I think i need to focus more on this... any suggestions on what audio/video/books i should purchase?

Experience.

besides that buddy...

Some Different things that can benefit inner game:

1. affirmations - the ones recommended by SwinggCat, David DeAngelo, Rob J, Ross Jeffries, and other great pua's. You have to repeat affirmations for at least 20 min every day for at least 3 weeks.

2. visualization - visualize yourself being confident and successful with girls.
Visualize yourself getting the kind of girls you want.
Read up on how to visualize.
Ideally you should visualize at least once every day.
It really makes you a lot more motivated to go for what you want.
It actually pushes you to make things happen and it makes results happen
in a way that seems kind of magical.

3. Do the newbie mission

4. Talk to every female you can, no matter who they are

5. Talk to every hot chick you can

6. NLP Techniques to improve your inner game

7. David DeAngelo's "Deep Inner Game" video (I haven't watched this yet)

8. Learning and using techniques to make a chick orgasm a long time and cum hard. Read ebooks by David Shade & others.

9. Being successful in your own business or career will give you confidence that will transfer over into other areas, such as women. Also success with women will create success in other areas like making money. So it goes both ways.

10. Learning more about pua knowledge & techniques may make you feel more confident

11. Learning speed seduction may make you feel more confident

12. getting more physically fit and grooming yourself well may make you more confident

13. Stop thinking all negative thoughts

14. Stop hanging around negative people, abusive people, losers, and assholes.

15. Not taking crap from people

16. Being independent so that you're not under anyone's thumb

17. becoming an alpha man

18. learning how to fight

19. Hang around guys who are successful with women if you can.

20. Learn how to become less sensitive to emotional pain and how to dissociate yourself from emotional pain, so that even though it may be there, you don't get CAUGHT UP in it or BUY INTO it. Learn to separate it from the rest of your psyche.


I think you should start with the affirmations and visualization.
They really work if you apply yourself and do them every day.

Man I swear we are the same person that was going to be my answer and any buddhist writting

What you guys don't understand is that not everyone is the same.
Some people are a lot more sensitive than other people.
Some people grew up with shitty parents.
Some people grew up abused.
Some people have major emotional issues and psychological problems.
Some people have self limiting beliefs.
Some people were poorly socialized when growing up.
Some people have other problems.

So telling such people to JUST GET EXPERIENCE is like telling a severely depressed person to JUST GET OVER IT. I don't think it's that simple. If it's that simple for you, then fine, but not everyone is the same as you. If it was that fucking simple then I think 100% of the people on this board would be out there sarging every day and getting a lot of experience and doing well with chicks. Obviously that's not happening. So simply saying "get experience" is really shitty advice IMO.

For example I was doing crappy financially. I was stuck in crappy, dead end jobs. Then I spent a lot of time studying success advice and now I'm doing much better financially and no longer doing shitty jobs. I'm self employed doing something I like. I studied financial success advice for 2 years before I started doing better financially.

Learning from success materials helped me a lot to make more money and do a business that I like, so I am using pua materials to help me do better with girls. And I'm fucking sick of people who are telling everyone it's all SO easy and to not learn anything about pua. I don't think it's ever a good idea to be ignorant about anything that's important. It really seems horrible to me to advocate being ignorant about girls and pickup knowledge.

I feel like guys who advocate ignorance are actually trying to SABOTAGE other guys instead of helping them. We're supposed to help each other on this board, not fuck each other up.

I know guys that ask for advice get books read them over and over and still do nothing. There is no one thing that will sort anything like this but experience will in my opinion be more useful and natural than doing exercises.

As far as I am concerned doing exercises with no real experience will make you think your inner game is tight then you will be all surprised when it falls apart. Seems to happen to most people then you have a little experience so can go out and get the lessons etc down.


But essentially the person is asking how to think, I don't think anybody is qualified to tell anyone what to think just guide but meh my advice stand you can fake it till you make it (till it falls apart under closer scrutiny) or man up like the rest of us have and do things.

Also billionaire I think the only real ignorance here is your assumption that we have had perfect lives and everything has been easy for us

As I am the same person as Jaybot (apparently)

I feel that I need to agree with him/myself!

You can spend a lot of money and time on books and material without really learning anything at all. You need to have a reality to relate to. All the affirmations can give some inner game but do you really thing that it will work if all you have to relate to is your AFC day failures? Can a book just tell you to be confident? No! Can we just tell him to be confident? No! But we can tell him that if he wants to change it starts with going into the situation where you are gonna need the skill you wanna learn. Dont learn to swim on dry land.

Billionaire, I agree with Jaybot on his ignorance comment too! You have no idea about our backgrounds! It is not easy for anyone! It was not just to do it! But like it or not, if you are gonna learn PUA you need to freaking get out there and get the experience. I am not saying that it is useless to read books but like Jaybot pointed out, you can build all kinds of fake confidence that is gonna fall apart when challenged. I posted a thread a while ago about kicking AA. The main point was... It is a choice. You choose to beat or not beat AA. Same thing here. You can choose to stay home reading and hope that you will get enough confidence to go out one day or you can choose to make learning this shit your top priority. If the need to learn is greater than your fear of it then you are going out there.

We are not trying to keep anyone from learning, just trying to help you prioritize your learning. I used to read quite a lot about inner game but it wasnt until I got out in the field that I really got it.

And, remember, we have gone through exactly the same things you go through. We know that it is hard. We have felt the pain, the shame, the humiliation. We have spent too much money on stupid peacocking clothes, we have used the canned openers, we have negged too hard, we have crashed and burned. We KNOW how it feels! BUT!!! Going out to practice is the number one teacher!

Long post but you I got annoyed!

Ezo

Blue notes decoded by RSD tyler durden.

Im going to post an article named "Energy: it can get you laid"

hope that helps
avk

i do 12 step meetings, read tons of self help books, meditation, but. . .


the #1 thing that helped me with inner game is learning MMA & gym work. exercise regularly helps keep your mind sharp too. even if it's just running around the block a couple times

not just for pickup, this works for every aspect of my life. i know no matter what happens i'll be fine and i'll be able to handle myself. it's a HUGE confidence builder for me.

GL to u

and btw, check out a few styles and gyms in your area and find something that fits for you before u commit and start paying dues. my personal choice is muay thai for stand up and jiu jitsu for ground fighting. but you can go with wrestling and karate if u like that style better or maybe that's all that available in your area.

_________________
How about if I wait six weeks to call. I could tell her I found her number while I was cleaning out my wallet, I can't remember where we met. I'll ask her what she looks like and then I'll ask her if we Fucked. How about that? Would that be money?

I agree with taking up MMA training. Nothing has helped me more, although I still have a long way to go. I still get terrified of approaching, but at least if the girl has an angry, rabid boyfriend, I will be prepared.

If you feel afraid of physical injury as you go out picking up girls you need to change completely...

I am not against martial arts training but I suggest choosing one of the traditional Japanese styles from a club who not only brings you the fighting skills but also the mindset and inner peace that comes with it.

And the confidence you get from being able to beat other people down is completely different from the one you need in PU... Just so that you know.

to each their own, that's what works for me.

i'm 6' 180 so i'm not the biggest guy. but i know if i have to compete with another AMOG i'm not going to feel intimidated if harsh words are exchanged.


not to stray too far from the topic, pick some of the suggestions try it. if it doesn't work try something else. i agree with Billionaire. everyone's different.


in my case, i was always scrawny growing up, physically abused by my step-dad. when other kids raise their hands i would flinch. the memories still affected my mannerisms even after i moved out of my parents place. i've done counseling all kinds of shit. no amount of talking or reading really gave me confidence that fighting training did.

that's just my story, you gotta find out for yourself what's going to work for u.

_________________
How about if I wait six weeks to call. I could tell her I found her number while I was cleaning out my wallet, I can't remember where we met. I'll ask her what she looks like and then I'll ask her if we Fucked. How about that? Would that be money?

I am new here and I am also seeking advice on how to gain more confidence with women. I think all you guys are right and there's really no need to bash each other, we are all here for the same reasons. We might be at different stages in our development to being alpha males, but the process of our evolution from a weak dependent child to a strong independent male is the same for each one of us. You will not succeed until you get your inner game straight and since we are all different we might about go about it in different ways. I, for one, have some serious limiting beliefs that have regressed my life psychologically and in turn economically, romantically & physically. I've decided that I have to change my life in order to avoid dying a miserable old man, which keeps me motivated each day. Eventhough, I have not gone out and sarged yet, I do my equal share of reading on inner game -David Deangelo's DIG program is excellent - and I am also more friendlier and open with people in general. I haven't gone out and sarged yet, but will soon. In my opinion, it's a combination of both book learning and field experience

Well I'll just say this. Everyone has a different background. Maybe some people don't have as many issues hindering them as others. But a lot of guys here, need to seriously work on their inner game issues before they will get any real success with women. A lot of the times the only thing stopping a guy from being successful with women IS his inner game issues.

What I hate is when guys talk about pickup like it's some kind of magic formula that will fix all of your life's problems. Pickup is about learning how to be better with women, not a depression cure.

If you have low self-esteem or any real deep seeded psychological problems, getting laid is only a band-aid. I know guys that are awesome with women, but they are terribly depressed. They pickup women when they are sad, like an overweight person turns to food when they are sad. It's an addiction to a temporary ego boost. I also know other guys who are learning, and they can't get chicks because their self-esteem is so low that they don't believe they deserve chicks, so they sub-consciously sabotage themselves.

This is why the PU field has been shifting toward inner game products recently. You really need to get yourself taken care of mentally before you are ready to enjoy the benefits of PU.