| So I've been hooking up with girl for about 3 weeks. We met in class (college) where she has been showing me her interest in me for quite some time. I began to take some interest in her, and eventually we began to get a little intimate by kissing everytime we go out. We haven't really been on a one-on-one date yet, but she usually makes sure to let me know that she wants me to give her a ride home after we've been out in a crowd. She just got out of a pretty long and exhausting relationship where she was not happy in the least, this guy was a real low-life, apparently. She began to show interest in me while she was breaking up with this guy.
We never really spoke on the phone, although we can have pretty lengthy conversations texting each other, where we'll be flirtatious with one another.
I pretty much picked up on the fact that she does not want to be in a relationship after a few times of seeing her and speaking to her, but here's the kicker... She would send really mixed up signals that would confuse me. She could say 'I've never met a guy like you..' or 'you're so handsome I'd like to..blah blah blah.' This girl would be super flirtatious with me when we're alone and she would get really intimate kissing me all over and really showing her interest in me. But, as soon as we are in a crowd together, its like she doesn't even know me!!! The first couple of times I thought "maybe shes just playing a game with me.." But I soon realized that this is a real issue, she simply does not want to even HINT at the fact there is something between us when we're in a crowd.
I tried to bring up this issue once, but she kind of didnt really know where I was coming from. Afraid to push her out, I immediately stopped and reminded myself that I shouldnt be getting too attached to her emotionally. The issue came up another time (the second of which) when she told me that I frustrate her because she can't have a normal conversation with me... I was taken back. We speak all the time, and I'm open to ANY topic. So, I decided to probe a little bit. I ended up saying that it's hard to speak to someone when they act so coldly. After I realized that she is soo used to being on the defensive (probably form her last relationship) that she thought I was attacking her! I was just merely trying to have a normal conversation, after somewhat convincing her of that she told me she had no clue she was giving me the cold shoulder!
We went out to a club recently when all we really tried to do all night was try and make each other jealous. I was out speaking to girls at the bar, and laughing and dancing with other girls, meanwhile she was speaking to some guys. That didn't bother me, what did was the fact that when she came into the place, as usually, she just waved at me from a distance. Later that night, after a few drinks, she tried to kiss me when she thought she had a clear shot. About to reciprocate the kiss, I pulled back and asked her 'Why does she want to kiss me?' She didnt really respond and suggested that we go back to our table where our friends were sitting. I urged her to stay and dance, she did for just a bit until we both just split up again.
A few days ago, she approached me and started speaking about what I meant that other day when I told her that she acts coldly toward me. I can tell this has been brewing in her head already. She told me she was confused and asked me why we cant just be friends. After I told her that I realized she does not want to be in a relationship, and I'd rather not waste my time kissing her for no reason without getting anywhere.
When we just started hooking up, she invited me to a friends birthday party. I was really excited that she did this and I thought that this can really go somewhere. The party didnt workout. Before that she mentioned that she would really want to see a Broadway show with me since she gets some discounted tickets. To check her I said let's invite our friends and have a blast. She responded by saying with 'what if i dont want anyone else to be there?' I was happy but, the show didnt work out.
I was debating whether or not I should take her out to dinner since these plans kept going awry. But, I was so turned off by her black and white personality that I ultimately decided against it.
Now, I feel like I may have destroyed all chances of being with her after not acting to take her out and telling her that I'm not interested in just kissing her. She did say she does not want to be in a relationship right now, but again I dont want to be her experiment and Im really the guy who would sleep around with random girls.
I've been through a really serious relationship that ended about a year ago. I fell in love, with this girl, for the first time in my life, and I was afraid that I may be projecting those emotions onto this new girl. But, at this point I'm not sure if I still want to pursue her, although she does still sometimes send me these smaller-scale signals of interest. Like touching my face to feel my shave, or giving me eye-contact when were out, or dropping little stupid comments like 'thanks for inviting me here... or something' (meanwhile she goes out all the time and never even gives me a heads up, I counter by getting in touch with her friend who I know is with her)
Guys, please help me out!!!
Did I ruin all possibility with this chic? If not, how can I bring that spark back to life? Where did I go wrong? What should I look for that's coming from her? Should I send her some kind of signals?
Thank you so much, and this forum rocks!
|
CHAT