Ok so I'm relatively new to this and am just trying to learn from what i consider to be my first real attempt in-field (i've gotten a lot of results online but that doesn't count). i am mad rusty due to long-term girlfrienditis that was fortunately cured early last year.

scenario:
i'm in line for like 30 mins at a concert and this girl in front of me keeps looking over her shoulder at me. she hears me say something to my friend and interjects, asking if i'm talking about her hometown. no i wasn't but i had been there a bunch of times so we get to talking and i use that to my advantage. she's a solid 8.5 and i definitely want to pursue this.

to be honest with you i really didn't use much game because the conversation was very natural...zero long pauses or anything

about 20 mins into it, she has been agreeing with lots of my observations and statements, i had made fun of her music tastes, etc, so finally i say, 'why don't you give me your number and we'll hang out in the city sometime'. She responds with 'well i don't know you that well' and I say 'well that could change...'
then i just stare at her.

She says ok and dictates her number to me; i give her my number; then she calls me from her phone and gives me her number verbally to verify it.

Note: I was visiting for the weekend; i.e. i live about 2.5 hrs from where she lives but said i'm working on moving there (true)

The next day I texted her (i know - rookie mistake) and said it was cool meeting her and I'll give her a call sometime. No response to that...

4 days later i call her and leave a simple message. nothing. conclude that it's over. number is deleted.

My observations:

- I think she was turned off that i was willing to get her number once she found out i was not local (not super far but still...)
- i think despite all the good rapport & comfort i built, i did not segue into the number close gracefully enough
- this is a little bit of a cynical possibility...but i thought maybe she was alone but perhaps wanted her friends to see her talking to guys?


one question: do you think 'i don't know you very well' is a shit test in this case? still not sure that i passed it if it was....

personally, i dont see too much wrong in what u did leading up to getting her number... it was definitely a bs thing for her to say "i dont know you that well" ... u gave a pretty direct reply, u could have also said things to disarm the tension, like

" (look very puzzled / pisssed that she said that.... ) uhh, my favorite ice cream topping - sprinkles , favorite animal - polar bear , when i was 15 i saved a kid from drowning..." .... shes prob gonna laugh at that

" u can read about me on wikipedia"



either she was into u, or she wasnt but was just being nice since you both talked for a decent time. if its the latter, whatever, applaud urself for trying at least. more than some ppl would have done.

if she was into u, she prob would have texted something back to u.

but some mistakes :

- u texted her saying nothing, it was basically texting her just to text her. if u wanna do that flirt w her. but texting sometihng like "it was cool meeting you" is WEAK bc u should have already said that when u were talking in person, and the "ill call you some time" part of that is equally bs because that is implied when u exchanged numbers.

in doing this u prob came off like a bit of a loser / overly nice gentleman / no edge etc.

- dont think u cant text her the day after u met her, u can, but just say the right stuff.

- never call her like that , sort of out of the blue since she never responded that. have some dignity. it makes you seem like you are real caught up, and the fact that she hasnt gotten back to you, you are going to keep trying harder.

- if the girl is 2.5 hrs away, f that, i mean what are u expecting anyway. ur are adopting a needy attitude, but you need to stay loose. the situation is that at best u might be able to see her on a weekend, probably, in the near term.... maybe a casual hookup

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swag

thanks yo - really appreciate the criticism. i do come off too nice sometimes. and i believe texting can be death yet i walked straight into it.

i'm stayin local from now on. shnap.

word, sometimes all u can do is pursue it, but u cant really change a situation (like if she lives far away from u, has a bf, etc.) . focus on the good - you were feelin it, u pursued it, u did what u could.

even if u made some better/worse moves the end result might have been the same. but always look back like u did and see if there is anything to learn from.

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swag

I think your build up to the number close was fine. No worries there. I agree with the texting thing being the kiss of death. I try to avoid it as best I can, especially if you're just going to throw out something lame and uninteresting. No one's going to respond to a dull message if they don't know you very well.

The 'I don't know you very well' is one of those lines girls use like the "I have a boyfriend' line. Is it a shit test? I dunno. Nearly everything a girl says could be considered a shit test by a select few. Don't think too much about it.

Final point, you know in spite of what we all say, there are some girls out there that like to be pursued/chased. Keep that in mind fellas. If you want to be the one that does that, then go for it. Remember someone one day is going to get the girl, just depends how much you want her if that guy is to be you.

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