This is my first post here, but I need some advice. Here's the situation (and be prepared, it's a long story)...

About 4 months ago, one of my friends from work basically set me up with her best friend (I'd say a HB9). My friend gave me her number and told her I would call her. We all work together, but she works in a different area than me, so I hadn't really talked to this girl much. I'm usually somewhat shy/quiet, and not the outgoing guy with tons of friends or who just talks to girls... Anyway, I called her and we talked for a little bit, and eventually we made plans to go out that weekend. Everything was very casual.

So we went out for pizza, which gave us some time to talk, and then went went bowling. It was a little old fashioned, but there's not a whole lot to do in my town. Anyway, after bowling, we made a spur of the moment decision to go to a movie. The whole night lasted like 6 hours, which was probably overkill for a first date, but we both had a good time. I got a few ioi's from her, but I couldn't bring myself to initiate much kino. The kino that did happen tho, there didn't seem to be any hesitation from her.

So we kept going out doing things for about a month. Due to our work schedules, we really only went out once a week. There was very little kino during this time (again because of me). After our 3rd date she pretty told me that she liked me a lot, but that she wasn't really ready for a relationship right now, but she still wanted to hang out with me. She was just recently out of a 6 year relationship, so it didn't really surprise me. I told her that was fine and she didn't have to rush anything. After "date" number 4, she said we should just be friends. I told her that if that was how she wanted things to be, then that's fine, which I realize now that I probably shouldn't have said.

At that point, I was friend-zoned and I started trying to figure out how to reverse it. I googled it looking for ways to change her mind... read forum posts, etc. I decided to basically not talk to her for a few weeks and then see what she was up to. Give it a little time to reset her thoughts on me, and try to convey myself in a new light. I sent her a txt about 3-4 weeks later, after not really speaking, and she didn't respond. She couldn't even look at me in at work anymore, and I had no idea what was going on. It turned out that she wasn't quite over her ex and was talking with him again. This guy was a total tool and didn't treat her right, so it made no sense to me. I was a little pissed to say the least, and decided to just drop the whole thing.

We didn't talk for like 3 months and I went about my life. Then out of the blue, I got a txt msg from her at 3 am, which caught me totally offguard. I immediately figured she had been drinking, but that wasn't the case. We txt'd for about an hour and she eventually kinda apologizes for acting weird at work, and say she wants to be friends. So by now I'm thoroughly confused and I was thinking why is she txting me in the middle of the night to tell me she wants to be friends... pretty much, "wtf is going on?"

Anyway, we made plans to do something that weekend. She came over to my place and we watched a movie and then talked for like an hour. Things were basically just like before we stopped talking, and now I'm stuck in a bind. I want to convey interest, but I have no idea if her latest "i want to be friends" txt means only that, or if that was her was of re-establishing something between us. I don't want to act like there's more when there may not be, or make a move when she's not feeling it, or whatever. I'm horrible with catching signals from girls, and she's even harder to read cuz she can be shy/quiet at times. I'm also pretty bad with flirting and stuff. Essentially my "game" sucks and I don't know where to go from here... any advice?

Don't mess around with girls at work. That's all I can tell you. - Redkid

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I'll rise to the top yet. Just watch me.

u need to take a giant step back and reflect on this.

why is this girl so special to u, u seem to be really caught up about this over not a whole lot. she aint all that, trust me. here are some of my thoughts:

after date 3, when she was like "i like you a lot but not ready for a relationship" she was being a complete cunt. a lot of girls in her shoes want to keep guy "friends" around to do things for them, take them out, etc. never be that guy.

never say stuff like "u dont need to rush." sometimes dont say anything, try to make ur actions speak louder than words and date other ppl. if that is not possible for you, just make sure she knows ur doing other stuff... if she feels like u are just going to be waiting and waiting for her, well, she has all the control and will play u. never be in that position.

u were smart in backing off, that is the right thing to do. but when u started texting again (u never explained what you were saying), either dont bring up anything that happened, or REALLY get in her face about it .... one extreme or the other, but never be mild and lukewarm and indirect.

be a man, tell her to her face that her bf sucks and is a joke. if she came back to u, for whatever, reason, that speaks to SOME LEVEL of interest. just make a move damnit.

there is never going to be a 100% positive way of knowing what she wants to do. u just have to make a move.

if i were u, id have her over, get some alcohol and have a few drink w her, then fuck her. at that point, u have known each other for a while... sometimes if u want to get out of the "friend zone" u just need to go for it. its an easy setup and she can remove any inhibitions she has.

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swag

Hmm, this is tricky.

Sounds to me like you've got a one-itis. You've been put in the LJBF zone and you're new to the game.

Well to break it down. You're stuck. There's this one girl. She's put you into the friends zone and once you're in there, there's little chance of getting out unless you have mad skills. If you haven't built any attraction or know how to sexually escalate, you mentioned that you're not good at the flirting stuff, then I would let this one girl.

Don't worry, there are plenty of other opportunities. As for gaming any girl at work, like the poster above, I'd say that's a no-no.

However, you could ignore all of that and try to start from scratch. But texting back and forward for an hour at 3am is not the way to go, that's exactly the sort of thing a friend does. Depends what you want with this girl. She's hot, make her your best friend, she can be your pivot. It's a win win situation. Don't be afraid to have goregous looking women as friends, it only helps you. Don't think every hottie that you meet has to be a girl that you try to win over and get her to become your girl. Befriending girls at times works wonders too.

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Check out my new PUA blog @ http://puahongkongblog.blogspot.com/
and add me on Facebook: Ethan Hewitt

Iagree with Ethan. You lost this one and got put in the LJBF zone. instead of being bummed out about it use it to your advantage. The pivot idea is a good one also. The more you game the better you get at it. Infact it might build up some jealouy between you and her when she see that you are gaming all these other girls. Having a hot friend does wonders. cause:

-Triggers that pre-selection switch ( even thought you are not together people assume you are cause you enter the venue together)
- lowers the protection shield from other girls
-allows you to just have fun with your friend.
- allows you to make new friends.

just cause one door closes doesn't mean there plenty of otheres ones that are open.

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"Live life to the fullest, never look back, remember No regrets" J.f