well, you should come visit!" and she'd been pretty keen.

The last few weeks I haven't contacted her at all (is that a mistake) while she's at home in Florida. Now I'm thinking of dropping her an email, just something really short and sharp about how great it is and how she could visit if she can. But I'm not sure. It might become a compliance test and she might get cold feet because I'm being too interested or maybe she's just waiting for it.

My inclination is to go for it, always better to do something than nothing, but since there are pretty low odds she'll actually make it to NY while I'm still here it seems less clear cut.

Thoughts? Message her or not?

P.

If you are new to this stuff than make it a numbers game at first.

If you were going the 'online' game route...I know guys who message 40 girls every 3 days and end up with one new date almost every night of the week. They get rejected a lot because it's online and the rejection recover rate (RRR - cool ) is faster than the speed of light so I would suggest to so whatever YOU want.

It seems to me that now what you want is to build a certain skill set. Whenever you see an opportunity to do something you have never done than take it. If you keep doing the same you will continue to get the same. Try something new at least 3 times before you chuck it.

There is major distance between you and her so the flirtatious vibe can be amped up very easily. She can say 'hey come over tonight!"....and you can say "yeah i will be over with wine and cheese in about 10 minutes"....and you both know that it is just harmless flirting yet it allows her to feel attractive in turn making you more attractive to her. People feel attractive when with attractive people. Use the space to flirt with her. I would suggest keeping things light play ful and silly. Don't make her think to much untill she knows that you make her feel good. Don't be afraid to go for the close. We talk about being non-needy yet, persistence always wins. Find your balance, every girl is different. She may need the validation...good luck