Ok, so I'm 25 years old, a virgin, and have never been in a relationship. I have gone on dates (obviously not a ton or I may not have this problem), made out with girls, even closed with one that only led to a boxers/panties only makeout with her uncomfortably tugging on my d a few times.

My main hangup with actually/instinctively closing with girls and/or putting myself out there with girls I meet is my nervousness about never having been in a relationship and being a virgin. I've arrived to this point in my life despite being a popular guy in high school, Ivy league football player, and having a fairly high social "worth" among the network of friends I have amassed in the city I moved to after college. Point being, I'm a tall 6'7" athletically built 290lb well-liked guy whose male and female friends probably think is getting laid because I am an extrovert who likes to go out and can talk up girls.

Problem is, I grew up in a small town within a smallish network of friends where I was the tall kid who never had a "girlfriend", and kept that mentality and self-worth throughout high school and college (playing offensive line at an Ivy doesn't really get girls throwing themselves at you like at an SEC/etc school, so not hooking up with girls every weekend wasn't unusual for us), and after football, I stopped working out and gained about 60 lbs, and over the past year and a half, have got my shit together and lost it and am back down to playing/confident weight (still working on getting fully trim).

So basically, during the last year or so of actually getting my priorities in life (health/sex-wise) straight, I have surprised myself with how much interest I have been able to garner with women at bars and parties, etc. I've number-closed plenty of times (hardly ever following up, because I always make myself think I'm just practicing or something), made out and everything like I mentioned above. A major problem here that I think you all will call me out on is the fact that I've never purchased condoms, and thus never set myself up for success because I still maintain some of that lower sense of self-worth that I've carried through adolescence until now.

Where I think my main problem lies is the fear of telling the first girl I have sex with (should it be something other than a one-nighter) that she was my first, or in talking about previous relationships, and sounding like a complete amateur. I've realized in typing this that actually going out and buying condoms will help me a lot in breaking through this barrier, as the one time I knew I was going to go home with and fuck a girl from a club who said she explicitly wanted it (before being aggressively cblocked by her drunk girlfriends), I had a condom on me that my buddy gave me that night.

So, I think that through typing this out at 4am, I think I know where my most obvious hangup is, being that I'm not setting myself up for success. However, I'm still plagued mentally by the question of how a 25 year old tells the first girl he's getting serious with that he's never been in a relationship before and possibly that he's never had sex with anyone before her. I know it can't be that huge of a deal as long as I'm not offering up that info prior to sex or during the first few dates or whatever. And I'm sure there are ways I can frame it confidently without coming off like an amateur. And I'm also sure that it will all start with me buying a box of condoms tomorrow.

Sorry for the long post and life story, I figure (having read The Game) that you guys would be at least interested/empathetic somewhat and could use it to give more useful feedback.

You dont need to worry about being a virgin mate, the best were virgins till 21+.
And alot of girls actually like guys that are virgins, they get a wierd sense of acomplishment from taking a guys virginity.

What? I lost my virginity with 14!!! A good friend of my lost with 18 yrs. No big deal.


The important thing in this game is making a new life.. Fuck what you are in the pass, learn with your own mistakes.

Became a new you, and do what you always want. Became a ALPHA, and the only person with capacited for change that its you brother.

Sucess

Nice to see you here. Looks like you're almost there already m8

my thoughts - just make it happen, bc it sounds like you want it to be that way. put yourself in the right situations and it will, i.e. having all your shit together.

here is the most important thing i can say - forget about all that bs contextual crap, like "ohhhh i am going to remember this forever" , "it has to be right" ... truth be told, nobody makes a HUGE deal of it, esp when uve had other experiences too after. what u will remember is the first time with the "right person" as long as she remains that "right person" for you. and afterwards, if she was LEGIT dime piece or close, you will probably remember her for that and just think of it like a conquest. the less attractive ones are conquests too, but just ones you probably wont think of again.

if everyone in society agreed to wait until marriage to have sex, then u wouldnt be under any pressure, but obviously you are feeling pressure (from either yourself, others, or a combination of both).

as for any added pressures in telling a girl that she is your first, screw it...only tell her what you want her to hear.

i am not a female, obvi, so i dont know how they would take that. its very unclear, and i imagine it goes both ways, and just as some might be very fond of that, others could be put off.

but do and say what you want. dont apologize, or feel a need to defend yourself. just stand by your choices. just be careful here. for instance, if you tell her, and say something like "there was never a right time for sex / i have had strong beliefs / etc " just be sure you arent shitfaced and do not come off like a complete hypocrite if now all of a sudden you seem to be abandoning these tenets .

in all seriousness, if your mission is to just get laid, i would suggest strip club. reason being - there is a very blurry line between that and having sex with a random girl u just met under the premise that your main objective is to get laid. if you are meeting her under a different premise, then to me the line wouldnt be so blurry. plus, if u just get this out of the way, you wont be putting added pressure on yourself, and it will probably help you out when you talk to ppl you want to date.

just my thoughts, i think a lot of this forum is bs, but i hope at least some part of that can help you. i dont have the best personal exp dealing with the pressures you are dealing with, so take some of this with a grain of salt and as a view from the other side of the fence.

_________________
swag

I would say your first problem is you being nervous .... when I was a virgin I learned the same thing ... I was nervous as piss my first time lasted like 1 min and a half ... I would personally let my body get use to the sexual attention, before I decide to pursue sex, and at the same time I would not care what happends ... and would not tell the gurl anything about being a virgin ... just take it slow man and breathe ...

Alot of girls will dig on the fact your a virgin man, dont worry about it, its not a big deal, and just think in 40 years when you've been married with kids and have grandchildren, its not going to be a big deal then either...you only live once mate, just go out and do what you want.

Whats up my brother? Let first off start by saying you have nothing to be ashamed of or regret. I didn't lose my virginity until college, and when I realized the girl I was walking home with wanted to fuck me, I'll admit, I was kind of nervous because I had no idea what I was doing.

But, it didn't matter. It isn't like cavemen had an instruction manual to sex, and we have all watched enough porn to know which holes are the right ones. Don't try to rush it or force it, just keep using your PUA skills, kit on girls and if you can get them to come home with you (or if your crafty enough get into their house) go for it, and don't even think about the fact that your a virgin. Remember, sex is a 2 person activity, so she is going to help you out some, and it comes pretty naturally.

No one even needs to know, there is really no benefit that I see from telling a girl that your a virgin. I can almost guarantee she won't be able to tell, and you will probably be better than some AFC she hooked up with before.

Its all about confidence my man, just have fun and enjoy the good times.

Well you made a first step to get more insight in your ´problem´ and you should read the reply´s and take the stuff you think is important, don´t take evrything for granted! It has to fit you and your lifestyle

I totally know where you at in this moment, i was 27 when i lost it, but it was (kind of )a choice i had to make. I sense that you have a impressive physique and have no problems attracting girls but can´t take it to a next level. (Again I see myself, people compare me like a cross of Justin Timberlake and David Beckham and I didn't get laid till I was 27)

What helped me alot is to change my way of thinking. Instead of focussing on the thought of being a virgin, focus on fun you have with girls
Talking, kissing, maybe some negging in other words try to ban negative thoughts!
You don't have to become very confident in 1 week (IMPoSSIBLE), but take baby-steps
You feel yourself growing as a person and people will react different!
Probably girls sense your insecurity with getting 2nd dates and you have to get rid of that idea!!!!!!!!!! Sure they want a second date otherwise they don't give their phone numbers! It is not a problem that you have never bought condoms according to me, BUT it could help you, i'll explain why
It could make you aware of your sexuality more and having a condom with you all the time could make you more secure when there is be a possible sex-situation

Actually you have a main advantage being a virgin at ur age! Most of the girls you will date the upcoming time (and you will!!!) are experienced and can help you overcoming your fears! But don't focus on that too much, first get your mindset good and get a good flow!

Telling the girl, mmmmmm
Depends completely on the girl, if you get to know her pretty well you could tell her at a right time (so not if you both are naked and ready to go)
Did you meet the girl that evening and if it's a one nighter, then don't bother at all!

Your Past Does Not Equal Your Future! -Anthony Robbins

If you define yourself by your past, then you forced yourself to stay the way you've always been. Just because you haven't been in a relationship before or been laid, doesn't mean you can't. You are not the same person you used to be. I'm sure your eyes have been opened to all new perspectives and possibilities lately, this has changed you. The old "you" that was incapable of getting a girlfriend or laid, is dead. He exists in the past. You exist right now. The new you who is capable of what ever you put your mind to.

If you woke up today with amnesia, and didn't know you never had a girlfriend or been laid, would it still affect your success with women? If you could make your entire past disappear like it never happened, would you still have the same problems? The past can only hurt you if you bring the past into the present. Make your peace with the past and let that part of your life go away. Focus on right now, because that's all you really have anyway.

I don't know if you came up with this or copied it, but this is not just a great post, it is an amazing post. I agree, on all accords!

I've been listening to Tony Robbins Personal Power series. They are his ideas, I was just paraphrasing the parts that really struck a chord with me.