You are completely missing the point! You are confusing WANTING to have sex, with having sex.

I was trying to point out that all women WANT to have sex, but some feel pressure to wait (by society, upbringing, or religion). Just because women wait to have sex under certain situations, doesn't mean they don't WANT to have sex.

You don't seem to understand that women who won't have sex until marriage/LTR, still WANT sex, they just don't allow themselves to have it. It is very important to understand that women are HIGHLY SEXUAL beings, even more so than men. Until you understand this FACT, you will have trouble creating attraction with women.

Sinn brought up another good point about the Madonna/Whore complex. A lot of guys can't understand how a nice girl could want to have sex, it's beyond their reality. They see women as either Virgin/Wholesome girls, or dirty sluts; and they can't see anything in between. Sex is a natural part of life, don't make it out to be some positive or negative force, it's not.

Which brings me to another point, if you walk around with a Madonna/Whore complex, you will always assume that a woman is wholesome and wants to wait. Most women aren't like that, whether you want to believe it or not. Look at the sex studies, women for the most part are having sex very young and outside of marriage. There is a small percentage of women who wait, but don't assume they all are.

Bottom line is that we are all human and we all have the need for sex, women too. Don't treat women like they are some how above us and don't have the same desires and needs we do, that is very unhealthy.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......now you're fuckin making assumptions about me >_>

I probably dont have a problem with attracting women, I just respect the fact that some want to wait.....

But guess what? I'm obviously not gonna get through to you, and likewise so I'll have my opinions and you'll have yours.

When I say "you will have trouble", I mean it in the universal sense, referring to anyone who may be reading this, not necessarily just you.

Though I find it interesting how an assumption might offend you, while you see nothing wrong with calling guys ignorant and hypocrites just because they have different opinions than you.
No you are not going to get through to me and I never asked you to (not to mention you really didn't argue any of your opinions, you merely criticized mine). So good luck, and we'll have to agree to disagree.

Thanks for the advice everybody!
I have a psychological issue which prevents me from having sex(with anybody).

But I'm not going to until I'm in a committed relationship.
The time wont come for sex until I AM READY. Because I AM the MAN.
Firstly, I have had 6 other girlfriends who I havent had sex with. My last was a 9 month relationship. I should add that I am young, probably much younger than the forum members here. I'm a year under twenty, and she is 2 years older than me.

I dont believe "You can't make a girl your girlfriend without having sex with her." I'm sure this is more true the older you get, and I do agree that it would be a much better move to sleep with her before attempting to establish a relationship, but it is complete bullshit to say a girl wont be your girlfriend without sleeping with her first. She isnt going to leave me after 2 months of being together because I havent had sex with her. She wont be running off to have sex with some other guy. "All girls have needs, all guys have needs", etc, yes. But there are decent girls and there are indecent girls. The one I have picked is the one I want to be with.

Secondly, I dont have a Madonna/Whore complex. The issue is WITH ME, NOBODY ELSE. Its MY ISSUE. Up until I am ready, I do not believe she would request sex with me, and if in that case I deny her and she subconsciously wants sex, it would be extremely unlikely she is a girl who would find a guy or be picked up by a guy willing. If thats the case... I wouldnt want her.
What? She was throwing herself at me by sleeping with me in my bed? A blow to her ego, how?


Its going really well, by the way...

In retrospect, my problem was assuming we were or should have been in a relationship because we were holding hands and kissing. I didnt realize I was still in the Attract/Comfort stages. Next time I'm just not going to ask whether we should be in a relationship or not. I'll just play it cool.

My situation is specialized because my goal isnt to get a lay... I could have laid 8 or 9 girls if I were to go back and change history. I had a rockstar period... Hahaha. So I know that sex with her would help, but it isnt me so that isnt going to happen, if ever, yet.

I have also denied fools mate's. Like.. some let me know verbally that they wanted it and I just cuddled with them. Hehe.

My goal is to establish a relationship with a beautiful, intelligent woman. And I'm well on my way! I'm very happy.

I didnt reply to her last myspace message "we should get pizza" and 2 days later, at 10pm she sent me a text "I miss you " I didnt reply to that either. The next day she sent another text "now im worried.." and I replied 3 hours later.

Since then we have been texting every 2 days or more. She went away for a week and I'll be seeing her next on Monday I think... I told her I have something really fun planned and I'll tell her on the day. I'm having a picnic with her

This girl has said some really, really sweet things. Like "I really value you in my life" awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I feel like cuddling her now.

_________________
dsfdsf

Do you have to be a fuckin cock about it? If you dont feel that someone's gonna get through to you then don't fuckin argue about it. Seems to me that you're secure enough in your opinion so you dont need to argue. Get over yourself.
Well.......thanx

I've tried to be civil about this ongoing debate we have been having, you're the one that resorts to name calling. Out of respect for this forum, I've refrained from posting anything overtly negative about you. But that being said, this has been an argument over opinions, not a plea for enlightenment. If I had wanted help, I would have made my own post asking for it. Don't expect to change my opinion by "getting through to me", I merely wanted to hear yours.
You've done nothing but argue, so are you secure in your opinion?
This isn't about me. This all started because I was defending another person's opinion which you discredited without explanation. All I ever asked was that you defend your point of view, which seems reasonable since this is a forum.

If you didn't like my opinion or Sinn's opinion, you could have simply disagreed and explained your point of view. This forum is about helping people, not about tearing other people down. I tried to include info in my posts, you only posted words of criticism about other people's posts. How did that help anybody?

We need to stop this, there are rules on this forum against back-and-forth comments like these. It won't be long before we get warned by a moderator.

You are eventually going to have to have sex with her not going to freak you out!!!!!

Why do people always want a relationship, see how things turn out! You are having harmless fun at the moment and should see how things go, I mean she lives 2 hours away so it is probably a good thing you have a phobia of sex.

You will not gain anything yet from being in a relationship! You will just get to call each other boy f and girl f and still act the same.

_________________
"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!"--Copy store clerk (Jerry Maguire)

I for one respect the fact this guy wants a releationship ove a f**k - for some people a F**k is the only that matters in a man-woman interaction. Feelings like love and affection wouldnt not have evolved if sex is the only thing that mattered. we are human beings with complicated emotions and love goes beyond sex. This guy is looking for a relationship lets respect that and advice him on those terms. He doesnt want sex before a relationship - is that too much to ask?

So you say you dont mind losing her - why don't you? Am sure there are better more mature girls who feel the same way about sex and relationship as you. Thats the only adivice I can give you because I am not very experinced in this.

But I do strongly encourage the members to stop this argueing and do what you are here to do - ask for help and give help. This guy has turned to us in need of a help and we are swearing/cursing at him and each other - trying to statisfy you egos. Really? Is this necessary?

I basically want commitment. I really really love to have a companion, someone to hold hands with wherever I go, to tell all my secrets... a special girl to cuddle with at night. Hehe. Becoming officially boyfriend and girlfriend would be the commitment I seek.
Yeah you make an interesting point, I dont know what it was but I've been conditioned not to want sex at all so I cant exactly relate to a lot of guys my age who chase girls to fuck or Mystery fucking 68 girls in an effort to cure his loneliness. I get with girls because I'm sometimes lonely too-I just dont fuck them, only cuddle. Haha.

A lot of PUA guides explore 'female psychology' and use evolutionary studies to examine how to become the male that all females want to fuck, but no guide has ever examined the reasons why us males are driven to fuck so many women. Why? I understand women are attracted to very high value men, but why are we attracted to those women? We dont NEED to fuck them to survive, we use condoms to avoid propagation.

Shouldnt the strongest, most intelligent males of TODAY be searching not for 68 fucks but for 1 high-value, highly intelligent, beautiful female to share their lives and reproduce with?

_________________
dsfdsf

Handcuffs and Shackles (you can hold her until she finds a blowtorch or nearest DIY store).

Companionship is not crafted over night, it takes time to earn each others trust, confidence (I mean would you tell all your secrets to someone you just met, not unless it is Cameron Diaz asking for a titty fuck in return for secrets would you!). Keep doing what you are doing and see how things go out, and you will just know when the moment is right to call each other boy f and girl f--it will feel more right.
It feels nice sticking your pee pee in her ho ho.
No seriously, sex with someone you care about or have an emotional connection is completely different to some dumb blond in a club cubical believe me.

GOOD LUCK.

_________________
"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!"--Copy store clerk (Jerry Maguire)

I am sorry for distracting focus away from you thread kookookoo. While I should have been focused trying to give you advice I was unfortunately sidetracked with a side argument. You deserved all of the attention within your own thread, and I apologize for detracting from it. I am glad to hear that things are going well between you and your new girlfriend. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope everything works out perfect for you two.

Glad to see the users can self-moderate from time to time when necessary

Looks like things will cool down from here on out in this thread so it will not be locked.

Carry on...
Actually, theories in evolutionary psychology have explained why males are more prone to have sex with a greater variety of women as opposed to just one high-quality woman.

In short, it all has to do with our genetic survival. That is to say, our sexual habits are driven to ensure the survival of our genes and not just our individual selves. A man's genes have a greater probability of surviving into the next generation if he impregnates as many women as possible. A woman's genes, on the other hand, have a greater probability of surviving into the next generation if she can be sure that the child she rears survives long enough to reproduce. She can ensure her child's survival by selecting one man with the excellent genes, and/or a man who can teach her child essential skills necessary to survive and succeed.

You might question our desires in relation to the needs and conditions of modern society ("TODAY"), but the fact of the matter is that our natural desires were programmed within our inherent genetic code over millions of years.

It is also interesting to note that evolutionary psychology can explain why SOME men have the desire to just be with one woman. For the human species to survive as a whole, we need families to protect babies from the harsh barren world of lions, tigers, and bears. Some strong men are needed to protect their family's well-being. Men who are good at obtaining resources are needed to feed and provide for a pregnant mother who otherwise might die and fail to give birth. Thus, evolution has deemed it appropriate for men to fall in love in order to ensure the survival of his baby in his lover's belly (or at least, what he THINKS is his baby).

A man with really excellent genes, however, pretty much has the genetic responsibility (for lack of a better term) to spread his seed as much as possible to make the human gene pool stronger. He will be more promiscuous by nature. His genes have a higher chance of surviving if another man is there to take care of his child after he leaves to go impregnate another woman. This is where the "provider" man comes in. It's no secret to evolutionary psychologists that women have a natural desire to sleep with many "alpha" men with excellent genes and to settle down with a provider who can share their resources with her. "Nice guys finish last" is pretty accurate. They finish, but not before all the bad boys do. In fact, approximately 1 in 10 people aren't raised by their biological fathers, whether they know it or not (according to David Deangelo, the seduction community's evo psych authority). Many of these provider men do indeed reproduce, but it's more often than not with just one woman. Hey, the human gene pool still needs those providers!

If you feel a natural tendency to be with just one woman, though, don't let this kinda shit discourage you from doing what you want to do. Just go with your truest desires and you will be happy. That is what matters most.

It sounds as if she will say "yes" if you express your desire to be bf/gf with her. Share some special moments together and it'll pretty much seal the deal.