Alright so here comes a little bit of a field report with a question attached at the end.

So let’s dive into this one together, the stage is set it is a beautiful night along the Kingston waterfront I’m riding home after a rather challenging rugby practice. So here I am on a mountain bike wearing stinky and sweaty cloths rolling down to this interesting little draw bridge (it completely rocks by the way), and as I roll around the corner my eyes and my brain snap to attention. Girl CUTE GIRL! I roll up and break hard about ten feet behind her and step off, breaks squeal like they haven’t seen oil in ten years (the bike has been around that long so it is possible) and she rolls her body towards me and apologizes for being in the way while making eye contact.

Me: I can’t ride anyway, sign back there says.
Me: So what brings you to this side of the bridge?
Her: Comply responds and seeks report with body language.
Me: Nice, insert a quick story about rugby & the practice I just finished.
Her: REALLY RUGBY! Seeks report by drawing similarities (she played as her schools team captain, non varsity team)
*With the body language indicating attraction taken care of and I have already waited for her to qualify to me I move to rapport.
Discuss rugby and bust her balls a bit while laying the ground work to get a day two later indicating I’m seeking places to party (new in town)
Me: Move the conversation back to what she is doing at school over the summer and some small ball busting but keeping it nice and light.
Her: Continuing the conversation and laughing when I bust her balls.
* she is carrying the conversation at this point until I cut the useless threads, and move it back to where I want the conversation to go.
Me: Insert a plug for a number close, well since you have been here for 3 years you must know the city pretty well.
Her: Qualify a little but says the city is dead over the summer.
Me: Bust her for it being a tourist city in the summer.
Her: Agrees and lets the conversation drop.
Me: You know if we are going to hang out I’ll need your number.
Her: That’s cool.
Me: *insert compliance test* Have her walk all the way around the bike to get my phone out of my bag while it is on my back (Yes I know Zero Kino with a bike in between her and I, newbie mistake)
Her: * comply and gives me her full name and cell number.
Me: Continue conversation and throw a couple more rapport building things together as we close the conversation.

*** So this took all of maybe 7 minutes while I was dressed like crap, smelling, but I was feeling like King Kong so I couldn’t loose.

Here comes the next part (the time bridge)

2 days later I give her a call and we talk for a bit (I hold control almost exclusively) and tell her that I’ve gotten crazy busy and that I might meet her next week.

Monday night I send a text asking what the plan for the day two is going to be.

Tuesday night decide to give a call since the day two was tentatively set for Wednesday. No answer, I continue on to my Rugby practice, and find a missed call afterwards. Give her a call back.

She tells me that she can “can’t keep going out with me”
Me: Cool, your too busy
Her: It’s a long story
Me: That’s fine you can tell me or not
Her: Yeah …
Me: I’ll give you a call in a couple of weeks see if your not too busy.
Her: Cool!
Me: By the way one of your buddies is on my team
* we go back and fourth on the conversation for about a minute and then I cut her loose and that is that.

******

So here is the question. Where did I telegraph intentions to get this to blow up?
How did I get dumped (for the first time in my life btw!) before I was even seeing her?
Recommendations?

_________________
Granit
me.granit@gmail.com
www.otownlair.com

This is probably the blind leading the blind, but from what you just wrote, it sounds like 1 of 2 things. 1) It was a shit test to establish control again since you were pushing all the timelines or 2) she was just being up front about her lack of interest since you guys didn't have a strong start and more than a week had gone by. It's probably 1, because really, who calls to say they're not interested unless she was being badgered? From your story, if she was out roaming around by herself, it sounds like you had an instant date opportunity.

Hey buddy,

Thanks for the outside perspective. Here comes something interesting. This girl is starting to text and call me back more and more right now. And it started with a shit test (I'm pretty sure). She showed up to a place, group setting where I'm normally there and said she was there. Basically called me out for not being there but I side stepped that and went emotional not logical in not responding to the question.

Who is playing who?

What did I do wrong ? Right ?

_________________
Granit
me.granit@gmail.com
www.otownlair.com

"She tells me that she can “can’t keep going out with me”
Me: Cool, your too busy "
I personally would ask her what she meant by "keep going out with me" if we hadn't gone out, that actually sounds really weird and I would be creeped out lol. I think your trying to mindfuck this too girl too much, if you want to go out, go out but do time constraints on the date. Why would a girl be interested in a guy that wasn't really demonstrating interest.

Just want to ask a couple of quick questions on that last post.

1. Are you trying to tell me to let her control the frame, or force her to qualify? ie. seeming needy?

2. Mindfuck the girl? Are you joking? If anything I'm pretty sure that although I'm leading the frame when we talk I'm pushing it down her preselected paths.

Either way you have me asking questions now because honestly from what I'm 'learning' the best way to deal with things is not be reactive and do what you want to anyway, if she wants to join GREAT!

_________________
Granit
me.granit@gmail.com
www.otownlair.com

Hey Granit, just reread my post I should definately clarify what I mean. I just think your time bridge is a little extreme. I've just found that from actually being busy and time bridging too far away things get stale. Theres a quote from mystery method "Desire without attachment" - It's okay to want to hang out with her the next day or maybe a couple days later. At the same time you don't want to appear needy like you were saying I like your wording:

"...do what you want to anyway, if she wants to join GREAT!"-Granit

As for what she said again thats just a little bit weird I would ask her to clarify what she means.

She is an LSE. I would say that she probably didnt want to meet you in the first instance because she was thinking porbably she is being too easy OR may be she genuinely must have had a problem. Dont bother for the reason.

The fact the you acted non needy has brought her back into the picture. Kudos for controlling the frame.

With this girl, she sounds like she would react to someone who is laid back funny etc.. just be relaxed with her and dont push her for 'anything' be non reactive.